Dipper Pines: Oh no, Mabel. I-I don't feel so good. I-BBBBLLLAAAA! (Sprays Silly String at Mabel)
Mabel Pines: Ohhh, Grunkle Stan, what did you feed us?! BBBBBLLLAAAA! (Sprays Silly String at Dipper)
Dipper: BBBBLLLAAAA! (Sprays Silly String)
Mabel: BBBBLLLAAAA! (Sprays Silly String)
Dipper: BBBBLLLAAA! (Sprays Silly String)
Mabel: Hahaha, barfing.
Wendy Corduroy: (Runs up) Guys, guys, stop! Something terrible just happened!
Dipper and Mabel: (Stare at Wendy)
Wendy: BBBBLLLAAAA! (Sprays Silly String at the twins. They all laugh hysterically)
Mabel: (Throws gold confetti) Comedy gold!
Stan Pines: (Takes Silly String cans and confetti) Alright, alright! Party supplies are now off-limits.
Soos Ramirez: Mr. Pines, whose birthday is it again?
Stan: Nobody's. Thought this party might be a good way to get kids to spend money at the Shack. (Unrolls a "Pin-thе-tail-on-the-donkey" game)
Soos: Nicе!
Stan: The young people of this town want fun; I'll smother 'em with fun!
Dipper: (Pouring Mabel some Diet Pitt Peach Soda) Maybe comments like that are why kids don't go to the Mystery Shack.
Stan: Hey, hey! Hows about you make yourself useful and copy these flyers? (Shows Dipper and Mabel a flyer)
Mabel: Oh boy, a trip to the copier store!
Soos: Calendars, mugs, t-shirts, and more! They got it all at the copier store! That's not their slogan, I just really feel that way about the copier store.
Stan: Save the trouble. You know the old copier in my office? I finally fixed the old girl up! Good as new!
Dipper and Mabel are in Stan's office. They pull the sheet off the old, busted-up copier machine. Several moths fly around it.
Mabel: (Gasps) Butterflies!
Dipper: (Lifts the lid up) Does it even work? (Presses a button, then rests his arm on the machine. It turns on, and creates a copy of his arm)
Mabel: (Picks up the paper) Success! (Notices the paper shaking and drops it) Whoa!
The picture of Dipper's arm comes to life and begins to crawl near them.
Mabel and Dipper: AH!
Dipper: Stay back! (Throws Mabel's soda at the arm, disintegrating it) Oh my gosh! Mabel, I think this copier can copy human beings!
Mabel: Do you realize what this means? (Pauses) BBBBLLLAAAA!! (Sprays Silly String at Dipper)
Cut to theme song.
Stan addresses Soos, Wendy, Mabel, and Dipper, who are all standing side-by-side.
Stan: Alright party people... and Dipper. Let's talk business. Soos, because you'll work for free, and you begged, I'm lettin' you be DJ.
Soos: You won't regret it, Mr. Pines. I got this book to teach me how to DJ R-R-Right! (Holds up book)
Stan: Not encouraging. Wendy, you and Mabel will work at the ticket stand.
Mabel: What? But Grunkle Stan, this party is my chance to make new friends!
Dipper: I... I could work with Wendy.
Stan: (Rolls eyes) You realize that if you do, you gotta commit to stay in at the ticket stand with Wendy. No getting out of it, just the two of you, alone, all night.
Dipper: (Watches Wendy spray Soos' belly with Silly String, smiles) I promise. (Cut to Dipper standing in front of a mirror in his room putting on a bow tie; he turns to get the spray and sees Mabel there) AH! (Turns) What?
Mabel: (Pretending to be Dipper:) Uh, uh, I could work the counter with you, Wendy! Let's kiss! (Pretends to kiss someone)
Dipper: Yeah, yeah. Laugh all you want, but I devised a plan to make sure my night with Wendy goes perfect. (Makes clicking noise)
Mabel: Plan? Oh, you're not making one of those overcomplicated listy things, are you?
Dipper: Psh. Overcomplicated? Let me just... (unfolds a huge list) alright, fold that there, kay. Step 1: Getting to know each other with playful banter. Banter is like talking but smarter.
Mabel: That sounds like a dumb idea for poopheads.
Dipper: Yeah, see? This isn't banter. This is what I want to avoid with Wendy. The final step is to ask her to dance. (Imagines a taller version of himself and Wendy dancing)
Wendy: Oh Dipper! I'm so happy you decided to work the ticket stand with me; you're so organized. Show me that checklist again.
Dipper: (Pulls out checklist from pocket)
Wendy: Oh!
Dipper: (Real-life:) If I follow steps 1 through 11, nothing can get in my way!
