I was younger, oh, I was young A snakebite and a half, and I was anyone’s And I’d smoke ’til my mouth was full I was seventeen and stupid Thought I was twenty-two and cool You were younger, tell me, you were young A Patti Smith album? Well, I’d never heard one You lick Woodbine and talk like God And I worshiped you And I worshiped you Now after...Learn More

I made you hippies from my shaker make pack I made you money, dear, and I don’t want it back I made you promise me you wouldn’t click your nails I made advances that i knew were bound to fail I made you angry, but then I ran you a bath I signed your calf muscle with my fake autograph I made you realize I’m a very soft touch I make you ill...Learn More

The college party ends finally To working placements in holidays A stolen kiss in the lavatory She shuts her eyes and says, “Miss me, miss me” She’s fat and loose and fancies me But she’s hanging up a bomb in her forty-three And he dribbles in her ear, she giggles and grins She knows she loves her father But she can’t imagine doing it with...Learn More

It’s a shame about Roger Such a shame about him He’s only looking for a good time He wasn’t into that power dealer thing And five years is a long time to go down He’s used to having friends like us around He didn’t mean to screw up some teenage life He’s only being nice He’s lovely Shame about Mandy Such a shame about her She’s only using her...Learn More

Well, she used to play for Birmingham but now she plays for Leeds She used to bap with dignity, but now she’s on her knees She is ugly, she is burgundy, she’s lying but she’s green So don’t introduce your sister to me Don’t introduce your sister to me...Learn More

Twenty years pretending On a tour that’s never-ending In a jacket that is lending more to comedy A local press pictorial A Burger King memorial A test for DNA that went disasteredly the wrong way You’re the bastard son of Elvis Jesus, what a bastard thing to be Bastard son of Elvis He clipped you round the ear In his Las Vegas gear When you were...Learn More

Well, I’m terrified to tell you But you’re scaring me to death And I’m being realistic But I can’t get out of bed So if I throw up on your carpet Then you’ve only yourself to blame ‘Cause when you’re lying upon it Then I’m doubled up in pain Ah, yeah In olden days It would be just a phase And it would go away But I’m much too scared of you Yeah,...Learn More

Goodnight, darling, I’ll be watching as you’re snoring And I’ll be so bored, but I’ll be watching in the morning And I drunk all the milk that I’ll be up before the sunshine comes To hit you darling, hit you darling Hit you darling, hit you darling, hit you darling… Goodnight, darling, I’m surprised but you’re still smiling And I know I’m ill, but...Learn More

Alan, make a miracle, make a miracle come true In our damp living room and the news agents’ cue And spaces in small places, I place all my trust in you With my barrel in your hand, you are more than just a man And you will always dream that you will win, and I bloody well hope so My life unfurls in the western world, I have nowhere else to go If...Learn More