[Lyric] Diagnosis (William Gibson,Joe Raposo, & The OBC of Rag Dolly)

[MARCELLA]
I'm dying

[ANN]
Who says?

[MARCELLA]
All the doctors. I have lung troubles, spine troubles, tonsil troubles-

[ANN]
What doctors?

[MARCELLA]
The ones Poppa threw out. He says they're out of their minds

[DOCTOR 2]
WE FEAR THERE'S BROMIDROSIPHOBIA

[DOCTOR 3]
WHICH MEANS THAT THERE'S A LOBE O' YA POOR BRAIN
[DOCTOR 1]
WHICH ISN'T WORKING REALLY RIGHT

[DOCTOR 3]
COMPOUND PNEUMONOCONIOSIS

[DOCTOR 2]
LEADS TO ONLY ONE PROGNOSIS

[DOCTOR 1]
THAT SUPPOSES YOU COULD LAST 'TIL

[ALL DOCTORS]
TUESDAY NIGHT

[DOCTOR 3]
SO WE ADDRESS THE SITUATION

[DOCTOR 1]
WITH A GRAVE DELIBERATION

[DOCTOR 2]
AS PHYSICIANS, NOT MAGICIANS WHO YOU SEEK

[DOCTOR 1]
A CASE OF THROMBOCYTOPENIA AT THIS STAGE CAN ONLY MEAN YA
[DOCTOR 3]
GOT NO PADDLE

[ALL DOCTORS]
AND YOU'RE REALLY UP THE CREEK

BECAUSE YOU'RE SICK, SICK, SICK
AND YOU AIN'T GETTIN' BETTER QUICK, QUICK, QUICK
WE WOULD DO SOMETHING REALLY GOOD

[DOCTOR 1]
IF WE COULD

[DOCTOR 3]
BUT WE CAN'T

[DOCTOR 2]
AND WE WON'T

[DOCTOR 3]
SO WE'LL KEEP RIGHT ON CONSULTING

[DOCTOR 1]
PLEASE DON'T THINK THAT WE'RE INSULTING

[ALL DOCTORS]
BUT YOU'RE ILL, ILL, ILL
AND BOY, FOR US IS THAT A THRILL, THRILL, THRILL
WE'D LIKE TO HELP YA
BUT YOUR CASE IS COMPLICATED
AND WE KNOW WHEN SOMETHING'S FATED
SO RELAX, ENJOY, AND PLEASE STOP ASKING WHY
BECAUSE YOU'RE SICK, SICK, SICK
AND WE THINK YOU'RE GONNA DIE
(instrumental)

[DOCTOR 3]
A CASE OF HYDROADENOSIS

[DOCTOR 1]
THAT'S OUR MAJOR DIAGNOSIS

[DOCTOR 2]
AND HOW CLOSE IS YOUR DEMISE, WE CANNOT TELL

[DOCTOR 3]
BUT THIS RESULTS IN MELANCHOLIA

[DOCTOR 1]
AND AS WE ALREADY TOL' YA

[DOCTOR 2]
AS A WHOLE, YOU'RE REALLY DOIN' NOT SO WELL

[DOCTOR 3]
YOU'VE GOT A BAD COXSACKIE VIRUS

[DOCTOR 1]
THAT HAS NOW BEGUN TO TIRE US

[DOCTOR 2]
AND WE'VE DONE ABOUT AS MUCH AS WE CAN DO!

[DOCTOR 3]
IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YER WISHIN'

[DOCTOR 1]
GO AND CALL A GOOD MORTICIAN

[DOCTOR 2]
'CAUSE YOU'RE FADIN' FAST

[ALL DOCTORS]
AND YOU AIN'T PULLIN' THROUGH
BECAUSE YOU'RE SICK, SICK, SICK

[ANN]
SHE'S NOT!

[ALL DOCTORS]
YOUR FUTURE ISN'T WORTH A LICK, LICK, LICK

[ANN]
NO, SHE'S NOT!

[ALL DOCTORS]
AS MASTER SURGEONS WE CONFESS YOU'RE A MESS
AND WE'D LIKE TO EXPRESS
OUR CONDOLENCE TO YOUR FATHER
GAD, IT REALLY IS A BOTHER
THAT YOU'RE ILL, ILL, ILL

[ANN]
SHE'S NOT!

[ALL DOCTORS]
AND WAIT UNTIL YOU GET THE BILL, BILL, BILL

[ANN]
HE'LL NEVER PAY!

[ALL DOCTORS]
WE KNOW YOU'RE SINKIN' AND ALTHOUGH WE'RE GLAD WE MET YA
THAT OL' REAPER'S GONNA GET YA
SO WE'LL BID ADIEU AND WAVE TA-TA, GOODBYE
BECAUSE YOU'RE SICK, SICK, SICK
AND WE KNOW YOU'RE GONNA DIE!

MMMMMMMM