Mabel: Dipper, you're the one getting in your way. Why can't you just walk up and talk to her like a normal person?
Dipper: Step 9, sister! (Points to Step 9, which is "talk to her like a normal person.")
Mabel: (Sighs and rolls her eyes)
The party begins. Stan walks over to Mabel.
Stan: (Singing:) Yadda dee, yada doo, yada doo. (Talking:) Can your uncle throw a party or what?
Soos: (As DJ:)The energy, it's electric! Uhh, lightning, (presses buttons on sound FX machine, making various noises) lightning, lightning, lightning...
Stan: And if anyone wants to leave, I'm charging an exit fee of 15 bucks!
Nate: (Counting money with Lee) We've only got 13!
Lee: We're trapped!
Lee and Nate: (Pound on window)
Outside, Wendy and Dipper are working at the ticket station.
Dipper: (To himself:) Step 1: Casual banter. (To Wendy:) SO HERE'S A CASUAL QUESTION! (coughs) What's your favorite type of snack food?
Wendy: Oh, man! I can't just pick one!
Dipper: NO way! Mine too!
Wendy: Wait, what?
Dipper: Uhh... I mean... I mean... (Stuffs a bunch of popcorn in his mouth; to himself:) New topic! New topic! (Coughs)
Mabel: (Inside, dancing) Go, go! Work it, work it! (Sits down next to Grenda; opens a plastic water bottle and drinks some; she sees Grenda's lizard) Wow! You've got an animal on your body! I'm Mabel.
Grenda: Hi, I'm Grenda. (Gestures to Candy, in the chair next to her) This is Candy.
Candy Chiu: (Waves to Mabel; there are forks taped on her fingers)
Mabel: Why do have forks taped to your fingers?
Candy: (Puts her hand into Grenda's bowl of popcorn; when she pulls it out each finger has some popcorn on it) Improvement of human being.
Candy and Grenda: (Watch Grenda's lizard eat some popcorn and laugh)
Mabel: I've found my people!
Soos: Remember dudes, (reading from book) whoever, um, party hardies, what? Gets the party crown! (Holds up crown) Most applause at the end of the night wins!
Grenda and Candy: Wow!
Pacifica Northwest: (Walks up to Soos with her friends) Party crown? I'll take that, thank you very much!
Mabel: Who's that?
Candy: The most popular girl in town, Pacifica Northwest.
Grenda: I always feel bad about myself around her.
Soos: I can't just give you the crown. It's sort of a competition thing.
Pacifica: (Laughs and picks up microphone) Honestly, who's gonna compete against me? Fork girl? Lizard lady? (Laughs)
Grenda: Hold me, Candy! (Hugs Candy)
Candy: Our kind isn't welcome here!
Mabel: (Walks angrily over to Soos; pops up from behind table; happily:) Hey, I'll compete!
Candy and Grenda: (Gasp)
Mabel: (To Pacifica:) I'm Mabel.
Pacifica: That sounds like a fat old lady's name.
Mabel: I'll take that as a compliment!
Pacifica: May the better partier win. (Menacingly walks away with her friends)
Mabel: (To Pacifica:) Nice meeting you! (To Grenda and Candy:) She's going down.
Wendy: (Looks at party through window) Whoa! Sounds like the party's getting nuts.
Soos: Let the battle for the party crown begin! Mabel comes out strong! Watch out, Pacifica!
Wendy: I gotta get in there! (To Dipper:) Cover for me?
Dipper: Umm... well I, um–
Wendy: Thanks, man! (Goes inside and dances)
Dipper: (To the crowd of people waiting to get tickets:) I'll be back shortly! (To himself:) Sure Stan won't mind if I'm gone for a few minutes. (Turns to run inside)
Stan: (Grabs Dipper by the back of his shirt) Hey! What are you doing, kid? These suckers aren't gonna rip themselves off!
Kid: Yeah!
Stan: You promised, remember?
Dipper: I did?
Stan: (Plays a tape recording of Dipper's promise)
Dipper's voice: I promise.
Stan: (Walks off step by step and suddenly goes back for checking)
Wendy: Woo-hoo-hoo!
Dipper: If only I could be two places at once. (Goes into Stan's office, lies down on the copy machine, and presses the copy button) I wonder if this is a good idea.
Dipper is copied. The paper with the copy of him falls to the ground. It ripples, and the Dipper clone comes to life.
Dipper: Whoa! ...I have a really big head.
Dipper and Clone: So, uh... (Chuckles) sorry, you first. Stop copying me! (Laugh)
Clone: (Tries to slap his leg but hits his elbow on the copy machine) Ow, ow! Funnybone!
Dipper: (Writes the number 2 on the clone's head) I will call you: Number 2.
