[Lyric] TV Hype Commercial Session Outtake (Jim Pons, Howard Kaylan, Mark Volman & Frank Zappa)

Ladies and gentleman, this is The Mothers of Invention
I'm Frank and here's Jim, say hello, Jim
Hello, people
And this is Howard
Hi
Say hello again, Jim, that wasn't very—
Hello, everybody out there (Hot beats)
This is Howard
Hi there
This is Mark
Hello

Okay, here's the deal
We have this movie that we just finished called "200 Motels"
Right, mmm
Boy, is it neat, too
Uh, listen, this movie is, uh
Well, it was a little bit weird for the peoplе at United Artists when they first saw it
I mеan, it was a little hard to, uh, explain exactly what was going on when they went in and, uh, saw it for the first time
What I'm trying to say is they ran out of the screening room
Just before we got our budget to prepare the, uh, advertising campaign for this film
They left us a little short, folks, and with red cheeks
Ahaha, listen, it's really not that bad, we have a lavish advertising budget to spend on this film
And we're spending it wisely
We know that you out there in radio land also watch television
And you wanna get a little glimpse of what this film is all about
So we have spared no expense in preparing for you the most fantastic television commercial
In the best possible primetime slot
And we want you all to watch it because we only get a chance to show it once this week
And if you'll all pay close attention, the disk jockey on this station will tell you what time it's going to be on
What channel it's going to be on
And I want you all to watch this 200 Motels television commercial
Yay
Yay
Now do it again, now you say the same thing
Huh?
Or a variation thereof
Now you give the message
Oh, me?
Yeah
Hi, hi there, hi
We're The Mothers of Invention
I'm Howard
I'm Jim, hi everyone
I'm Mark, hi Jim
I'm Ian and Aynsley and Don Preston and also Frank

Yeah, and we just, and we just filmed this incredible motion picture
And I, I personally
Now honestly, and not being involved at all, have to recommend it
I mean, not just to you, but all the members of your family and your close friends
Not only that, all of the people who are on the Medicine Ball Caravan, they should watch it
Everybody should watch it because its social impor—
It's of social important, the film just hits home, what can I say?
The thing is that we really went over-budget
I mean, the film was so lavish
You can't believe the star-studded cast, the incredible costumes
Who's in the movie?
Oh, The Mothers of Invention for a starter
Theodore Bikel (Yeah, rockstar)
Keith Moon (Hot beats)
Yeah, history
Ah-oohs, all that stuff, the movie's great
But we ran over-budget and United Artists gave us only a mere penance
So we said well, we can either schlep and have a rancid commercial on nine times a week
Or just go all out and open our wads to the world
And say this is what we can do
And only have enough money to air it once
But sparing no expense, we've gone ahead and done just that
And your local announcer, right here on your very own teenage station
Will now tell you all the rancid details
Hi, we're The Mothers of Invention
We just did this movie, now you can't believe it
This is a cool movie, it's called "200 Motels"
That's right, and it's a United Artists release starring The Mothers of Invention
Theodore Bikel
And Ringo Starr
Frank Zappa did the whole thing and really cool
It's far out and funny
Lavish costumes, you can't even believe it
A lot of dancers, there's even some naked things, you know?
But it's nothing you couldn't take your classmates to see
Or your mom and dad, they'd really get off beyond your wildest dreams
Listen, a funny thing happened
We spent so much money schlepping our hearts out
Trying to make this movie a sincere and valuable audience-entertainer relationship kind of an experience
Like Esalen Institute, you know?
That we just didn't have any bread left for a big television campaign
So I wanna tell ya
We have booked one commercial this week on your local television station
It's primetime, folks
This is when all of you are gathered around the tube, watching
We know you'll be there
But just to remind ya, The Mother's snappy, lavish 200 Motels commercial
Will be on the station at the time that your local DJ guy will tell ya right now
Take it away, local DJ guy
Hi, I'm Eddie Sincere for The Mothers of Invention
Now these hardworking lads have just come back from London
Yes, well, they have spared no expense to film a movie for you and your whole family called "200 Motels"
That's right, Frank Zappa's 200 Motels with The Mothers of Invention
Theodore Bikel
And Ringo Starr
Mystery, hot beats, romance, ah-ooh
You're gonna love it to death
Now ladies and gentlemen, The Mothers came back to town
And they said, "Are you kidding? We spent over budget
We can't even afford a television commercial now"
But the brilliant people at United Artists have said
"Listen, you guys, here's a budget, run with it"
So we've got one lavish commercial that we're gonna sock to ya
And here's your local DJ guy to tell you just when and where it'll be socked to ya

Hi, we're The Mothers of Invention
We just made this movie, you know?
It's called "200 Motels"
It's pretty far out
Frank Zappa, you know?
The guy's a little weird
But it's got The Mothers of Invention in it
And Theodore Bikel
And Ringo Starr
Lot of groupies
Oh, yeah, Keith Moon
The Royal Philharmonic
Singers and dancers
Lavish costume
I mean, we went out on a limb for you folks
'Cause we really believe the artist and the entertainer
Share something so valuable with each other
That it's a— it's almost a religious, what can I say? Siddhartha, you know?
So we came back to town and we said
"Let's blow the rest of the budget and really make a snazzy commercial for these people
That they can watch on the television
The first Mothers of Invention television commercial"
And it's coming to your neighborhood, boys and girls
It's gonna be socked in your very eyes and ears, on your own color tube
You can get out of it
You can have a beer in your hand and your undershirt on
Have a little lady fix ya up a can of beans, you know what I mean?
Put your feet up and pet the dog and
Get out your straights and sit there and wait for it, ladies and gentlemen
Because here it comes, here it comes
See it coming, see it coming
Your local DJ guy is gonna tell ya right now
Where and when to glue your eyes to the boob tube
For the mystery Mothers commercial
Take it away