It was holiday time for the famous five by Enig Blyter; Tom, Stan, Dave, Nigel, Berniss, Arthur, Harry, Wee Jockey, Matoombo, and Craig? For the past 17 years the fabled fibe had been forming into adventures on varicose islands and secrete vallets with their famous ill bred dog, Cragesmure. Their popular Uncle Philpole with his popular curly white...Learn More

Dressed in my teenold brown sweaty I easily micked with crown at Neville Club a seemy hole. Soon all but soon people accoustic me saying such thing as 'Where the charge man?' All of a southern I notice boils and girks sitting in hubbered lumps smoking Hernia taking Odeon and going very high. Somewhere 4ft high but he had Indian Hump which he grew...Learn More

INTRODUCTION At Woolton village fete I met him. I was a fat schoolboy and, as he leaned an arm on my shoulder, I realised that he was drunk. We were twelve then, but, In spite of his sideboards, we went on to become teenage pals. Aunt Mimi, who had looked after him since he was so high, used to tell me how he was cleverer than he pretended, and...Learn More

It was little Bobby's birthday today, and he got a surprise. His very fist was jopped off, (The War) and he got a birthday hook! All his life Bobby had wanted his very own hook; and now on his 39th birthday his pwayers had been answered. The only trouble was they had send him a left hook and ebry dobby knows that it was Bobby's right fist that was...Learn More

I remember Kakky Hargreaves As if 'twer Yestermorn’ Kakky, Kakky Hargreaves Son of Mr. Vaughan. He used to be so grundie On him little bike Riding on a Sundie Funny little tyke Yes, I remember Kathy Hairbream As if 'twer yesterday Katthy, Kathy Hairbream Son of Mr. May Arriving at the station Always dead on time For his destination Now He's dead...Learn More

Henry was his father's son and it were time for him to leave school and go into father's business of Brummer Striving. It wert a farst dying trade which was fast dying. 'But Brummer Striving is a farst dying business, Father,' said young Henry, a young lad. His dad, Harry replied quickly. 'None of thy nonsence, Henry. All thy fathers beforehave and...Learn More

There were no flies on Frank that morning —after all why not? He was a responsable citizen with a wife and child, wasn’t he? It was a typical Frank morning and with an agility that defies description he leapt into the barthroom onto the scales. To his great harold he discovered he was twelve inches more tall heavy! He couldn’t believe it and his...Learn More

I Peckle and Braces (Granarthur) How many body peoble wash 'Peotle and Plaices'? In a recent Doddipottiddy Poll a roaming retorter intervined asking - 'Do you like Big Grunty better more than Gray Burk'? To these questiump many people answered 'On the other hand who are we to judge? I mean who are we'? II Panorasthma (BBC) The self same questium...Learn More

There once upon a time was a man who was partly Dave —he had a mission in life. “I’m partly Dave”, he would growm in the morning which was half the battle. Over breakfast he would again say “I am partly Dave”, which always unnerved Betty. “Your in a rut Dave”, a voice would say on his way to work, which turned out to be a coloured conductor! “It’s...Learn More

One fat morning Eric Hearble wake up with an abnorman fat growth a bombly on his head. “Oh crumb”, said Eric Hearble, who was a very very, surprised. Anyway he carried on as Norman for why should he worried? All of suddy he heard a small little voice calling him by name, “Eric… Eric Hearble”, it seemed to say though I couldn’t say for sure. That...Learn More

Small wonder on this churly morn I crivy like a black To think wot I should be farlorn Through knorb this packymack I may be blink down booltoad With ne'er a thorty skive But I'll december barrold To save my good bad Ive To them perhap be nicky I smirk but querry jump With all this alfy hicky I do but strive a hump Knock down ye smallish...Learn More

There was no reason for Michael to be sad that morning, (the little wretch); everyone liked him, (the scab). He'd had a hard days night that day, for Michael was a Cocky Watchtower. His wife Bernie, who was well controlled, had wrabbed his norman lunch but he was still sad. It was strange for a man whom have everything and a wife to boot. At 4...Learn More