Number 2: Definitely not. You know a name I've always wanted?
Dipper and Number 2: Tyrone?
Dipper: Okay, Tyrone. Let's get down to business. I'm thinking you cover me at the ticket stand, while I ask Wendy to dance.
Tyrone: I know the plan, buddy.
Dipper and Tyrone: (Pull out Dipper's plan)
Dipper: (Backs away from Tyrone) Hey, we're not gonna get jealous and turn on each other like the clones in the movies, are we?
Tyrone: Dipper, please. This is you you're talking about. Plus, hey! (Snaps his fingers) You can always just disintegrate with me with water.
Dipper and Tyrone: (Tap their heads) Yeeah... (Tap each other's heads) Yeeeeah!
Tyrone mans the ticket station while Dipper is inside. They give each other the thumbs up. Dipper then walks over to Wendy.
Dipper: Great news, Wendy! I got someone to cover the concessions for me!
Wendy: That's awesome. You can hang out with me and Robbie. Robbie, you remember Dipper from the convenience store?
Robbie Valentino: Uh, no. Yo, Wendy, check out my new guitar. (Plays guitar)
Wendy: Whoa, cool!
Dipper: (Gasps and then imagines Robbie and Wendy dancing)
Wendy Robbie, you're a stupid, arrogant fraud; but kiss me anyway because you can play guitar. Oh wait, I forgot something. (Walks over and punches Dipper; to Robbie:) LET'S GET MARRIED TONIGHT!
Tyrone: (Calls Dipper) Hey buddy it's me, you. I just had the same jealousy fantasy.
Dipper: We got to get rid of Robbie if I ever want to dance with Wendy!
Wendy: Hey, Dipper! We're gonna go sit on the couch! Meet us when you're done.
Dipper: Oh no! They're sitting on the couch! We gotta think of something quick! (sees Robbie's bike) I got an idea!
Tyrone: I got the same one. But we're gonna need some help.
Dipper: (Cut to Stan's office, where he is writing the number 3 on a third clone's hat) And that's where you come in number three!
Number 3: But what if Robbie catches me? I'll be all alone!
Tyrone: Yeah, makes a good point.
Dipper: Okay, one more. Good point. Four Dippers. This is a four Dipper plan. (Makes another copy of himself)
The machine jams.
Tyrone: Uh-oh, paper jam. (Pulls the paper out of the machine and screams as it comes to life)
Paper Jam Dipper: (Rising out of the paper and attacking Tyrone) NYANYANYANYANYA-NAAAAA-NAAAAA. AAXUXAASSUAA-AAAA.
Number 3: C'mon, you're not gonna make me partner up with him, are you?
Tyrone: (To Number 3:) SSSHH! Don't be rude. (To Paper Jam Dipper:) Hey, buddy hey. It's okay.
Paper Jam Dipper: AAAA-KKKKKKKXXX-KKKKXXX-A.
Dipper: Okay. Just one more clone.
Cut to Pacifica on a stage.
Pacifica: (Singing:) Always means forever (closes eyes), ALWAAAAAYYYSS! (her high voice breaks a plastic cup; whispering and points) Forever.
Grenda: I used to sing like that before my voice changed.
Soos: Pacifica pulls ahead!
Pacifica: Try and top that! (Hands Mabel the microphone) Oh, and Grenda, by the way, you sound like a professional wrestler.
Grenda: I WANNA PUT HER IN A HEADLOCK AND MAKE HER FEEL PAIN!
Mabel: It's not over 'til it's over, sisters! Watch this. (Runs onstage) Soos! Give me the 80s-ist, crowd-pleasing-ist, rock ballad-y-ist song you got!
Soos: (Puts on Don't Start Un-Believing)
Mabel: Excellent. (Singing:) Don't start UN-BELIEVING!
Never don't not feel your feelings! (Everyone cheers)
(Twirls her mic around)
WATCH ME DO A FLIP! (lands on her face)
THAT WAS FOR YOU GUYS!
Everyone cheers except Pacifica, who looks at the crowd, and Dipper whispers something in Soos' ear.
Soos: Dudes, would the owner of a silver and red dirt bike please report outside. It is being stolen right now.
Robbie: Wait, WHAT?!
Clones 3 and 4 rides Robbie's bike away from the shack and laugh.
Robbie: (Chasing them) Hey, come back here!
Dipper: (To Wendy:) Oh, tough break. I wonder who those guys are who aren't me because I'm right here.
Soos: Now we're gonna bring it down for a minute. Ladies, dudes, now's the time.
