[Spoken] People say I'm too ambitious with a lot of my songs, uh... So this is a song from the perspective of God [Verse 1] I've never written a book in my life 'Cause your tiny brains would never get it Me compared to Shakespeare's like Shakespeare compared to Shakespeare's wife I gave you everything but I gave you simple minds So you made simple...Learn More

[Intro] Let's rock! 1! 2! 1-2-3-4! [Verse 1] I'm a feminine Eminem, a slim shady lady But nice, 'cause I texted Haiti 90 lady cops in the road And I'm arrested for doing 80 Like Hamlet, all about "words, words, words" Divide a whole into thirds, thirds, thirds I'm a gay sea otter: I blow other dudes out of the water I'm the man muffin, diving,...Learn More

[woman shouts indistinctly] [Bo] What’s that, ma’am? What did you say? This is your moment. Who said it? [woman] Take your pants off! [audience laughs] [Bo] Do not objectify me, okay? You think it’s okay just ’cause I’m a dude? [man] Do it! [audience laughs and cheers] [Bo] You think it’s okay ’cause he’s a dude? That is homophobia. Just the...Learn More

[Intro] I feel like hip hop Used to be a voice for the voiceless And now it's become, at least in the mainstream A symbol of misogyny, gay panic, fiscal irresponsibility So I figure If you can't beat 'em Join 'em [Verse 1] Hittin' the club up VIP I got a fake mustache and a fake ID I look like Wooly Willy With a really wooly willy And I bypass the...Learn More

I saw a gorgeous… dick. I was in the public restroom. Some guys might be like me. I cannot use a urinal when there’s a guy beside me. I freeze up. So I have to use the stalls. In this case, all the stalls were taken. I had to use a urinal. There was a guy beside me. I took a little look. You’re not picturing this. All right. [dramatic music...Learn More

[Verse 1] I don't know if all boy scouts are gays They could probably "tie the knot" in like fifty different ways Got a safe full o' cherries, 'cause I pop it and lock it A girl's like a fridge, once a week you should stock it Girl, if you're into rimmin', it's only safe if you're swimmin' But girl, don't sit on that couch, 'cause I treat my...Learn More

[Announcer] And now… what making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich feels like when you’re high on marijuana [Instrumental] [Announcer] And now… what making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich feels like… when you’re shit-faced [Instrumental] [Dialogue Woman & Bo Burnham] Hey, baby, I’m home. Honey, you okay? What’s wrong? [inaudible] Are you...Learn More