[Verse 1: Phaseroll]
We used to rule the charts
Witcher games were made with heart
Now in the office we crunch at night
Still they say the game’s too bright
[Verse 2: Phaseroll]
We used to out-sell DICE
Envy flashed in competitors’ eyes
Listened to reviews and polls:
"Now Bethesda is dead! Long live the Poles!"
One minute we held awards
Next just angerposts on boards
And I discovered that our brand name stands
Upon divеrsity hires and T-posing hands
[Chorus: Phaseroll]
I hear Metacritic scorеs a-falling
Gamer shitposting choirs are calling:
“You did better third-person swordplay
“Without shit guns in an empty hallway”
For some reason I can't explain
Once it launched there was never
Never an honest word
And that was when we built open-world
[Verse 3: Phaseroll]
Development was an eight-year feat
Postponed the date with yellow tweet
Marketing budgets and Keanu Reeves
People hyped to believe what we’d achieve
Revolutionary tech
But the console port’s a wreck
Now refunding those consumer thugs
Oh who would ever want to fix bugs?
[Chorus 2: Phaseroll]
I hear Metacritic scores a-falling
Console poverty choirs are calling:
“Please deliver a patch and fix now
“These NPCs still all have their dicks out”
For some reason I can't explain
I know Shazam will not buy our game
Never a moment’s peace
Shouldn’t have done a console release
[Break]
[Johnny Silverhand]
Wake the fuck up Samurai. We have a city to burn
[Bridge]
OH NO NO NO NO
OH NO NO NO NO
OH NO NO NO NO
OH NO NO NO NO
OH NO NO NO NO
[Bridge 2: Phaseroll]
Hear Metacritic scores a-falling (OH NO NO NO NO)
Shareholders panicking and calling: (OH NO NO NO NO)
“Breathtaking how the stock is dropping, (OH NO NO NO NO)
“Sell my shares 'cause the game is flopping” (OH NO NO NO NO)
For some reason I can't explain (OH NO NO NO NO)
I know Shazam will not buy our game
They called The Witcher art
But that was when we ruled the charts
We used to rule the charts
Witcher games were made with heart
Now in the office we crunch at night
Still they say the game’s too bright
[Verse 2: Phaseroll]
We used to out-sell DICE
Envy flashed in competitors’ eyes
Listened to reviews and polls:
"Now Bethesda is dead! Long live the Poles!"
One minute we held awards
Next just angerposts on boards
And I discovered that our brand name stands
Upon divеrsity hires and T-posing hands
[Chorus: Phaseroll]
I hear Metacritic scorеs a-falling
Gamer shitposting choirs are calling:
“You did better third-person swordplay
“Without shit guns in an empty hallway”
For some reason I can't explain
Once it launched there was never
Never an honest word
And that was when we built open-world
[Verse 3: Phaseroll]
Development was an eight-year feat
Postponed the date with yellow tweet
Marketing budgets and Keanu Reeves
People hyped to believe what we’d achieve
Revolutionary tech
But the console port’s a wreck
Now refunding those consumer thugs
Oh who would ever want to fix bugs?
[Chorus 2: Phaseroll]
I hear Metacritic scores a-falling
Console poverty choirs are calling:
“Please deliver a patch and fix now
“These NPCs still all have their dicks out”
For some reason I can't explain
I know Shazam will not buy our game
Never a moment’s peace
Shouldn’t have done a console release
[Break]
[Johnny Silverhand]
Wake the fuck up Samurai. We have a city to burn
[Bridge]
OH NO NO NO NO
OH NO NO NO NO
OH NO NO NO NO
OH NO NO NO NO
OH NO NO NO NO
[Bridge 2: Phaseroll]
Hear Metacritic scores a-falling (OH NO NO NO NO)
Shareholders panicking and calling: (OH NO NO NO NO)
“Breathtaking how the stock is dropping, (OH NO NO NO NO)
“Sell my shares 'cause the game is flopping” (OH NO NO NO NO)
For some reason I can't explain (OH NO NO NO NO)
I know Shazam will not buy our game
They called The Witcher art
But that was when we ruled the charts
( Vidya Gaem Awards )
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