Wendy: Oh snap, I love this song. (Sways her head in time to the music)
Mabel: (Runs over to Dipper) Hey Goofus, now's your chance to ask Wen–(Dipper covers Mabel's mouth. They move away from Wendy) Now's your chance to ask Wendy to dance! C'mon! Go!
Dipper: Ok, ok. (Struggles to go over) I-uh, (Runs away in the opposite direction) Uh, I'll be right back!
Cut to Tyrone and Dipper pacing around each other in the attic
Tyrone: Oh, I agree. You can't just go and DANCE with her.
Dipper: The dance floor is a minefield, a MINEFIELD, Tyrone!
Tyrone: What if there's a glitch in the sound system?
Dipper: Stan might get in the way.
Tyrone: Robbie might come back.
Dipper: There's too many variables. We need help.
Dipper: makes 6 more clones of himself.
Dipper: Alright, Dippers! Gather round! Now's the time! You all clear on want to do?
The clones nod monotonously and leave the attic. Number 10 walks up the Soos.
Number 10: Hey, Soos, look! A glowing dot!
Soos: Oh man, I'm so glad I turned my head. That dot does not disappoint.
While Soos is distracted, number 10 puts in a disc labeled "Wendy Mix." The rest of the clones do their jobs as well. Number 8, who is sitting above the party, puts a dollar on a fishing rod and dangles it in front of Stan.
Stan: Right, like I'm gonna fall for that. (pretends not to notice, then tries to grab the money) GIVE ME THAT... (Chases it away) MONEY, MONEY!
While Stan is distracted, Number 6 rings a bell.
Tyrone: There's your cue. It's the perfect moment to ask Wendy to dance. Good luck, me!
Dipper: I don't need luck. I have a plan. (Leaves attic and sees Wendy in the hallway) AH!
Wendy: Oh hey, man. What's up?
Dipper: W-What are you doing here? I mean, wouldn't you rather be out on the dance floor, (looks at watch) uh, in like exactly 42 seconds?
Wendy: I'm just waiting for the bathroom.
Dipper: Um, uh, okay. (Pulls out his list, to himself:) Small talk, small talk, small talk!
Wendy: So hey, let's say everyone at this party gets stuck on a desert island. Who do you think the leader would be?
Dipper: I, uh...
Wendy: I think I'd go with this lunatic. (Points at a short, sweaty man dancing)
Dipper: Ha, ha, ha. (Puts list away) I'd probably go for Stretch over there, uh, because tall people can reach coconuts? (points at a tall man doing the moonwalk)
Wendy: Speaking of tall, wanna see something? (Pulls out a picture with her thumb over one of her brothers) Those are my brothers, and I'm, (Lifting her thumb) boooop.
Dipper: Ha, you were a freak! (Covers mouth)
Wendy: Yep.
Dipper: You know, kids used to make fun of my birthmark before I started hiding it all the time.
Wendy: Birthmark?
Dipper: Uh, no! It's nothing! I-I was-I wa–why did I say that?
Wendy: No way, dude! Now you have to show me! Show me, show me!
Dipper: (Lifts his bangs up to show his forehead, revealing a Big Dipper-like birthmark)
Wendy: The Big Dipper! That's how you got your nickname! I thought your parents just hated you or something. Hey, I guess we're both freaks. (They clink cups and laugh as Pacifica exits the bathroom) Wait here? (Goes into the bathroom)
Dipper: Of course.
Tyrone: (Coming in with the rest of the clones behind him) Hey! What are you doing up here? Number 10 has been distracting Soos for 15 minutes; he's gonna get tired of that dot eventually!
Soos: (Off-screen:) Never!
Dipper: You won't believe it guys! I bumped into Wendy accidentally and things are actually going great!
Tyrone: That's nice, but not the plan. Do we have to remind you?
Clones: (Read some steps from the list asynchronously)
Dipper: Oh man, you guys sound crazy. Look, maybe we don't need the plan anymore, you know? Maybe I could just go talk to her like a normal person.
Clones: (Gasp)
Number 7: You bite your tongue!
Number 5: If you're not gonna stick to the plan, maybe you shouldn't be the Dipper to dance with Wendy.
Clones: Yes/If you think about it... Five/Number Five's got a point.
Dipper: Guys, c'mon. We said we weren't gonna turn on each other.
Tyrone: I think we all knew we were lying.
Clones: (Grab Dipper and pull him away)
Dipper: No, no, hey, hey! AAAAAH!
Clones: (Throw Dipper in a closet)
Dipper: No, wait!
Clones: (Close the door)
Dipper: (Trying to trick Tyrone) Ahh, I can't breathe in here!
Tyrone: Yes you can! Plus there's snacks and a coloring book in there for you!
Dipper: (Sigh, eats a cracker angrily) Omnomnom...
