[Lyric] ​gwiffins here rain mix (the garages)

[Intro: Spoken]
(What? Oh)

[Verse 1]
Gwiffin's here
If you need a guy who knows a guy, it's
Crystal clear
He'll show up late, but there's no escape, 'cause
Gwiffin's here
Spouting gwisdoms, smoking bad pot
Have no fear
He'll take the fall, 'cause he's lost it all anyway

[Chorus]
He spreads his wings and
Claws his way to second base, but
He comes up short, like
Every time he comes up at all
Cabbage man
Does the best he can
Cabbage man
The kids won't understand
[Verse 2]
Gwiffin's here
Clogging up your podcast feed with
His trademark sneer
Because everything's too loud for our boy
Gwiffy Greer
Will he ever learn how to
Be sincere?
We don't think so, but we love him anyway

[Chorus]
He spreads his wings and
Claws his way to second base, but
He comes up short, like
Every time he comes up at all
Cabbage man
Does the best he can
Cabbage man
The kids won't understand

[Bridge]
On your couch or
On the field, he's
He's a real hoot
And we still believe
On your couch or
On the field, he's
He's a real hoot
And we still believe
[Chorus]
He spreads his wings and
Claws his way to second base, but
He comes up short, like
Every time he comes up at all
Cabbage man
Does the best he can
Cabbage man
The kids won't understand
The kids won't understand
The kids won't understand