So that's it! Congratulations to all our winners I usually close the show with a song But I've just been told we're running over Which is a shame, because uh, I don't know Uh, it was a good one, but... If I had time, I'd Sing a little song recapping these awards A jazzy diddy set to introspective chords With lyrics that would cite Who won and lost...Learn More

Put down the remote 'Cause this song what I wrote Is a welcome you should not miss Put down the remote Every note from this throat Is like a not-to-be-Tivo'd kiss Don't touch that dial Yes, it's been quite a while Since a dial was in style But you know what I mean Don't jump online 'Cause this fine mug of mine Needs a huge high-def screen! Turn...Learn More

[NARRATOR] Once upon a time, three little pigs went out in the world to seek their fortune. Now, the first thing each of them had to do was a build a house to live in. The first little pig met a man carrying a bundle of straw. [FIRST PIG, NARRATOR] "Please, sir!" He said. "Give me some straw to build myself a house. [NARRATOR] The straw house was...Learn More

Why wouldn't Crosby give up hope? Why does Harold call Kumar when he scores dope? And why does a prisoner drop the soap? 'Cause no one wants to do it alone! Can't imagine Cinderella without the ball Or the battling burdens without a brawl Can't think about Botox without you all 'Cause no one wants to do it alone You can't take Julia Child from...Learn More

[NARRATOR] Many, many years ago, there lived an emperor Who didn't care at all about his army of soldiers With their fine, big guns and splendid uniforms Nor did he have any love for his enormous, white, marble palace Or anything in it The only thing he loved in the whole, wide, wonderful world Was clothes He was, indeed, a man of ten thousand...Learn More

[Verse 1] Just what makes a little old ant Think he'll move that rubber tree plant Anyone knows an ant, can't Move a rubber tree plant [Chorus] But he's got high hopes, he's got high hopes He's got high apple pie, in the sky hopes [Post-Chorus] So any time you're gettin' low 'Stead of lettin' go Just remember that ant Oops, there goes another...Learn More

[NEIL] They call you Lady Luck But there is room for doubt At times you have a very unlady-like way of running out Luck be a lady tonight Luck if you've ever been a lady to begin with Luck be a lady tonight ["Mad Men" dance choreographed by Derek Hough] Luck, luck, luck be a—, luck Luck be a lady—, luck, luck be a lady tonight ["Game of Thrones"...Learn More

Well folks I know I should be saying good night right now But this is Broadway And all great Broadway shows have a closing number, an 11:00 number And oh my gosh, look at the time; it's 11:03 So here we go [To "Tonight"] Tonight, tonight The Tonys were tonight And Elton's Billy was all the rage What class, what drive Now Angela won five And she...Learn More

[NEIL, spoken] You're saying—, you're saying you think you'd do a better job hosting than I would [HUGH, spoken] Can I be honest? [NEIL, spoken] Please [HUGH, spoken] Okay, what I'm saying is Any show you can host I can host better (sung) I can host any show better than you [NEIL] No, you can't [HUGH] Yes, I can [NEIL] No, you...Learn More