Song: Truce
Year: 2018
Viewed: 53 - Published at: 5 years ago

I'm calling it quits just like how I didn't call you when my facade came crashing down
I've been walking on eggshells but lately they're starting to crack and look more like bombshells
But not the kind of subpar bombshells that broke us
But the kind that end lives and yet somehow we keep on living in this back and forth hell that keeps us bound together like two parasites trying to devour each other

And I never ranted about you because that's like bringing a sword to a gunfight and
I know that bullet would travel straight through the place where all thosе good memories of you and I lay
So i'll stay inside
I don't want to play thеse games
I don't want to do this
I don't want to dance around you anymore
I know it wasn't a mistake because
I can only trip and fall so many times
Before the floor feels
Like a place of comfort

When I finished with another woman for the first time all I could think is FUCK not again
Not this time
Not like this
She's too special and i'm really excited about her but god dammit im such a coward
And I clearly can't hold onto the things worth holding onto and for that I'll never forgive myself
But what would be enough to earn your forgiveness? Should I make peace with the world and stop teasing everyone
And kill myself? That's not a threat it's a legitimate honest question
Because through all my introspection
I've realized that the only way to heal is in time and self reflection itself
And everytime I hear you yelling at me for saying your name at a distance
All I hear is the pain in the timbre of your voice in between those words

You told me to never write about you but some promises I clearly can't keep
And you can make fun of my art and the way I express myself but honestly
It's the only way I know how to make myself a better man, or at least try to be

And if that means writing songs about you then I'll do it
But those songs aren't really about you

They're about the idea of you
And about my perception of you
And all the things I ultimately could never give you
And I know everyone's tired of hearing about this but sometimes I need catharsis to wipe the slate clean and find a place in between the black and white because there's color there
And this might be the end for us but I know you're still hurting and I'm not helping by using the pain as a personal epiphone
But it's much easier to be angry and convince yourself that nothing was ever there
Than to hurt and to feel that pain
But pour yourself another glass of wine and rant whenever I say your name or elude to the fact that we existed together at some point in time
But don't you ever say I didn't love you because love comes in many different shapes and forms and mine was just more difficult to see but I did adore you, whether you believe me or not

And hearing about my antics like giving away your love scribbles might hurt
But it's just an anonymous exercise in the context of sadness and emotion
And don't try to do to me what we did to onision
It's not worth it I promise
And when they say I capitalize on your misery well then I guess every breakup song is a lie under the artifice of love
But I know you and I don't want to do this anymore with the streams, indirects and everything in between so I'm calling for a truce
My intent was never to make permanence seem more permanent but to express myself and I'm sorry if that sounds like I'm trying to be petty because I'm not
And that's about all ive got
I know I can't fix what i've done to you but I hope the money from that ring
Can start to fill that void
But I don't want to start a war I dont want to fight anymore

Im sorry I hurt you
And I hope you can accept my apology

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