[Lyric] 99 Problems (Ice-T)

[Intro: Ice-T & Brother Marquis]
Yeah, last year a lot of motherfuckers asked me
Why I didn't do no old sex nasty shit
But this year I went down to Miami and got my nigga from 2 Live
Brother Marquis in the house! (Yeah I'm the motherfuckin nigga)
Yeah, we gonna answer the question about girl problems
All these niggas is havin girl problem, Marq
(Huh, tell them man, tell them how it is)
Lemme tell you what time is it..

[Verse 1: Ice-T]
I got a ho from the East, got a ho from the West
Got a ho that likes to jack it off and rub it in her chest
I got a ho from the North, a ho from the South
A ho that likes to suck it long and hold it in her mouth
I got a bitch with hair, a bitch with none
A bitch with a knife, a bitch with a gun
A bitch with a ass big as a TV set
And there's a bitch over there; hey, the one I'm gonna get
But yo but maybe not, she might not like me though
No sweat to a vet; I'll slam her sister, though
Word, Ice in the whole damn herd
I fuck 'em all and leave 'em on the curb
I got a bitch with a mink, who rocks a fat gold link
Who likes to fuck me with her ass up on the kitchen sink
Got a bitch with tits, a bitch with ass
A bitch with none, but hey, I'd give her a pass
And I love 'em all, I love 'em crazily
And they love me back - that's why they stay with me
So if you having girl problems, I feel bad for you son
Got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one - hit it
[Hook: Ice-T]
Nah, a bitch ain't one

[Verse 2: Ice-T]
I got a bitch that's old, a bitch that's new
A bitch who love velvet in the colors blue
I got a bitch who's fat, a bitch who's built
A bitch who all her titties give out powdered milk
I got a bitch who's funny, a bitch who ain't
A bitch who can sing, a bitch who cain't
A bitch who loves fucking on a airplane..
I even got a bitch off Soul Train
I got a bitch who rolls a rag-top Benz
Long ends
I got a bitch who's broke as a bum
But she's the most fun
I got a bitch who play piano, a bitch who don't
A bitch who dances naked, a bitch who won't
A bitch who's short, a bitch who's tall
A bitch who burns my pager with priority calls
And I love 'em all, I love 'em crazily
And they love me back - that's why they stay with me
So if you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you son
Got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one - hit me

[Interlude: Ice-T]
Yo Marquis - you from Miami man why don't you show these motherfuckers all the over the world
The 2 Live style of how the bitches treat a mothafuckin' fly nigga like you
[Verse 3: Brother Marquis]
I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one of them
I don't trip on hoes, cause I don't need none of them
Pussy's the temptation, dick's the persuasion
All hoes suck cock nigga how you play 'em?
That's why I don't sleep on 'em, I just freak on 'em
Stick dick in they mouth; take it out and I skeet on 'em
The nigga the one-nighter, the bitch exciter
I only love my hoes when I'm going up inside her
Problem number one is getting money
I'd rather taste the green than sip the honey
So don't expect nothing cause I ain't offering
I go hard on my bitches, cause I'm never never softening
Putting the demand on 'em, fuck 'em and scram on 'em
The "wham, bam, thank you ma'am" game is ran on 'em
So fuck how you feel, your fucking cheap thrill
I hope you took the pill cause I won't pay the bill
Getting pussy's just another expense
If pussy pays the bills then dick pays the rent
I only need a ho for one thing and that's to cum
I've got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one, ha

[Interlude: Ice-T & Brother Marquis]
Ha! Yo Marquis my motherfucker you got problems man?
(A bitch ain't one) Aww shit!
Now let me tell you how to do this shit
[Verse 4: Ice-T & Brother Marquis]
I got a bitch that loves to G
She'll fuck you right after she fucks me
I got a bitch who loves both
I got a bitch who loves handcuffs and ropes
I got a bitch that's fast, a bitch that's slow
A bitch that's a virgin and a bitch that's a ho
A bitch that lies
A bitch that's true
A bitch who's a man because they're bitches too
I got a bitch that's cool
A bitch that's hot
A bitch who loves rap, a bitch who loves rock
A bitch who's lost and one who knows where it's at
She gets up under me and purrs like a cat
I got a bitch that runs, I got a bitch that walks
I got a bitch that yells, I got a bitch who talks
I got a bitch that's dirty, got a bitch that's neat
I got a super fine bitch that I knocked in the swap meet
And I love 'em all, I love 'em crazily
And they love me back - that's why they stay with me
So if you having girl problems, I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one - hit me...

[Hook]
No a bitch ain't one
Huh, you know a bitch ain't one

[Outro: Ice-T & Brother Marquis]
Youknahmsayin? I got problems with my mothafuckin' rent Marquis
But a bitch ain't one
Man you got yourself nothing man
Fuck them raggedy stank-ass hoes nigga
A bitch ain't one
I got a problems staying out here on these streets
With the police trying to take a nigga out, y'know?
But a bitch ain't one
Got problems with motherfuckers.. buying my records
But a bitch ain't one
Fuck 'em all, nigga fuck them motherfuckers
Youknahmsayin? A bitch ain't one
Got problems man
All them motherfuckers can kiss my mothafuckin' ass.. for real
Really, niggas worrying about bitches
They better, they better find something else to worry about