[Verse] I've tried to write so many funny songs About my fear of death But songwriting is hard And it’s not that funny yet It occurred to me while I was drinking boba tea That everyone I'll ever meet will die So I sing [Chorus] Untitled twelve (twelve) One through eleven shelved If you think that this one's rough Well you should hear the old...Learn More

[Intro] One of my one thousand six hundred million fears is to be on the wrong side of history And for there to be some white nerd in a hundred years Shaking his unmuscular fist at me Now I have no reason to believe this But I can't help but feeling it's true, ooh I fear that you are not a good person I fear that I am not a good person too [Verse...Learn More

[Verse 1: Johnny Sebastian and Alexa] Hey Alexa, what's the weather today? It's about 43 degrees overcast Hey Alexa, I appreciate Everything that you do for me and more I'm sorry, I didn't get that Add to my shopping cart A million things that I don't need Oh Alexa you're the only one for me [Verse 2: Johnny Sebastian and Alexa] Hey Alexa, can...Learn More

(Check) [Verse 1] I got a 36 on my ACT (woah) Ok I'm kidding (alright yeah) But for a second you believed me, right? Yeah that's step one: confidence Stay positive with a good handshake and posture 'Cause what kind of offer is a penny for a dollar? Well what kind of offer is a pill that makes you taller Or can make your hair grow longer But if...Learn More

[Verse] Tell me where I can buy Some manta meat for some manta fries Cuz I just love those guys But I want to taste them (taste them, taste them, taste them) I don't want buffalo or ostrich And not kangaroo A lobster or monkey That simply won't do But [Chorus] Manta meat's delicious for me I hope it's better for you Oh yes it's true Manta meat's...Learn More

[Verse 1] Do you think aliens exist And they're looking down on us Thinking our technology and our brains and bodies suck And that we all think too much And that Stone Henge is just rocks [Chorus] I think that if aliens are out there They would think my tiny head is just filled with air and They would look at E.T Think we all look really really...Learn More

[Verse 1] Take me out of Limestoneville In Pennsylvania where you can't get killed A sterile town of fossils where you must sit still Still And are you even really living if you're stuck in Milton sitting all your life I just had an existential crisis in a gas station Now I'm stuck in Milton (Milton) Milton, oh [Chorus] It's not called a fear of...Learn More

[Verse 1] I'm so glad that I'm alive 'Cause it would suck if I had died by now If somehow I could've been mauled by dogs Or said that Minions were bad in front of Facebook moms I could've been born in 1680 and died from the plague Or died from old age, which at the time was 38 I appreciate how lucky I am to be alive (to be alive, to be alive) How...Learn More

[Intro] I spoke of Judith Butler when you were at my side But now within these frat house walls my words are not so kind Fair-weather feminist (feminist) And yes, we do exist, beware (beware) Beware please I'm as sad as you, but please [Verse 1] And it was a pleasant thing to put inside my Tinder bio But now that I'm a bachelor, I won't stare if...Learn More

[Verse] I love the smell of coffee Last night I dreamt of the economy Last night I dreamt of stock exchanges Firing workers, stapling pages I'm moving up the ranks They'll answer to the general now Let's fire up those tanks Even all the veterans bow [Chorus] No need to save General Johnny He's got his share His shirt is all bloody An office is...Learn More