[Lyric] Mummified Goose (Shane Madej)

Well the winter snow’s-a-fallin and you know your friends are all expecting
Gifts oh so unique
And you really better nail it, cause you know that you’ll have failed em if
They’re not knocked off their feet

You can get em comfy slippers, seasons tickets to the Clippers
A kazoo for playin jolly little tunes
Some nova lox or wooly socks, fancy chocolates in a box
A funny shirt they’ll prolly throw away by June

But if you wanna get em something cool and hip and new
PSST
Give their ass a mummified
Give their ass a mummified
Give their ass a mummified goose!

Can you imagine how they’ll clap
After they tear away the wrapping
And lay eyes upon an ancient dusty bird

Some hollow bones, their very own
To grace a mantle in their home
If I might say, pretty impressively preserved
So listen, hey, this holiday
I’m not sure what else I can say
But if you really wanna throw em for a loop

You find a goose that went kaputt
Ya wrap it up from beak to foot
And you give their ass a mummified
Give their ass a mummified
Give their ass a mummified
GOOSE
(honk)