[Lyric] Look Mommy Im a Rockstar/ Shut Your Face Grandma (Impractical Jokers)

[Intro (spoken)]

Q: Ladies and gentlemen... get on your feet. Brace yourselves for the greatest live band you've ever seen...
MURR: Are you ready for Senora Lonza??

Q: Get out there, Senora Lonza!

JOE: There's so many drums...
SAL: Hey everybody, how you doing? Alright, very cool. We're, uh, very happy to be here... Opening for the Imagination Dragons. Imagination Dragons? I got it wrong, Imagine Dragons, isn't it?
JOE: Uh...
SAL: Alright
Q: I put in your pants pocket a dedication for the set. Open it up and read it
SAL: So, uh, guys, I just wrote a very very special dedication, and I hope you guys appreciate it. The dedication goes like this: guys, we'd like to dedicate this out to the people... To the people of Pittsburgh

MURR: We're in Long Island!

SAL: They were the best audience we ever played for. We can already tell you guys aren't gonna be nearly as good!
JOE: You're no Pittsburgh
SAL: We're gonna play a few songs from our upcoming album... Oh boy...
JOE: This is... This is, uh, one of our favorites
[Song 1: Look Mommy, I'm a Rockstar]

SAL:
When I was a boy
I was young
I was lookin' bad
Son of a gun
I said "look mommy, I'm a rockstar"

JOE:
Rockstar!

SAL:
I said "look mommy, I'm a rockstar"
I said "look mommy, I'm a rockstar"
Let's go!

[Intermission (spoken)]

MURR: Alright, the next song on our album is a capella
SAL: Next song from our album is a capella
MURR: And the name of it is "Shut Your Face, Grandma"
SAL: The name of it is "Shut Your Face, Grandma"

[Song 2: Shut Your Face, Grandma]
JOE:
Bum, bum, bum, bum

SAL:
She's my grandma, she's my grandma

SAL and JOE:
And she doesn't shut her trap
She doesn't shut her trap

SAL:
I take it for five minutes
But after six I say...

SAL and JOE:
Shut your face, grandma!
Shut your god damn face!
Shut your face, grandma!
Shut your god damn face!

SAL:
Shut your face, grandma!

[Intermission (spoken)]

DAN REYNOLDS: Yell out "drum solo"
JOE: Drum solo! (Joe plays badly on his drums)
DAN REYNOLDS: Say it again!
JOE: Drum solo!
DAN REYNOLDS: Start trying to do the worm!
SAL: Aw, f--- me man. (Sal gets down and does the worm on stage)
(Joe starts pounding on his drums again)
JOE: I got your back, buddy, I'm givin' ya a beat!
DAN REYNOLDS: Try to stage dive!
(Sal stands up and hesitates, but eventually jumps into the crowd. Nobody tries to catch him.)
JOE: Thank you and good night!