There was a girl who lived on the playa She had a baby named Messiah Didn't know who the dad was The kid was angry always mad was Uh Oh That stuff happens Uh Oh I don't know why Uh Oh The Messiah Uh Oh Please don't cry There was a girl who lived in Virginia Had a dog named Petunia In the woods, attacked by bees Ended up with Lyme Disease Uh...Learn More

There's a horse, there's a dog There's a man, and there's a frog How do you tell which is which? Well don't ask me, you son of a bitch! I walk among them (x4) Where I walk buildings fall Worms are screaming, peanuts crawl There's no strength or weakness here Only tacos and free beer I walk among them (x4) Where I walk buildings fall Worms are...Learn More

[spoken] Visualize me at nearly 5:15 P.M. on my back in the OR An IV fluid dripping into a vein in my left arm The anesthetist talking to me Right in front, and above, a big clock is in view I focus on the time, the second hand The anesthetist says, "Now, you will sleep." I note the darkening of my surroundings Quickly, I look at the...Learn More

Gary and Priscilla Fa fa fa Gary and Priscilla Ta ta ta Gary and Priscilla Ha ha ha Ha ha ha Ha ha ha She says that he's always late He calls her his little girl She says that he's got bad breath He calls her little girl Come here little girl Oh la la little girl Gary and Priscilla Fa fa fa Gary and Priscilla Ta ta ta Gary and Priscilla Ha ha...Learn More

The King of Spain Had a friend named "Luis" The King gave Luis land Over in the east bay Luis built a ranch He named it "San Antonio" He gave some land to his son The one named "Domingo" Then came the americans Squatters and thieves They took the land, kicked out the Spanish And they named the place "Berkeley" After Bishop Berkeley Except they...Learn More

Don't blame this one on me Put the blame, put the blame on Mame Or you can put the blame on the, Bossa Nova But don't put the blame on me Don't blame it on me Don't blame it on me Don't blame it on us Don't blame it on me 'Cause it's not my fault It's not, it's not, it's not my fault It's not, it's not, it's not my fault It's not, it's not, it's...Learn More

Roses are red Violets are blue This may sound harsh But you belong in a zoo I belong there too I'm outside the cage Looking at you Life is a joke- And all things show it I thought so once- But now I know it Yeah, it's so funny I forgot to laugh Yeah, it's so funny I forgot to laugh Yeah, it's so funny I forgot to laugh It's so funny I forgot...Learn More

Did you ever get the feeling when you're down on the street And you see someone who looks a lot like The way you'd like to look And then they get in the car It looks a lot like the car you'd like to drive And you're thinkin' man, that's the way I'd like to live my life Get in a cab, shout at the driver Follow that car Go where they go Follow that...Learn More