[Lyric] Two P3dos One Stone EDP445 Drake Bell Diss Track (The Whatever Kid)

[Intro]
It just seems that every other week now...
A YouTuber... entertainer...
Gets exposed for being a pedophile
I guess they don't call it "Hollyweird" for nothing
That guy that I was talking about
Hide your kids, hide your wife
He was on to something
Because you definitely got to hide your kids when you're around Drake Bell and EDP, that's for sure

[Verse]
EDP and Drake don't have much in common
What they have in common...
Is they both like little children
I bet you they both got boners
Whеn they're checking out middlе schoolers
When Olivia Rodrigo was on Disney
Drake got wet from those kissing scenes
Saying, "I wish that she was kissing me"
Two pedos, one stone, my aim's amazing
R. Kelly's piss tape got 'em masturbating
If I had a jail-free card, I would punch this fat bitch
He has no regrets trying to touch kids
Girls didn't want me when I was thirteen
So what makes you think they want you, EDP?
Besides the clout, what else you have to offer?
The black, fat version of Elliot Rodger
With your hair inactive like your daddy
If you were skinny
I can definitely see you going on a killing spree
Killing girls randomly cause you can’t get pussy
If you tried to kill girls at your current weight
Your fat ass would let the girls run away
Drake, on the other hand, would be capable of doing it
He got a head start by abusing all his chicks
Drake couldn’t get hits as an artist
So he got them through domestic violence
Drake, I got a question about your trial
What’s with the looks you were giving?
These women with accusations can’t all be lying
Delusional nut huggers will say…
They’ll say, "It’s to ruin his reputation"
Bitch, what reputation?
No one gave a fuck about him since '07
Only gets interviews 'cause people are nostalgic
Every interview has questions Drake and Josh-related
Now we know why Josh didn’t invite you to his wedding
He knew that you were a creep before we all did
A Make-a-Wish kid...
Might wish to marry a celebrity
Drake would marry a kid 'cause he’s horny
In eighth grade, this new girl came to my school
She would get attention from all the dudes
So Drake would want to flirt with her too
You would have been in your 20s
Without Wikipedia...
I couldn’t even tell you were in the 30s
How the hell you look older than Tom Brady?
Addicted to coke, but who knows?
Someone pointed out, of course, your name is Jared
You invite a fan girl for a sandwich
When Drake and Josh came to an end
Drake hasn’t been getting bread
So the girl will only get meat instead
All you EDP and Drake Bell fans disgust me
Just because they’re celebrities...
Doesn’t mean they’re above accountability
EDP, you should identify as a lady
'Cause you got titties and you’re a pussy
You should never ever act like a tough guy
Exposed as a creep, then you start to cry, bitch
Weeks after the confrontation
You’re acting like vintage EDP
Where was this energy
When Predator Poachers confronted you for meeting Sophie?
This fat bitch really had the audacity
To say, "These trolls are getting clout off me
All you making vids on me
Is a pathetic person"
Says the guy that tries to touch children
Just shut the fuck up and suck Bubba’s dick
'Cause nothing intelligent comes out your lips
Talking about you makes me a bad YouTuber?
Well, I'd rather be that than a child molester
You wanted $17,000 to make an appearance
On Chris Hansen, to prove that you’re innocent
Fat head but you clearly got no brain in it
The innocent ones are the kids you’re messing with, not you
Your dumb ass admitted what you came to do
You really thought you had everybody fooled?
At first, you claimed you drove half an hour for a cupcake
Throw away your career for a girl that’s fake
EDP, I will give you this
Your cupcake story...
Is the most plausible lie...
For a predator
'Cause eating wise, you make Joey Chestnut look amateur
Even Bowser would look at you...
And say, "Jesus, you’re humongous"
If Drake and EDP were a couple...
They would be a gay stereotype...
Skinny and the fat guy
If you two were politicians...
Or worth billions...
You would be on Epstein’s island
To a right-winger screaming, "All Lives Matter"
Next time you say that, think about these two fuckers