I used to spend my holidays alone An anthropomorphic oar, pretty bored Sittin inside of his home, oh no But then you met me, and I suggested we Go on a little holiday trip, really quick And we went down to the Bahamas for a dip And we just kept going Christmas can be every day When you’re travelin' the world and you’re an oar and you’re gay We...Learn More

I hate to tell ya, my fine equine But it’s lookin like your numbers up I know you’d love to stay around a-just a-little bit a-longer But your lungs are full of sticky muck So take a gallop with me toward eternity Forget about your earthly plight! And put one hoof In front of the other In front of the other In front of the other And clip clop into...Learn More

Well the winter snow’s-a-fallin and you know your friends are all expecting Gifts oh so unique And you really better nail it, cause you know that you’ll have failed em if They’re not knocked off their feet You can get em comfy slippers, seasons tickets to the Clippers A kazoo for playin jolly little tunes Some nova lox or wooly socks, fancy...Learn More

LIFE it rules but it also kinda SUCKS But you wanna stick around because it’s fun to do STUFF If only you could rid yourself of all your enemies Well have I got news for your my friend it’s simpler than it seems Now you could talk it out and be real polite Or you could slap em with a glove get in a fancy fight But if ya wanna keep proceedings...Learn More

Livin in France Out in le country A little more limited menu than you see in Paris Got no filet mignon Got no boeuf bourguignon No bouillabaisse or creme brûlée or charcuterie Ahh but when the pangs of hunger Howling in the gut grow stronger Fangs come out and then I long to MUNCH ON THE TERRIFIED FRENCH French HEADS, I’m eatin’ em nightly Bon...Learn More

This Christmas My wishlist Isn’t so much about the gettin But the hope that I can give Saint Nicholas A gift that Let’s him know how much we love him If in fact he ever really even lived Santa Claus, you are magic, but you also maybe weren’t real And you slapped that guy Who maybe shit himself to death, look it up We didn’t cover it But he...Learn More

I’m a city boat Metropolitan frivolity’s my guarantee I get a lotta folks Steppin aboard to have a drink on me And I don’t know why But I sure do cry Thinkin bout that gal who used to hang out on me Now she’s gettin into trouble on the seven seas Ching Shih You traded city livin for piracy Ya think she Ever thinks about a crummy little junk like...Learn More

A stool of gold A stool of gold A stool of gold A stool of gold A stool of gold A stool of gold A stool of gold A stool of gold A stool of gold A stool of gold A stool of gold A stool of gold A stool of gold A stool of gold...Learn More

Well I spent a Sunday shopping with my friend the lion tamer Even though she snogged me nan Then we popped into a shop 'n' met a baby named Magellan Who was very, very tan Magellan sold us boots and then he turned into a spider Said that life is but a dream Then he asked us for our emails And he sent along an e-vite to his uncle’s (35th) sweet...Learn More