[Lyric] Rap Battle: Translated (Hydrogen and Boost)

[Hydrogen: Statement 1]
Good evening. I would like to begin by introducing myself. My name is Hydrogen and I come from a low income neighborhood where life is not very comfortable. I've stolen many things, and have been involved in many altercations, most of which have ended in gunfire. In addition to this, I've had sexual intercourse with a great number of the opposite sex. In contrast, and despite the lack of legitimate evidence, I believe you to have been in a involved in a number of homosexual activities. Activities I, and my companions, look down upon. I am so much stronger than you, and my powers of rhetoric are so much greater than yours that you can employ an army of some sort to aid in your fight with me; but I would of course prevail because I am stronger than you. I'm sure I needn't remind you of my place of birth wherein, as as I've explained before, the living conditions are much worse than in your aforementioned city of residence. I would like to stop here for a moment and remind you that I am in fact orating with little or no prior preparation, an act commonly referred to as "freestyling." Once again, and I think this bears repeating, I would like to restate my claim that I am, in fact, much stronger, and have endured a larger number of hardships than you. Hardships which have left me with an aggressive behavior and an imposing demeanor which I believe frightens you. I know of a woman with whom you have had sexual intercourse. I, too, have had sexual intercourse with said woman and she complained to me of your less than exemplary performance in bed. She went on to explain to me in graphic details the dimensions and particulars of your genitals; and I tell you what she said was not very generous, Sir. In conclusion, I would like to leave you with a brief summary of my argument: you sir are a weak, timid and untrustworthy homosexual. The city in which you live is not nearly as difficult to live in, nor is it in such a high state of disrepair as mine. I am superior monologist in this debate, and any claim to the contrary will result in physical violence and perhaps even death.

[Boost: Statement 2]
And a good day to you too, Sir. I would like to rebut your previous claims in a improvisational and rhythmic manner. I was given the name "Boost" by my peers. The alleged facts you have uncovered in regards to me are unfounded and without merit. My birthplace is not only vastly inferior to yours, but my neighbors are also much more resilient. In terms to your claim of my sexuality: Sigmund Freud theorized that, in some cases, the semiconscious mind manifests repressed desires therefore leading me to believe that you, Sir, are indeed the homosexual. In fact, I once had a romantic rendezvous with your biological mother; in which fellatio was performed forthwith and without explanation. The encounter lasted several hours and many unspeakable acts were implemented. I paid her for her services and no subsequent contact, either verbal or physically, has been made. I brandish a 9 millimeter pistol which I stole from a man involved in a gang related turf war. I fired the pistol several times and in some cases critically wounded those with whom I was in contest with. I would like to inform the audience that I engage in the sale and consumption of illegal narcotics on a regular basis. Speaking candidly; I am in no form intimidated or fearful of your actions as I have been involved in countless altercations which have ended less than favorably. In summation, your argument denotes a lack of intellectual honestly on your part. It is my contention that this matter would best be solved with fisticuffs. I believe I will be victorious in this regard.

[Intellectual elevator music]