Halitophobia: the irrational fear of bad breath. I'm a halitophobic. I'm not, so much, afraid of me having bad breath. I'm afraid of other people having bad breath. As in, "Hey, buddy: your breath smells like crap!" Maybe you should develop a case of halitophobia.
Now I know what you're asking: "How do we know if we have bad breath?" You use this. Use a spoon.
Now I know what you're thinking. A spoon? You eat with a spoon, you play spoons, you spoon your girlfriend. You take the spoon and [unintelligible]. You take the spoon, and you stick it at the back of your tongue and gently scrape, let it dry, and take a whiff. If it stinks, your breath stinks. And if your breath stinks, this is the only kind of spooning you're going to be getting.
The smart viewer out there will note: to check your bad breath, you noticed that we checked our tongue. 90% of bad breath comes from bacteria and residue on the tongue. On your tongue. Now your mom doesn't sound so stupid for telling you to brush your tongue now, does she?
Tongues are like sponges, soaking up all that bacteria. Toothbrushes are meant to clean the smooth services of your teeth, not your tongue. And the tongue scraper? You remember the sponge, right? The tongue scraper just goes over the top of your tongue. This ain't going to work. And mouthwash? This is like trying to clean your carpet with a hose. You're just watering down the problem.
And then, there's the option that actually works: this. The OraBrush. The soft bristles feel great on your tongue. You just go back and forth a few times, then go all the way back, pull it forward, and see what comes off. It's the cure to bad breath. You can use this longer than your toothbrush.
Use it in the morning. Eliminate morning breath. Fresh breath all day. And then use it at night, right before bed. You know what I'm talking about.
So do you, and me, and the rest of mankind a favor: get one of these. And your Uncle Steve? The one who looks like he's got a thick coat of fur on his tongue? Get him one too, put it in his Christmas stocking. He'll thank you for it later. His wife will, the kids will, everybody will be happier. Trust me.
Now I know what you're asking: "How do we know if we have bad breath?" You use this. Use a spoon.
Now I know what you're thinking. A spoon? You eat with a spoon, you play spoons, you spoon your girlfriend. You take the spoon and [unintelligible]. You take the spoon, and you stick it at the back of your tongue and gently scrape, let it dry, and take a whiff. If it stinks, your breath stinks. And if your breath stinks, this is the only kind of spooning you're going to be getting.
The smart viewer out there will note: to check your bad breath, you noticed that we checked our tongue. 90% of bad breath comes from bacteria and residue on the tongue. On your tongue. Now your mom doesn't sound so stupid for telling you to brush your tongue now, does she?
Tongues are like sponges, soaking up all that bacteria. Toothbrushes are meant to clean the smooth services of your teeth, not your tongue. And the tongue scraper? You remember the sponge, right? The tongue scraper just goes over the top of your tongue. This ain't going to work. And mouthwash? This is like trying to clean your carpet with a hose. You're just watering down the problem.
And then, there's the option that actually works: this. The OraBrush. The soft bristles feel great on your tongue. You just go back and forth a few times, then go all the way back, pull it forward, and see what comes off. It's the cure to bad breath. You can use this longer than your toothbrush.
Use it in the morning. Eliminate morning breath. Fresh breath all day. And then use it at night, right before bed. You know what I'm talking about.
So do you, and me, and the rest of mankind a favor: get one of these. And your Uncle Steve? The one who looks like he's got a thick coat of fur on his tongue? Get him one too, put it in his Christmas stocking. He'll thank you for it later. His wife will, the kids will, everybody will be happier. Trust me.
( OraBrush )
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