[Lyric] What Happened to the Democrats? (KT Tatara)

Let's get into something everybody really likes. Politics, right? Everyone's excited.

Oh, I know everyone's like, "Fuck, dude. Came here to get away from that shit." I don't know. It's getting crazy out there. I try to stay out of it so I could make all the jokes, you know what I mean? People get way too serious about this shit, man.

The Democratic shit is hilarious to me. Like, what the hell is going on? Like, 10 years ago, we had Barack Obama, right? We had a young, half-Black, half-White dudе, right? He's 47 years old. Now we havе 70-year old white people. What the fuck is going on, right? It's the weirdest thing! Bernie's out there like, "Argh, get off my lawn!" and Elizabeth Warren's like, "I'd like to see your manager!", you know? Just, like, oh my God. What happened? This is the weirdest thing ever. It's crazy, man.

Trump is out there. Trump is just making shit up all over. Trump talks like he's giving a book report and didn't read the book, you know what I mean? Like, he's just making shit up and you just get all confused. You're like, "Wait, what? What are we talking about?"

I'll give you an example, man. When he first got elected, he called Taiwan and everyone was worried because they were, like, "Oh, does he know the One-China policy? Does he know about the One-China policy?"

I don't know if you guys know—familiar with that, but basically, you know, there's China, and then there's Taiwan and, you know, there's Hong Kong. There's these other places that you know historically had British rule that are culturally kind of different. And then 20-something years ago or whatever, China was like, "Nah, we all, this is one China." And then Taiwan's been like, "Yeah, but we're a little different, you know. We kind of got our own thing going on." And China's like, "Nah, one China, we all China." And then so then they look to America, and then we've just been, like, "Eeeh, just keep making our shit? I don't know. We don't want to get involved right now".

So the official policy is One China 'cause they're bigger and everything. So we go, "Yeah, yeah, one China. You've got a big dick, yeah, of course, okay." Just kind of soothe them. But then we go to Taiwan like, "Nah, you guys are cool. Actually, we like you better but, you know, they're fucking crazy."

So, we've been kinda playing it like that, right? So, when he got elected, he called up Taiwan, and everyone's like, "Oh, fuck. Maybe, he doesn't know the One-China policy." I don't know, right? And they asked them, I swear to God, he said some shit like, "Of course, there's one China. There's one China. There's one Hong Kong. There's one Taiwan. They're all fantastic cities of Japan." And it was like, "I don't think this guy knows!" Oh, man.

I do agree with Trump on two things, though. I do agree with Trump on two things. CNN sucks and I want to fuck his daughter. That's the only two things. That's it, though. That's it. Me and him were there on that, you know. Oh, they just left. They're like, "Fuck this shit. Not again. I'm voting for Trump on Tuesday!" Whatever, dude. "Everyone's triggered! These goddamn snowflakes!"

Everyone just needs to calm down, dude. It's all good.