Ground zero looks just how I remember
I moved all my things to a studio downtown last December
My only company is the ghost of us, that forces me to remember
I can’t help but sense that we crashed at the top of our crescendo
Everything is so bland, I cant paint a picture, without your hand
Everything I see is the disappointment of the life that we had planned
I hoped the ends would justify the means and in time you’d understand
But all I'm left with is a gold that over times turned to sand
See, it started out as sex, between your legs, it felt like heaven
Then you became a partner in my aloneness, In essence you became my haven
See, some girls just want the love from the movie screens and the magazines,
But you were in love with my spirit, and the man I could be and could achieve
This city holds you, and it holds my heart too
But it didn’t hold opportunity, the only thing that could make me leave you
How are the kids though? I can already imagine their smile
I would’ve loved to watch them grow and pick up on the subtleties of your style
Do you still have that hairstyle? Or did you say fuck it, and cut it off like you wanted?
The memory I hold most dear is your independence and nonchalant-ness
I know you can’t make room for me in your life so please make room for me in your ears
And hear me loud and clear- I remember every second of those 5 years
June 2nd, 8.45 pm, when I confronted my worst fear
And thru smeared tears the idea of losing you brought me to a knee
And through a broken voice asked you if you wanted to be my wife to be
And If you saw enough in me to spend your life with me
I worked overtime every week just so I could afford the ring
Sweating my ass off in the kitchen frying onion rings
We were both so scared, we never did end up telling our parents
I remember when we stayed up a week straight, budgeting out our move to Paris
Young love, I bought Rosetta stone to learn the language, I was on a mission
I wish I could’ve made my own version for you so you could understand my vision
Ambition was the key to the change in my disposition
To position us in a way that we could grow up healthy, like a physician
I became consumed my picture of a landscape, while I was living in the scene
I decided to put all the weight on my shoulders, like I was doing a clean
No wishful thinking could change my situation, so I had to take action
And more and more, our interactions became in ways a distraction
Solitary nights, frenzied crazes creating syntax from these words
And I come out of my written coma, greeted by the gospel of the birds
So in moments of gauche behavior, I told you I was through with you
But in my moments of lucid thought , I can say this had nothing to do with you
I cant look at myself, and I can barely look at you.
My loneliness turned into sadness, then the sadness into fear,
Then the fear, to an awareness I’ll never find again, what it is that we had here
And my punishments are these nights in a quiet hell, left alone
Constantly reliving the moment she told me to take care of myself, then softly hung up the phone
Instead of holding a grudge, she was sympathetic to me
Knowing that eventually I’d have to face the fact I never became who I wanted to be
She realized that alone had the capability of paralyzing me
And consciously realizing my fantazing was an unreality
Hearts are like clay, if no one touches them for long enough, they grow hard and they grow cold
And no one could reach it, mummified in a cloke of rap sheets, anxious thoughts, and personal goals
If Angels and Demons are interchangeable, its just a matter of perspective,
Then I'll have to find heaven in the hell that I've neglected.
I moved all my things to a studio downtown last December
My only company is the ghost of us, that forces me to remember
I can’t help but sense that we crashed at the top of our crescendo
Everything is so bland, I cant paint a picture, without your hand
Everything I see is the disappointment of the life that we had planned
I hoped the ends would justify the means and in time you’d understand
But all I'm left with is a gold that over times turned to sand
See, it started out as sex, between your legs, it felt like heaven
Then you became a partner in my aloneness, In essence you became my haven
See, some girls just want the love from the movie screens and the magazines,
But you were in love with my spirit, and the man I could be and could achieve
This city holds you, and it holds my heart too
But it didn’t hold opportunity, the only thing that could make me leave you
How are the kids though? I can already imagine their smile
I would’ve loved to watch them grow and pick up on the subtleties of your style
Do you still have that hairstyle? Or did you say fuck it, and cut it off like you wanted?
The memory I hold most dear is your independence and nonchalant-ness
I know you can’t make room for me in your life so please make room for me in your ears
And hear me loud and clear- I remember every second of those 5 years
June 2nd, 8.45 pm, when I confronted my worst fear
And thru smeared tears the idea of losing you brought me to a knee
And through a broken voice asked you if you wanted to be my wife to be
And If you saw enough in me to spend your life with me
I worked overtime every week just so I could afford the ring
Sweating my ass off in the kitchen frying onion rings
We were both so scared, we never did end up telling our parents
I remember when we stayed up a week straight, budgeting out our move to Paris
Young love, I bought Rosetta stone to learn the language, I was on a mission
I wish I could’ve made my own version for you so you could understand my vision
Ambition was the key to the change in my disposition
To position us in a way that we could grow up healthy, like a physician
I became consumed my picture of a landscape, while I was living in the scene
I decided to put all the weight on my shoulders, like I was doing a clean
No wishful thinking could change my situation, so I had to take action
And more and more, our interactions became in ways a distraction
Solitary nights, frenzied crazes creating syntax from these words
And I come out of my written coma, greeted by the gospel of the birds
So in moments of gauche behavior, I told you I was through with you
But in my moments of lucid thought , I can say this had nothing to do with you
I cant look at myself, and I can barely look at you.
My loneliness turned into sadness, then the sadness into fear,
Then the fear, to an awareness I’ll never find again, what it is that we had here
And my punishments are these nights in a quiet hell, left alone
Constantly reliving the moment she told me to take care of myself, then softly hung up the phone
Instead of holding a grudge, she was sympathetic to me
Knowing that eventually I’d have to face the fact I never became who I wanted to be
She realized that alone had the capability of paralyzing me
And consciously realizing my fantazing was an unreality
Hearts are like clay, if no one touches them for long enough, they grow hard and they grow cold
And no one could reach it, mummified in a cloke of rap sheets, anxious thoughts, and personal goals
If Angels and Demons are interchangeable, its just a matter of perspective,
Then I'll have to find heaven in the hell that I've neglected.
( Asaana )
www.ChordsAZ.com