[Lyric] I Cried (Dende)

[Chorus]
Sometimes I cry
When I just can't seem to find
A distraction from my mind
Man, some hills ain't meant to climb
I don't like that sometimes I cry
When I just can't seem to find
A distraction from my life
Man, some wars, you just can't fight
I don't like that sometimes I

[Verse 1]
Get a little bit ahead of myself
Boy, thought I was winnin', but I hadn't started, I'm still
Stuck right at the startin' line
While they wishin' me well
I might as well be throwin' my life savings in a wishing well
I'm well aware they love me like they family
Everybody favorite cousin
But its hard to take the love in when rеciprocation doesn't happen for yourself
Dеmons been tellin' me that I'm useless since when I was 12
12 years a slave to the pressure, pessimistic happy male
Self hatred come in waves and I can't fight it
Writin' songs to find distraction been my copin' mechanism
For longest when I write, it's like I'm Midas, I'm a titan
But when 'lone wit' all my thoughts, I wanna ball up in the tightest fuckin' ball
I tried to run before I crawl
Protect my energy, don't answer when you call, uh
Seclude myself, don't wanna talk, uh
[Chorus]
'Cause sometimes I cry
When I just can't seem to find
A distraction from my mind
Man, some hills ain't meant to climb
I don't like that sometimes I cry
When I just can't seem to find
A distraction from my life
Man, some wars, you just can't fight
I don't like that sometimes I

[Verse 2]
Lose my cool before I find myself
I had to take a few steps back 'fore I self destructed and, boy, it helped
Been locked inside my mind so long that COVID was nothin' new
It's just an excuse to be elusive to the people that get used to suckin' out all my aura
But the tradeoff is I'm stuck wit' all my thoughts
And that's a horror story waitin' to happen
My demon hates me and it's for a good reason
Sometimes I reminisce on times when writin' songs would follow bleedin'
Man, I hated me, couldn't care 'bout you
I know the reason, but its no excuse
Just picture bein in my shoes
A black boy, bi, but couldn’t face the truth
I numbed the pain wit' liquor, dank, start poppin' pills when tolerance was through
Abomination, I ain't need no proof
Daddy a preacher so my mind was swayed before I grew
Into a man with my own thoughts, a sin'll win a trip to hell
So I ain't tell even myself, but deep down, boy, I knew
And sometimes I cried