[Lyric] Pathetic (KSG-15)

[Intro]
Ever wondered why everything is so messed up in your life
And everything is just wrong n you know you're reason for it but don't know what to do

[Verse 1]
Real album starts now, this is Sujit speaking
King's dead for now, he is buried deep in
For years my mind was thrown so far deep end
Schizophrenia was so real we didn't pretend
Let's go deeper and think about how did it start
What got me fucked up ? What was that part?
Was it then? when I had my head broken in park?
Or way before when boogey man took me in dark
Or
My mom said when I was baby, barely three months
My father took me n ran away without any reason
She came n fought for me, as I was her sweet son
Got me back, man she didn't give up on me, not once
Why am I still rude to her, when her kids are her life
I was throwing my life away when nothing was right
I never knew what mother son, connection is like
Still she'll protect me when I'm scared in the night
[Hook]
I know I was messed up, my mind was always crossed
I can't control my life , I need to take a pause
Arrogant, Ungrateful I'm ashamed of who I was
I beg for forgiveness, for all the pain that I've caused

[Verse 2]
So I'm a big boy now, I can walk n run
There's this doctor, he wants some fun
He said bring something from kitchen, like bombs n guns
Then everything went black, I was lost n numb
Exposed to things which i never should have seen
It consumed my life, like dope To a fiend
Movies' adult scenes, cuties on the screen
Everything on my mind And Nudies in my dream
Lot for a child to go through all crap
If I go to past ,man, I would just fall back
Save myself from the misery, and all that small trap
I wish I was a normal kid whatever you call that
Whatever happened to me, makes me do things
Makes me abuse myself, everything you think
Makes me cut, drink, punch, makes me shoot me
Sometimes I go n hurt people close to me, suits me

[Hook]
I know I was messed up, my mind was always crossed
I can't control my life , I need to take a pause
Arrogant, Ungrateful I'm ashamed of who I was
I beg for forgiveness, for all the pain that I've caused
[Verse 3]
Lift my shirt, n you can see the stab bruises
All the back stabbing, makes my life confusin'
Wouldn't be surprised, if someone adds new sets
Just Another betrayal in life of Mr. Sujit
Shit I always wonder why everyone leaves me
Everyone uses me, whenever they need me
I need some friends n no one believes me
Using n throwing people is it so easy ?
Begged them to stay, with no self respect
Cuz I was scared to be alone in this darkest place
One more stab in my back and this time I'm done for
Would have nothing to live for, why I got this gun for
Boom headshot, headshot without scream
If I die right now this is bye bye to my dreams
I'm sorry for always saying things I never mean
Evil side has to die, I'm tired of who I've been

[Hook]
I know I was messed up, my mind was always crossed
I can't control my life , I need to take a pause
Arrogant, Ungrateful I'm ashamed of who I was
I beg for forgiveness, for all the pain that I've caused

[Outro]
I know I was never perfect. I know I've hurt my friends, my family, my brothers, my sisters, my girlfriend too... How many times.... I know !
I know I was never okay ... I know... i just ...
Shit ....
I'm sorry, I'm trying to change !