[Lyric] Once Upon A Time In 2018 (TT17)

[Intro]
Once upon a time in 2018
I had this one class, 3rd period Spanish
I had one person there for me, Daniel Zaragoza
One person there for me
Everyone else? I got bullied as a sophomore
I got bullied like
Wow
I had one person there for me
He’s actually right here to my right, right now
Still there for me
I don’t know
This is my story from 2018
Appreciate the love now

[Verse]
“
I’ve been up lately
Thinkin’ , my life’s crazy
Thinkin’ , what made me?
What made me?
Yeah
What made me wanna go down and go and crawl and die?
What made me feel disgusted when I look at my own eyes?
What made me talk to people and I feel the need to bribe?
What made me wanna lay down and re-do my whole life?
I’ve been grindin’ for a minute, and I still feel the same!
I look into the mirror, and I feel so damn ashamed!
My head is so twisted from playin’ all these games!
No hope remains
I’m so done with it all
I’m just waitin’ for the day that a girl texts or calls
Tells me “I’m the one” , she can be my bae for fall
But by winter, she’ll probably get sick of me
Tell me that we’re done , and I’ll punch another wall
My mind’s full of rage, yet, somedays, I’m peaceful
Some days, I like flowers, and others? I feel lethal
Maybe that’s a little far, but so’s my mental health
I wanna think I’m okay, but I think I need some help
I wanna be an alpha, but I feel so insecure
Everything is gonna go away, I think I’m sure
Some days I wanna quit, and, I just wan’ leave earth
5 months ago, I really knew my worth!
And now I feel so empty! There ain’t a time I did feel worse
Any bad thoughts you had? I probably had them first!
I can’t look my Mom in her eye and tell her how I really feel
It would change her thoughts on me
I’m always tryin’ to appeal
But, somedays I need, I need a person to love
God, if You hear me, can I please just see a dove?
I just need a sign that won’t make me go insane
Because, how my life is goin’ , this pain ain’t goin’ away
I’m just havin’ thoughts that “I just ‘wan be dead again”
Or better yet, maybe I should rid these thoughts that in my head
“I wan’ be dead”
No! Then who will run the rap game up?
It’s my time up
Girls ‘gon hear this and ‘gon say wassup
I know sometimes I write and write and ramble on
Maybe that’s what happens when you wish your pain was gone
Maybe that’s what happens when attention’s drawn
Towards every single step you take, all I do is wrong!
All i do is wrong, and to be honest, I’m so sick of it
I can’t please anyone, swear to me, my life’s ridiculous
Open up about my life? I swear, I never miss with this
Depression hit me hard again, are you even listenin’ ?
Are you even at this part of the track?
Don’t you ever wish you could go 5 years back?
Don’t you ever wish you could run away from pain, but be looked at the same?
And never feel the same?
Don’t you ever wake up, and realize who you’re meant to be?
But, you’re damaged mentally
I swear, these days are testin’ me
I’m feelin’ less of me
And more of who I wanna be
Ironically, that person ain’t who I am
Monopoly
Look at my songs, I’m lyrically great!
Look at my life, what is my fate?
Look at old pics, look at my face!
I used to he happy, look at my face!
Look at my face, and let’s see if I’m happy!
I wanna wake up and make a livin’ in rappin’ !
I’m not projectin’
My life’s just a mess and I wanna make it so my life’s a blessin’ !
I wanna do a show, I wanna jump into the crowd
Maybe turn it up with the boys at Rolling Loud?
Wake up in Calabasas with a girl from the town?
Highlights, the high life, I’m never goin’ down!
“