Tyrone: Okay, now that Original Dipper or "Dipper Classic" is no longer fit for it, I nominate myself to dance with Wendy instead. I've been around the longest, so it should be me. Right? I mean logically. Logically, guys.
Number 10: Fair point, fair point. Counterpoint, maybe I should get to dance with Wendy because I've been around her the least.
Number 5: That makes, like, zero sense.
Number 10: (Pushes number 5) YOU MAKE ZERO SENSE!
Number 5: (Shoves number 10) Watch it!
Number 6: (Shoves number 5) Don't shove people!
Paper Jam Dipper: NANANANANA-AAAAAAA!
Tyrone: Hey, you want some cheese and crackers, buddy?
Paper Jam Dipper KKSSKSKSS.
Tyrone: (Tries to give Paper Jam Dipper a cracker but realizes he has no mouth) Yikes. (To the rest of the clones:) Hey, guys, what would you do if you were trapped in a closet?
Number 5 to 10: Break out. (Looks at closet to see that it's open)
Tyrone: (Facepalm)
Dipper: (Runs downstairs and to balcony) WEND-!
Number 5: (Covers his mouth and drags him back to the other clones)
Tyrone: C'mon, man. Give it up. You're overpowered.
Dipper: Hold on guys, think about it. We're exact equals mentally and physically. If we start fighting, it'll just go on for infinity.
As the clones agree, Dipper punches Tyrone. The clones stare at them and there is an awkward pause.
Number 9: CLONE FIGHT!
The clones start fighting each other.
Number 5: (Slapping Dipper) Quit hitting myself, quit hitting myself! (Is tackled by Number 8)
Numbers 5 and 8 hold Tyrone back as 10 slaps him in the stomach
Tyrone: Guys guys, c'mon it's me!
As the clones fight, Dipper crawls through the crowd and nearly gets away. They notice Dipper and the fight stops.
Number 10: Hey! Classic Dipper's getting away!
Dipper: No friends, it's me, Number 7.
The clones stare at the real Number 7.
Number 7: (Shaking his head and panicking) That's not me guys, that's not me!
The fake #7 mark on Dipper's hat peels off.
Number 9: Get him!
The clones march toward Dipper cornering him & Dipper backs away from them.
Dipper: Stay back, stay back!
Dipper: (Fires a party popper, which turns on the sprinkler, causing the clones to melt)
Clones: Boo! C'mon! Lame! This stinks! Boo!
Paper Jam Dipper NANANANANANA-KSCKSKSSOSKS
(Subtitled:) It's better this way for Paper Jam Dipper
Dipper: Huh, how 'bout that. (Notices Tyrone standing behind him)
Tyrone: You!
Dipper: Uh-oh.
Cut to the party room. Mabel is doing the worm.
Soos: One more song, dudes, and then it's time for the bestowing of the party crown. It's gonna be the– (plays an explosion sound with the keyboard) Nailed it.
Mabel: Pacifica, I just wanna say that whoever wins, it's been a super fun party.
Pacifica: Tsk. Awwww, it thinks it's gonna win. Hey, did you hear that? (Mabel cups her hand next to her ear) People clapping for the weird girls? Yeah, me neither.
Cut back to Dipper and Tyrone fighting.
Tyrone: Say it! Say I can dance with Wendy!
Dipper: Never!
Dipper and Tyrone: (Hear Wendy laughing and stop fighting) Wendy?
Wendy: (Listening to something Robbie is saying and laughing.) Robbie! (Hits him) Shut up! (Laughs)
Dipper and Tyrone: (Sigh) We blew it, man. (Sit down)
Tyrone: I don't know, you wanna go grab a couple sodas or something?
Cut to the party room.
Soos: Let the party crown voting commence! (plays bell sound)
Pacifica: (Sarcastically:) Good luck, Mabel.
Soos: Applaud to vote for Mabel.
The crowd applauds loudly.
Soos: Let's check the applause meter. (Raises hand) Oh, oh, very good.
Mabel: (Smiles)
Soos: And the next contestant: Pacifica.
The crowd applauds quietly, but Pacifica glares at them angrily. More people reluctantly start to clap for her.
Soos: Uh-oh, a tie! This has like, never happened before.
Pacifica: (Looks around and sees Old Man McGucket sleeping on a bench. She runs to him and gives him a dollar)
Old Man McGucket: (Clapping) Ha! Haha! Hahahahaha!
Soos: Ladies and gentlemen, we-we have a winner. (Disappointed) The winner of the contest is Pacifica Northwest. (Gives Pacifica the crown)
Pacifica: Thank you, Jorge. Thank you, everyone! Everyone comes to the after-party at my parents' boat! Woo-hoo!
