[Lyric] Hello (Jim Fortune, Rufus Norris, Kat Ronney, Michael Elcock, Rosalie Craig, Tamsin Carroll, Ensemble)

[spoken]
[Rose]
Hi
[Fairy]
hi
[Bert]
hi
[Bert and Rose]
hello

[Rose]
Did you just kiss me?
[Fairy, whispering to Bert]
Yes
[Bert, echoing Fairy]
yes
[Rose]
Is it my birthday?
[Fairy]
Yes!
[Bert]
yes!
[Rose]
Are you my present?
[Fairy]
Yes!
[Bert]
yes -No!
[Rose]
oh
Well anyway, hi
[Fairy]
hi
[Bert]
hi
[Rose and Bert]
hello


[Rose]
Where did you come from and how did you get here?
And who let you in? did you come here to rescue me!
-or were you just passing by -
[Bert]
-I don't know

[Rose]
Well anyway, hi
[Fairy]
hi
[Bert]
hi
[Rose and Bert]
hello
[Rose]
Hi
[Fairy]
hi
[Bert]
hi
[Rose and Bert]
hello
[Rose]
'cos if it's my birthday I'm finally sixteen
And if you're a present then who are you from?
'cos I doubt that my mum and dad - where are my mum and dad?
Where are the guards - they're always here somewhere
Or did you sneak pass them? are you a burglar?
How totally brilliant! I'll show you were everything is
Just so long as you steal me as well (cos I quite like the look of you)
- why don't you shut up ! by 'you' I mean 'me'
I mean why don't I shut up, why do I keep talking
And why is your hand on my thigh?
[Bert]
-I don't know

[Rose]
Well anyway, hi
[Fairy]
hi
[Bert]
hi
[Rose and Bert]
hello
[Rose]
Hi
[Fairy]
hi
[Bert]
hi
[Rose and Bert]
Hello, hello, hell-o!
[Fairy celebrating]
Yes!
[Rose]
Who is that person?
[Fairy]
where?
[Bert, echoing Fairy]
where?
[Rose]
Why is she hiding?
[Fairy]
Who?
[Bert, echoing Fairy]
Who?
[Rose]
Is she your mother?
[Bert]
My mother!

Well anyway bye
[Fairy]
What?!
[Bert]
I've got to go
[Rose]
What?! wait, why?
[Bert]
Well- ya know
[Rose and Fairy]
no

[Bert]
My mum will be worried
[Fairy]
-it's you that is worried
[Bert]
I mean she'll be scared
[Fairy]
-you're the one who is scared
[Bert]
Do I look like a scared kind of guy?
[Rose]
Yes and no

[Fairy]
Well anyway bye
[Bert]
what?
[Fairy]
you've got to go!
[Bert]
oh
[Fairy]
So let's go if we're going - it was nice to have met you
And now we'll just leave - and he'll prob'ly forget you
And run to his mum
[Bert]
-that's a lie
[Fairy]
-even so!
Well anyway
[Rose]
Who are you anyway?
[Fairy]
I'm just his auntie
[Bert]
-Yeah she's just my auntie, she showed me the way here
And she made me kiss you
[Fairy]
-We're sorry to wake you, we'll leave you to sleep
[Rose]
Yes well now I'm awake!
[Fairy]
Yes
[Rose]
if she made you kiss me then didn't you want to?
[Bert]
Well no - I mean yes, in a-
[Rose]
-didn't you like it?
[Bert]
Well no I mean-
[Rose]
-'no'!
[Bert]
I mean yes!
[Fairy]
You said 'no'
[Bert]
Well I don't really know as I've never been kissed before
[Rose]
Well neither have I, but I think it was nice -
[Bert]
-oh well yes so do I
I mean quite -
[Fairy]
-only quite?
[Bert]
I mean yes it was nice
[Rose]
No you don't have to lie
[Bert]
-I'm not lying
[Rose]
-you lie!
[Bert]
Well I'm not - what I mean
[Rose]
-what you mean is you're going
[Bert]
No I'm not - well I am. But the kiss was a really good kiss
[Fairy]
You said 'quite'
[Bert]
yes I did
[Rose]
yes you did!
[Bert]
What I mean
[Fairy]
-What you mean is that-
[Bert]
-Why don't you shut up!
By 'you' I mean 'her'. All that I mean is - I can't quite remember
[Rose]
Then why don't you give it another go!
[Fairy]
-Nice and slow!

[Rose]
Well anyway, hi
[Bert, high pitched]
hi, hello
[Bert normal]
Hi
[Rose]
Hi!
[Rose and Bert]
Hello, hello, hell-o


[Fairy, spoken to self and celebrating]
Who is the best! Who is the best !-
A shower of flowers for this happy hour!
[Bert and Rose sing together]
He-e-llo
[Fairy]
-What?
[Bert and Rose]
He-e-llo
[Fairy]
-still no power!
[Rose]
Hello
[Bert]
Hello, he-e-llo
[Fairy]
-why?!
[Rose, to the first entering prince]
Hello!
[Entering Prince]
hello!
[Bert]
hello
[Prince Ensemble as they each individually wake up/find themselves into Rose's castle]
hello?
[Rose and Bert becoming concerned]
he-e-llo
[Individual Members of Prince Ensemble]
Hello?
hello?
hey-hey!
[Rose and Bert steadily more concerned continue]
He-e-llo
[Prince Ensemble]
hello!
hello!
hello
[Rose and Bert]
He-e-llo
[Single Prince voice]
hello, hello!
[Rose almost fearful]
Hello!
[Prince Ensemble echoing back]
hello
[Bert]
hello
[Rose]
he-e-llo
Hello!
[Rose and Bert]
he-e-llo
[Rose]
hello
[All Princes]
hello!
H-e-llo!
[Single Prince]
hello!

[All]
Ah-ah-aha
Ah-ah-aha
Ah-ah-aha
Ah-ah-aha
Hello!
Hell-o!

[Ogress, spoken]
Teatime Bertie! Millipede!

[All]
Hello! hello! hell-o!

[Fairy, spoken]
Shit