[Lyric] /v2k/ Award Speech (2020 Vidya Gaem Awards)

[The winner of this award was Deus Ex]
[Voiced by John C and Duke]

[John C]
Your nomination to the /v/GAs should be finalized within the week. I’ve already discussed the matter with the Janitor.
[Duke]
I take it he was agreeable?
[John C]
He didn’t really have a choice.
[Duke]
Did you do it for free?
[John C]
Oh yes, most certainly. When I mentioned everything Deus Ex predicted about our modern hellscape, he was so willing it was almost pathetic.
[Duke]
This game, the rioting has intensified to the point where we may no longer be ablе to contain it.
[John C]
Why contain it? Let it spill over with endlеssly quotable dialogue, let the levels open up and the gameplay spill over into the streets. In the end, they'll beg us to vote for it.
[Duke]
I've received reports of armed attacks by contrarians. There's not enough immersive sims to go around, and /v/irgins are starting to get desperate.
[John C]
Of course they're desperate. They can smell their death, and the sound they'll make quicksaving will serve as a warning to the rest.
[Duke]
Mmm. I hope you're not underestimating the problem. The shitposters may not go as quietly as you think -- intelligence indicates they're behind the problems in /v/.
[John C]
A bunch of pretentious underageb&s playing at running the board. But the board left them behind long ago. We are the future.
[Duke]
We have other problems.
[John C]
Mods?
[Duke]
Formed by administrative order after The Fappening on /b/. I have someone in place though. I’m more concerned about Hiro. He’s relocating to Mootexico.
[John C]
Our dedicated VPNs are far in advance of their mod tools, as is our interracial porn bots, and their… big black cocks have allowed us to rile up half the site on boards they don’t even moderate.
[Duke]
The /v/ offsprings?
[John C]
Among other boards, but I must admit I’ve been somewhat disappointed with the performance of the other awards.
[Duke]
The retro awards should be online soon. They’re currently undergoing rigging and should be streamed within six months. My people will continue to report on their progress. If necessary, the 2000 award will go to us.
[John C]
We've had to endure much, you and I, but soon there will be order again, a new age. Moot spoke of the mythical Best Game of 2000 Award. Soon that award will be a reality, and Deus Ex will be crowned its winner. Or better than its winner. Its God.