[Lyric] The Worst I Ever Had Drake parody (Chink Money)

Hook:
I should be through with all the drinking
Cuz when I do, I get to thinking
Maybe she'll do, at least for the weekend
But then I sober up and that's when it sinks in
Girl you make me gag every time I smell your breath
It's like coffee, dog shit, and cigarettes
I got this tattoo, it says "No Regrets"
But every time I hook up with you
I say you a fuckin mess, you a fuckin mess
You a fuckin mess, you a fuckin mess
You're the worst I ever had, worst I ever had
Worst I ever had, worst I ever had

Damn man I should've stayed sober
Last night you Meagan Good, this morning Whoopi Goldberg
Princess Fiona just turned into an ogre
You walk around with no shirt, damn that's just vulgar
Shit! I must've drank myself retarded
How the hell did I just walk into waters that were uncharted
Darted to the front door but this cockwhore just locked it
Dropped the key in her Dockers back pocket
Talkin bout "baby where you think you going?"
Tried to play it off like "babe I think your lawn needs mowing"
She said it ain't growing but give it some time
She used her own fecal matter to keep it fertilized
I threw up in my mouth at the thought of the sight
And told her I had to go and I would call her goodnight
She yelled "you ain't gonna leave me like the last man did"
She grabbed a pistol, now I'm stranded at this mad bitch' crib, uh
Hook

Damn I got involved with the wrong bitch
Full blown alcoholic, always begging for raw dick
48 waist, swearing that them little draws fit
Did you forget to flush? Is that a Whatchamacallit?
Floating in the toilet
Crying over spilled milk when you already spoiled it
Came up in the kitchen, what you cooking? I smell garlic
Gave you a hug and realized it was your armpits
Aw shit, now I'm disgusted
Yellow ass smile, yeah ya teeth look like mustard
Hairy ass bush like "look I just brushed it"
And when we out in public my friends say "she's busted!"
Yeah, but you were cute when I was wasted
At least I think so cuz my memory erased it
Maybe replaced it, went to a happy place with
Negligee models that can't wait to get naked

Hook