[Verse 1] Well, the last present's delivered And the snow outside's gettin' thicker So let's open that bottle of liquor Hey, bourbon, take me home [Verse 2] On bourbon, on vodka, on scotch, and on gin Take me back, let the North Pole dancing begin It's my party I'll be naughty get more lit than a tree Put that elf on a shelf and Merry Christmas to...Learn More

[Intro: Gene & Courtney] Happy Valentine's Day, Wagstaff-inopolises! If you think fish are just the grooviest... Join the Club for Marine Life Enthusiasts! Wednesdays at lunch If peanuts make you itch and wheeze... Come and listen to the speaker on food allergies! [Spoken: Gene & Courtney] Wait. What's this? An announcement just came in What...Learn More

[Verse 1] They say Thomas Edison He's the man to get us Into this century And that man is me [Verse 2] They'll say "Aw, Topsy!" At my autopsy And no one could be More shocked than me [Bridge] But I never noticed the curve of her trunk And I never noticed his electric junk [Chorus] We might just have found Electric love Electric love Electric...Learn More

[Tina & Louise] Buenos dias, ¿Cómo estás? Love is like a beautiful flower Me llamo Tina But it can also be dangerous, like a tiger with a gun El perro es grande I mean, look at Steve. Divorce. Pain. Nothingness. Sorry, Steve ¿Dónde está el baño? Stay single forever, protect your heart, avoid guidance counselors. The end Uuh. La, la, la, Spanish,...Learn More

[Spoken: Linda, Gene, Tina, Bob & Gretchen] L: Uh-oh! We got customers! Gene, put an "Out of Order" sign on the door! G: On it! L: Good G: Wait. What should it say? T: "Out of order. Dad stuck on the toilet." B: No G: What about "Out of order. Toilet cursed with evil"? B: Kids, just stop drawing attention to the door. Go help your mother Gr: Hi,...Learn More

[Intro: Gene] A one, a two, a one-two-three-four! [Verse: Linda] Oh, the sheriff had a piggy and he was mighty mad He saw me a-coming and my wiener he did grab Now I can't quit cryin' and life just ain't no fun 'Cause a fat dog ate my hot dog and I got nothin' but the bun Yeehaw! [Outro: Louise] Wow. Wowie wow-wow-wow...Learn More

[Spoken: Belchers] L:Aw, family! Now come on! Let's eat. Look at the food! Look at it! Don't get too close! Wow! Don't get too close. Look at me B:Oh, God, what happened to the vegetables Lou:Survival of the Sweetest, Dad. It's nature's way B:Well, uh, they look... great. You guys really came through. I mean you cooked a turkey L:Woo! B:All right,...Learn More

Two, two, two-butted goat Two, two, two-butted goat Two, two, two-butted goat Two, two, two-butted goat [Spoken: Bobby Tisdale as Zeke & Eugene Mirman as Gene] You're the funniest person I've ever met in my whole life, Gene *laugh* Yeah! I love you so much Two, two, two-butted goat Two, two, two-butted goat...Learn More

[Intro] Gayle! Come clean up this throw-up! [Chorus: Gayle] There's lipstick on his pickup, there’s mascara on the wheels I looked inside the glove box and I found a red high heel [Outro: Gene] Well, pinch my loaf! That girl can sing!...Learn More

[Chorus] I'm tall enough to ride your heart Keep your arms and lips inside my car [Verse 1] If you have a heart condition, consult your doctor before riding Don't raise the safety bar when the car is in motion Don't be scared, girl, I will protect you and so will the safety bar [Chorus] (Ooh) I'm tall enough to ride your heart Keep your arms and...Learn More

If you love something Set it on fire Like a couch, or your shoes Woah, Woah, Woah If you love something Set it on fire If you love something Set it on fire If you love something Set it on fire Safety first Safety first...Learn More

[Spoken intro: Jairo & Bob] This is my body feeling good This is my body feeling good This is my bowels feeling good This is my bowels feeling good This is me tickling you! Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle! Stop! Stop! Cease and desist, 'cause I know I can't resist you, baby This is not just a chance to run or keep on doing my...Learn More