Crowd: (Carrying her off) Pacifica! Pacifica! Pacifica!
Mabel: (To Grenda and Candy:) Sorry I let you guys down. I understand if you wanna leave.
Candy: But then, we will miss the sleepover.
Mabel: The what?
Grenda: We want to call our moms and see if we can sleep over here with you. You're like, a total rock star!
Candy: (Pulls a magazine out of her bag) I have magazine boys.
Mabel: Really? You GUUYS!
Candy: Maybe we don't have as many friends as Pacifica, but we have each other, and that is pretty good I think.
Mabel: (to Soos:) Soos! Play another song! This thing's going all night!
Soos: Way ahead of you, hambone. (Plays a song)
Mabel: (Dancing) This is it! This is it!
Candy: (Dancing) Dance! Dance! Dance!
Cut to the roof, Dipper passes Tyrone a can of soda.
Tyrone: Some night, huh?
A shooting star flies across the starry night. Dipper and Tyrone open the cans.
Dipper: You think we even have a chance with Wendy? I mean she's 15, we're 12.
Tyrone: I don't know man, I hope so, but we're making zero progress the way we're doin' it. The only good conversation you had with her is when you didn't do anything in that list stuff.
Dipper: I know. Mabel was right, I do get in my own way.
Dipper and Tyrone: Literally!
Tyrone: Wow! (makes an explosion sound).
Dipper and Tyrone: (Touch cans and drink the soda)
Tyrone: (Stomach melts) Oh boy, don't look now.
Dipper: Tyrone!
Tyrone: It's okay dude, I had a good run. Remember what we talked about.
Dipper: Uh-uh, of course.
Tyrone: Hey, and quit being such a wimp around Wendy okay? For my sake... (Melts completely) BLBLBLBLBLBL!
Dipper: Tyrone! You were the only one who understood. (Pours soda on where Tyrone melted and drinks what's left. He goes to the front door and looks in the window.)
Stan: (Counting money) Hahaha!
Soos is playing music and the girls are dancing. Wendy is by the side nodding her head to the beat. Dipper prepares to go in, then stops and rips up the list and goes inside the shack.
Mabel: Dipper! Where have you been? Meet my girlfriends!
End credits.
Soos: (Presses the keyboard buttons one by one. The last one is the thunder) Found it.
Mabel Pines: Ohhh, Grunkle Stan, what did you feed us?! BBBBBLLLAAAA! (Sprays Silly String at Dipper)
Dipper: BBBBLLLAAAA! (Sprays Silly String)
Mabel: BBBBLLLAAAA! (Sprays Silly String)
Dipper: BBBBLLLAAA! (Sprays Silly String)
Mabel: Hahaha, barfing.
Wendy Corduroy: (Runs up) Guys, guys, stop! Something terrible just happened!
Dipper and Mabel: (Stare at Wendy)
Wendy: BBBBLLLAAAA! (Sprays Silly String at the twins. They all laugh hysterically)
Mabel: (Throws gold confetti) Comedy gold!
Stan Pines: (Takes Silly String cans and confetti) Alright, alright! Party supplies are now off-limits.
Soos Ramirez: Mr. Pines, whose birthday is it again?
Stan: Nobody's. Thought this party might be a good way to get kids to spend money at the Shack. (Unrolls a "Pin-thе-tail-on-the-donkey" game)
Soos: Nicе!
Stan: The young people of this town want fun; I'll smother 'em with fun!
Dipper: (Pouring Mabel some Diet Pitt Peach Soda) Maybe comments like that are why kids don't go to the Mystery Shack.
Stan: Hey, hey! Hows about you make yourself useful and copy these flyers? (Shows Dipper and Mabel a flyer)
Mabel: Oh boy, a trip to the copier store!
Soos: Calendars, mugs, t-shirts, and more! They got it all at the copier store! That's not their slogan, I just really feel that way about the copier store.
Stan: Save the trouble. You know the old copier in my office? I finally fixed the old girl up! Good as new!
Dipper and Mabel are in Stan's office. They pull the sheet off the old, busted-up copier machine. Several moths fly around it.
Mabel: (Gasps) Butterflies!
Dipper: (Lifts the lid up) Does it even work? (Presses a button, then rests his arm on the machine. It turns on, and creates a copy of his arm)
Mabel: (Picks up the paper) Success! (Notices the paper shaking and drops it) Whoa!
The picture of Dipper's arm comes to life and begins to crawl near them.
Mabel and Dipper: AH!
Dipper: Stay back! (Throws Mabel's soda at the arm, disintegrating it) Oh my gosh! Mabel, I think this copier can copy human beings!
