[Lyric] The Tale of a Lonely Man/Elementary (Mr. Stegosaurus)

[Intro]
He sits alone on the shore thinking of her face
When across the lake, a silhouette takes shape
As it gets nearer, it becomes clear that it is his soul
That has grown old, tired and blear
Staring in his own eyes, he's not surprised to see blue skies
There to disguise his wretched life
He sits and he waits, dreaming of the day his love will come
His knees growing progressively numb
He's spеnt his time on them and it's taken its toll
Sеnding the prayers up though it's not in his control
And he's asking himself
"Is it really worth it if by the time it flourishes, I'm gray and I'm old?"

[Intro Extended]
Listen up losers. Today you'll hear the story of how I despised, fell in love, and then was forced to leave my first girlfriend. Life happens. So if you do have a significant other, let them know how much you love them because I will be seeing them tonight, and they will be leaving you after they're introduced to my Millimeter Peter. Just like Mac Miller says, "That's life. Whatcha gonna do?"

[Verse 1]
Up early watching Dora
Before we hop in the explorer
On the way to see Ms. Laura
Got my lunch and I wore a
John Cena shirt with Spongebob on the backpack
I'll be the coolest kid in school, I don't need a snapback
Walk into the class cool, calm and collected
The kids they went hectic just as expected
Put down their books and then I was met with
A bunch of wild fans, got the technique perfected
"Ok class, settle down. Seat assignments."
You didn't hear a sound, not a peep, all was silent
The bad thing about the second day of second grade was
We all had to sit only where the teacher made us
"Ok and Bart, you'll be sitting next to Becky."
My heartbeat quickened, did I hear her correctly?
"Sit by a girl? I'll pass. No thank you
What if she touch me? That's something I can't do."
I'm shaking, I'm scared "Please don't make me get paired
With the girl with long hair." I can feel all the stares
"What if she shares her cooties through the air?
I mean this is unfair. Can I sit over there?
I'll even do dares. I won't pick truth, I swear
And I'll move anywhere except for next to Blair
The boys will declare that we are getting married
And that is forever until you are buried!"
[Verse 2]
It's 5th grade now, running with the same crowd
Still got Becky in my class but it's ok now
In 3rd grade she came up to me, explained how
She liked my clothes, handwriting and my brain power
Back to the present day, I think it's time to orchestrate
A pretty formal date, asked her in the normal way
"Do you wanna date me? Check yes or no."
Pass the note, next thing you know I got a hand to hold
It's McDonald's night, the time was right
I got a 10 in my pocket, feeling like I might
Just buy everything in sight, "Give me like 10 Sprites
But hold the ice. I'm feeling kinda wild tonight."
I got crazy, the Sprites made me go full zany
All of a sudden I got the swagger and cool of Jay-Z
I found Becky, went up to her and said "Ooh lady
You do make me look like kind of a fool lately."
We danced the night away, the Sprite keeping us wide awake
We didn't even try to fake as kids were coming by our way
Right away you could see the joy that lies inside our face
It never died away until we had to say goodbye that day
She wasn't just my girlfriend, she made my world spin
She's my first best friend, she taught me many lessons
Don't take for granted what you have on this planet
Cuz in a flash it could vanish and leave you lonely and stranded
And now I'm stranded, all alone floating in the Atlantic
So much for tryna be a romantic
Your wish can't be granted, you'll end up abandoned
[Outro]
Yeah. Sidenote: this was the year, the 3rd grade year, that um- this white girl said the N word during the talent show so