[Chorus: ECM]
My mind is fabricating memories because of what you did to me
Attempting to refill what your hate erased
You don't understand the things I can't unsee
So sit there for a moment as I try to build my case
[Verse 1: ECM]
I had a mind filled with life, colors, and vibrance
Then your actions came along and you defiled it
I had no way to process the violence
I didn't have a choice so I learned how to survive
Living fight or flight I was losing parts of my life
This is something you look down on, you call it trife
How can I get better when you filled my back with knives?
Now my mind is a grave and you're alright
I wrestle PTSD in dark hours of the night
You see people talking, but I see lies and a trap
You see annoyance but I see they're about to snap
You see a meal but I think I'm not worthy of that
You see a night's rest, but I see a hard test
You see your childhood, but I see the hell I withstood
You see an embrace, but I see an unsafe space
You see approval, but I see hidden dismay
Now do you see how you've set my mind in disarray?
[Chorus: ECM]
My mind is fabricating memories because of what you did to me
Attempting to refill what your hate erased
You don't understand the things I can't unsee
So sit there for a moment as I try to build my case
[Verse 2: ECM]
You don't see my struggle for breath
How every step I take is a battle with death
You don't see the tears staining my sheets
Or how my darkest nightmares are set on repeat
You don't see the joy I miss because of all my trauma and stress
While my peers are living in seeming bliss
You don't see the cycle I have to break
Coming with the endless sacrifices I have to make
You look at me and all you see is my smile
You can't see the demons I've battled for miles
You're the one I have to thank for these trials
I'm trying to write these words before the waters rise
Above my head like anxiety
'Cause these monsters live inside of me
Like the devil in my ear whisperin' lies
But I'm trapped in my mind, where am I supposed to hide?
Not in your arms, like I should be able
You turned the tables, now I have to be stable
Not only for myself but to make up for your immaturity
You've ruined my purity
I was just a kid when you made me grow up too fast
Now the only times I smile are in memories of the past
Or at least the ones not tossed in the trash
Will you ever be sorry for what you did?
Here I am trying to forgive
Without an apology
For the way you wronged me
Now let's get this over with
Bring it to an end
Like the smile you stole from my lips
So if you'll excuse me, I have a therapy session
I need to attend
[Chorus: ECM]
My mind is fabricating memories because of what you did to me
Attempting to refill what your hate erased
You don't understand the things I can't unsee
So what will you do with your conscience now that I have built my case?
My mind is fabricating memories because of what you did to me
Attempting to refill what your hate erased
You don't understand the things I can't unsee
So sit there for a moment as I try to build my case
[Verse 1: ECM]
I had a mind filled with life, colors, and vibrance
Then your actions came along and you defiled it
I had no way to process the violence
I didn't have a choice so I learned how to survive
Living fight or flight I was losing parts of my life
This is something you look down on, you call it trife
How can I get better when you filled my back with knives?
Now my mind is a grave and you're alright
I wrestle PTSD in dark hours of the night
You see people talking, but I see lies and a trap
You see annoyance but I see they're about to snap
You see a meal but I think I'm not worthy of that
You see a night's rest, but I see a hard test
You see your childhood, but I see the hell I withstood
You see an embrace, but I see an unsafe space
You see approval, but I see hidden dismay
Now do you see how you've set my mind in disarray?
[Chorus: ECM]
My mind is fabricating memories because of what you did to me
Attempting to refill what your hate erased
You don't understand the things I can't unsee
So sit there for a moment as I try to build my case
[Verse 2: ECM]
You don't see my struggle for breath
How every step I take is a battle with death
You don't see the tears staining my sheets
Or how my darkest nightmares are set on repeat
You don't see the joy I miss because of all my trauma and stress
While my peers are living in seeming bliss
You don't see the cycle I have to break
Coming with the endless sacrifices I have to make
You look at me and all you see is my smile
You can't see the demons I've battled for miles
You're the one I have to thank for these trials
I'm trying to write these words before the waters rise
Above my head like anxiety
'Cause these monsters live inside of me
Like the devil in my ear whisperin' lies
But I'm trapped in my mind, where am I supposed to hide?
Not in your arms, like I should be able
You turned the tables, now I have to be stable
Not only for myself but to make up for your immaturity
You've ruined my purity
I was just a kid when you made me grow up too fast
Now the only times I smile are in memories of the past
Or at least the ones not tossed in the trash
Will you ever be sorry for what you did?
Here I am trying to forgive
Without an apology
For the way you wronged me
Now let's get this over with
Bring it to an end
Like the smile you stole from my lips
So if you'll excuse me, I have a therapy session
I need to attend
[Chorus: ECM]
My mind is fabricating memories because of what you did to me
Attempting to refill what your hate erased
You don't understand the things I can't unsee
So what will you do with your conscience now that I have built my case?
( The Abstract Pearl )
www.ChordsAZ.com