Mabel: Do you realize what this means? (Pauses) BBBBLLLAAAA!! (Sprays Silly String at Dipper)
Cut to theme song.
Stan addresses Soos, Wendy, Mabel, and Dipper, who are all standing side-by-side.
Stan: Alright party people... and Dipper. Let's talk business. Soos, because you'll work for free, and you begged, I'm lettin' you be DJ.
Soos: You won't regret it, Mr. Pines. I got this book to teach me how to DJ R-R-Right! (Holds up book)
Stan: Not encouraging. Wendy, you and Mabel will work at the ticket stand.
Mabel: What? But Grunkle Stan, this party is my chance to make new friends!
Dipper: I... I could work with Wendy.
Stan: (Rolls eyes) You realize that if you do, you gotta commit to stay in at the ticket stand with Wendy. No getting out of it, just the two of you, alone, all night.
Dipper: (Watches Wendy spray Soos' belly with Silly String, smiles) I promise. (Cut to Dipper standing in front of a mirror in his room putting on a bow tie; he turns to get the spray and sees Mabel there) AH! (Turns) What?
Mabel: (Pretending to be Dipper:) Uh, uh, I could work the counter with you, Wendy! Let's kiss! (Pretends to kiss someone)
Dipper: Yeah, yeah. Laugh all you want, but I devised a plan to make sure my night with Wendy goes perfect. (Makes clicking noise)
Mabel: Plan? Oh, you're not making one of those overcomplicated listy things, are you?
Dipper: Psh. Overcomplicated? Let me just... (unfolds a huge list) alright, fold that there, kay. Step 1: Getting to know each other with playful banter. Banter is like talking but smarter.
Mabel: That sounds like a dumb idea for poopheads.
Dipper: Yeah, see? This isn't banter. This is what I want to avoid with Wendy. The final step is to ask her to dance. (Imagines a taller version of himself and Wendy dancing)
Wendy: Oh Dipper! I'm so happy you decided to work the ticket stand with me; you're so organized. Show me that checklist again.
Dipper: (Pulls out checklist from pocket)
Wendy: Oh!
Dipper: (Real-life:) If I follow steps 1 through 11, nothing can get in my way!
Mabel: Dipper, you're the one getting in your way. Why can't you just walk up and talk to her like a normal person?
Dipper: Step 9, sister! (Points to Step 9, which is "talk to her like a normal person.")
Mabel: (Sighs and rolls her eyes)
The party begins. Stan walks over to Mabel.
Stan: (Singing:) Yadda dee, yada doo, yada doo. (Talking:) Can your uncle throw a party or what?
Soos: (As DJ:)The energy, it's electric! Uhh, lightning, (presses buttons on sound FX machine, making various noises) lightning, lightning, lightning...
Stan: And if anyone wants to leave, I'm charging an exit fee of 15 bucks!
Nate: (Counting money with Lee) We've only got 13!
Lee: We're trapped!
Lee and Nate: (Pound on window)
Outside, Wendy and Dipper are working at the ticket station.
Dipper: (To himself:) Step 1: Casual banter. (To Wendy:) SO HERE'S A CASUAL QUESTION! (coughs) What's your favorite type of snack food?
Wendy: Oh, man! I can't just pick one!
Dipper: NO way! Mine too!
Wendy: Wait, what?
Dipper: Uhh... I mean... I mean... (Stuffs a bunch of popcorn in his mouth; to himself:) New topic! New topic! (Coughs)
Mabel: (Inside, dancing) Go, go! Work it, work it! (Sits down next to Grenda; opens a plastic water bottle and drinks some; she sees Grenda's lizard) Wow! You've got an animal on your body! I'm Mabel.
Grenda: Hi, I'm Grenda. (Gestures to Candy, in the chair next to her) This is Candy.
Candy Chiu: (Waves to Mabel; there are forks taped on her fingers)
Mabel: Why do have forks taped to your fingers?
Candy: (Puts her hand into Grenda's bowl of popcorn; when she pulls it out each finger has some popcorn on it) Improvement of human being.
Candy and Grenda: (Watch Grenda's lizard eat some popcorn and laugh)
Mabel: I've found my people!
Soos: Remember dudes, (reading from book) whoever, um, party hardies, what? Gets the party crown! (Holds up crown) Most applause at the end of the night wins!
Grenda and Candy: Wow!
Pacifica Northwest: (Walks up to Soos with her friends) Party crown? I'll take that, thank you very much!
Mabel: Who's that?
Candy: The most popular girl in town, Pacifica Northwest.
Grenda: I always feel bad about myself around her.
Soos: I can't just give you the crown. It's sort of a competition thing.
