We are about to get extremely seriously together
And I know our lives are gonna get so much better
But first we should come clean and just be honest with each other
That's what I learned from the most important person in my life, my mother
We both have secrets and things we're not proud of I believe it's true
And it's best to talk about them now for me and you
'Cuz this relationship should be built on honеsty
And we don't want old stuff to come and hunt us when wе're family
Agree?
I sometimes text with my ex-girlfriend just because we're friends
But if you don't want me to speak with her, I'll make sure it ends
I can be somewhat untidy and sometimes I make a mess
But if you ask "Do I look good in this dress?"
I will say, "Yes."
I only eat spaghetti, hamburgers, and pizza
I have a picture of me leaning against the crooked tower of Pisa
If I do not pluck my eyebrows they will grow to one
I know the entire lyrics to Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On"
I squeeze the mayonnaise tube right here in the middle
I forget the toilet seat, and Ringo is my favorite Beatle
I have every episode of "Teen mom" on my PVR
And I collect all of my toenails in this jar
I have a dream to one day become a famous superstar
And there's a homeless man named Greg that is living in my car
Hope this doesn't scare you away from us two becoming one
'Cuz we'll gave a lot of love
And this crappy song
Wow, that's lot to process. I didn't know... There is a Greg in your car? Well, I appreciate the honesty. So...
I have a diamond jeweled pink iPhone encasement
Chronic flatulence and a boy in my basement
If I drink I turn sexist and I can be a prick
But I will try my utmost not to be like that, now suck my dick
I sometimes cry when I watch a super duper touching movie
I punch my cat and I think that Nickelback is super groovy
I've had like fifty girlfriends before we met each other
Let's say like fifty-one, if we include your mother
I have so many things on my heart that I gotta say
I hate laughter, and your sex face makes me sort of gay
I know it's harsh but honesty, that is what I'm all about
I don't eject the USB before I plug it out
Sometimes I swap babies in the hospital just for fun
And right now under here, I'm pointing at you with loaded gun
I hope you still want to be my one
'Cuz we'll have a lot of love
And this crappy song!
I don't know if I can...
I am a wizard and my best friend is a goose named Peter
Sometimes I wet the bed, but mainly I am a bed shitter
If I get bored I pay my twin brother to hang with you
Actually I am him right now, hello my name is Stu
I have a family of martians hiding in my attic
My dad's also my uncle-brother and I am a 1D fanatic
I was a she, but took a sex change just to be with you
I have 11 pairs of crocks and a YOLO tattoo
I sometimes breastfeed sleeping hobos, then I run away
I stole the "Z" from crazy, so that we could just say cray
I might look young, but I am 120 years
'Cuz I sold my soul to Satan and inject myself with baby tears
I hope you wanna be my girl for all eternity
Cut off my hand, together we can rule the galaxy
If you don't stop me this song is gonna last forever
And is it ever gonna take off? Let me tell you: NEVER!
I still believe it's important with this type of conversation
I really hope this isn't too much information
Okay, this is a bit too much
Oh...
Um...It's really because my... my best friend is a duck
And ducks and geese don't really get along
It's like vampires and werewolves
So, it's a no go. I'm sorry
I-I'm just gonna go...
Hey, Peter!
Guess who's single and ready to hit the town with his favorite goose friend?
That's who!
And I know our lives are gonna get so much better
But first we should come clean and just be honest with each other
That's what I learned from the most important person in my life, my mother
We both have secrets and things we're not proud of I believe it's true
And it's best to talk about them now for me and you
'Cuz this relationship should be built on honеsty
And we don't want old stuff to come and hunt us when wе're family
Agree?
I sometimes text with my ex-girlfriend just because we're friends
But if you don't want me to speak with her, I'll make sure it ends
I can be somewhat untidy and sometimes I make a mess
But if you ask "Do I look good in this dress?"
I will say, "Yes."
I only eat spaghetti, hamburgers, and pizza
I have a picture of me leaning against the crooked tower of Pisa
If I do not pluck my eyebrows they will grow to one
I know the entire lyrics to Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On"
I squeeze the mayonnaise tube right here in the middle
I forget the toilet seat, and Ringo is my favorite Beatle
I have every episode of "Teen mom" on my PVR
And I collect all of my toenails in this jar
I have a dream to one day become a famous superstar
And there's a homeless man named Greg that is living in my car
Hope this doesn't scare you away from us two becoming one
'Cuz we'll gave a lot of love
And this crappy song
Wow, that's lot to process. I didn't know... There is a Greg in your car? Well, I appreciate the honesty. So...
I have a diamond jeweled pink iPhone encasement
Chronic flatulence and a boy in my basement
If I drink I turn sexist and I can be a prick
But I will try my utmost not to be like that, now suck my dick
I sometimes cry when I watch a super duper touching movie
I punch my cat and I think that Nickelback is super groovy
I've had like fifty girlfriends before we met each other
Let's say like fifty-one, if we include your mother
I have so many things on my heart that I gotta say
I hate laughter, and your sex face makes me sort of gay
I know it's harsh but honesty, that is what I'm all about
I don't eject the USB before I plug it out
Sometimes I swap babies in the hospital just for fun
And right now under here, I'm pointing at you with loaded gun
I hope you still want to be my one
'Cuz we'll have a lot of love
And this crappy song!
I don't know if I can...
I am a wizard and my best friend is a goose named Peter
Sometimes I wet the bed, but mainly I am a bed shitter
If I get bored I pay my twin brother to hang with you
Actually I am him right now, hello my name is Stu
I have a family of martians hiding in my attic
My dad's also my uncle-brother and I am a 1D fanatic
I was a she, but took a sex change just to be with you
I have 11 pairs of crocks and a YOLO tattoo
I sometimes breastfeed sleeping hobos, then I run away
I stole the "Z" from crazy, so that we could just say cray
I might look young, but I am 120 years
'Cuz I sold my soul to Satan and inject myself with baby tears
I hope you wanna be my girl for all eternity
Cut off my hand, together we can rule the galaxy
If you don't stop me this song is gonna last forever
And is it ever gonna take off? Let me tell you: NEVER!
I still believe it's important with this type of conversation
I really hope this isn't too much information
Okay, this is a bit too much
Oh...
Um...It's really because my... my best friend is a duck
And ducks and geese don't really get along
It's like vampires and werewolves
So, it's a no go. I'm sorry
I-I'm just gonna go...
Hey, Peter!
Guess who's single and ready to hit the town with his favorite goose friend?
That's who!
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