[Lyric] Sidekicks (Ron Koertge)

They were never handsome and often came
With a hormone imbalance manifested by corpulence
A yodel of a voice or ears big as kidneys

But each was brave. More than once a sidekick
Has thrown himself in front of our hero in order
To receive the bullet or blow meant for that
Perfect face and body

Thankfully, heroes never die in movies and leave
The sidekick alone. He would not stand for it
Gabby or Pat, Pancho or Andy remind us of a part
Of ourselves

The dependent part that can never grow up
The part that is painfully eager to please
Always wants a hug and never gets enough

Who could sit in a darkened theatre, listen
To the organ music and watch the best
Of ourselves lowered into the ground while
The rest stood up there, tears pouring off
That enormous nose