[Lyric] I Wrote A Letter To You (CJ Anfernee)

[Verse 1]:
Dear senior, I wrote a letter to you
In music form, but I don't know if that'll be clever to you
But that's the form of intimacy that I had to build myself
That I use to heal myself from all the pain killing my health
Of course at an early age, I been clocking your absence
The hate for your side of the family was passed on to me to practice
Children should never bear the brunt when "partners" turn to past tense
Cuz then they grow to repeat the cycle, so let's unpack this
Momma raised me up with stories
Unbecoming of a man on his way to his forties
The fact they were used in threats did nothing for my worries
So I figured living with her could result in a bunch of hunky dories
Now I ain't saying I deserved to be spoiled, but she could spare the rod, the hands, the machete a lil more
But I was there for her. Tried her best to hold it down as the mother AND the father? That was more than just a chore
While you were courting whores, I hope the cost of me wasn't too much to add to all the bills that your tricking paid
Huh, a player father and abusive mother. It's either fight or flight cuz I might be the reincarnation of Ike
I know my worth, taking nobody's shit, that's exactly what your ex enabled in the son she made
But as much as I'm thankful for the person I am, I can't deny a part of me wondered what life would be like

[Hook]:
Growing up in a house (with my father)
Roaming around and about (with my father)
Dunking like kings of the courts (with my father)
All I learned was how to live without the deadbeat from young, never bothered to decipher the conflict (with my father)
All I knew was Momma through (with my father)
Wondered if I'd turn out to be just like (my father)
Then I became a man, with a mind of my own
[Verse 2]:
You smell the weed on my shirt, and say I'm a street dealer
You clearly don't know me, life requires more to be a "real nigga"
No daddy to discipline, you think the block deserve my presence
The streets kill you, even if they love you with a deep reverence
Been through a lot, but I made it through
I grew up in houses fighting, my features let you know I don't play
I learned the aspects of a man from everybody but you
So if I'm asking what your viewpoint is, what would you say?
Would you question my crew? The kinda sports that I play?
The hobbies that I'm into? How many hoes I display?
Is my weapon on my side? Is my Cuban link fraud?
Will I protect and provide? Am I devoted to God?
All this time I been mocking you cuz you couldn't stand a fight
When really that much abuse is enough to not reunite
So let's agree that taking accountability's a start
Cuz I can't go any further with resentment in my heart
So I forgive you for your mistakes and your flaws
I'm sorry we never built a better rapport
I'm sorry for jeering at you in "Gender Wars"
Too slow to realize there was so much to explore

[Outro]:
Having these conversations (with my father)
Unpacking that mutual trauma (with my father)
I vow to never harbor ill will towards (my father)
I pray I celebrate another day with (my father, again)