Pacifica: (Laughs and picks up microphone) Honestly, who's gonna compete against me? Fork girl? Lizard lady? (Laughs)
Grenda: Hold me, Candy! (Hugs Candy)
Candy: Our kind isn't welcome here!
Mabel: (Walks angrily over to Soos; pops up from behind table; happily:) Hey, I'll compete!
Candy and Grenda: (Gasp)
Mabel: (To Pacifica:) I'm Mabel.
Pacifica: That sounds like a fat old lady's name.
Mabel: I'll take that as a compliment!
Pacifica: May the better partier win. (Menacingly walks away with her friends)
Mabel: (To Pacifica:) Nice meeting you! (To Grenda and Candy:) She's going down.
Wendy: (Looks at party through window) Whoa! Sounds like the party's getting nuts.
Soos: Let the battle for the party crown begin! Mabel comes out strong! Watch out, Pacifica!
Wendy: I gotta get in there! (To Dipper:) Cover for me?
Dipper: Umm... well I, um–
Wendy: Thanks, man! (Goes inside and dances)
Dipper: (To the crowd of people waiting to get tickets:) I'll be back shortly! (To himself:) Sure Stan won't mind if I'm gone for a few minutes. (Turns to run inside)
Stan: (Grabs Dipper by the back of his shirt) Hey! What are you doing, kid? These suckers aren't gonna rip themselves off!
Kid: Yeah!
Stan: You promised, remember?
Dipper: I did?
Stan: (Plays a tape recording of Dipper's promise)
Dipper's voice: I promise.
Stan: (Walks off step by step and suddenly goes back for checking)
Wendy: Woo-hoo-hoo!
Dipper: If only I could be two places at once. (Goes into Stan's office, lies down on the copy machine, and presses the copy button) I wonder if this is a good idea.
Dipper is copied. The paper with the copy of him falls to the ground. It ripples, and the Dipper clone comes to life.
Dipper: Whoa! ...I have a really big head.
Dipper and Clone: So, uh... (Chuckles) sorry, you first. Stop copying me! (Laugh)
Clone: (Tries to slap his leg but hits his elbow on the copy machine) Ow, ow! Funnybone!
Dipper: (Writes the number 2 on the clone's head) I will call you: Number 2.
Number 2: Definitely not. You know a name I've always wanted?
Dipper and Number 2: Tyrone?
Dipper: Okay, Tyrone. Let's get down to business. I'm thinking you cover me at the ticket stand, while I ask Wendy to dance.
Tyrone: I know the plan, buddy.
Dipper and Tyrone: (Pull out Dipper's plan)
Dipper: (Backs away from Tyrone) Hey, we're not gonna get jealous and turn on each other like the clones in the movies, are we?
Tyrone: Dipper, please. This is you you're talking about. Plus, hey! (Snaps his fingers) You can always just disintegrate with me with water.
Dipper and Tyrone: (Tap their heads) Yeeah... (Tap each other's heads) Yeeeeah!
Tyrone mans the ticket station while Dipper is inside. They give each other the thumbs up. Dipper then walks over to Wendy.
Dipper: Great news, Wendy! I got someone to cover the concessions for me!
Wendy: That's awesome. You can hang out with me and Robbie. Robbie, you remember Dipper from the convenience store?
Robbie Valentino: Uh, no. Yo, Wendy, check out my new guitar. (Plays guitar)
Wendy: Whoa, cool!
Dipper: (Gasps and then imagines Robbie and Wendy dancing)
Wendy Robbie, you're a stupid, arrogant fraud; but kiss me anyway because you can play guitar. Oh wait, I forgot something. (Walks over and punches Dipper; to Robbie:) LET'S GET MARRIED TONIGHT!
Tyrone: (Calls Dipper) Hey buddy it's me, you. I just had the same jealousy fantasy.
Dipper: We got to get rid of Robbie if I ever want to dance with Wendy!
Wendy: Hey, Dipper! We're gonna go sit on the couch! Meet us when you're done.
Dipper: Oh no! They're sitting on the couch! We gotta think of something quick! (sees Robbie's bike) I got an idea!
Tyrone: I got the same one. But we're gonna need some help.
Dipper: (Cut to Stan's office, where he is writing the number 3 on a third clone's hat) And that's where you come in number three!
Number 3: But what if Robbie catches me? I'll be all alone!
Tyrone: Yeah, makes a good point.
Dipper: Okay, one more. Good point. Four Dippers. This is a four Dipper plan. (Makes another copy of himself)
The machine jams.
Tyrone: Uh-oh, paper jam. (Pulls the paper out of the machine and screams as it comes to life)
Paper Jam Dipper: (Rising out of the paper and attacking Tyrone) NYANYANYANYANYA-NAAAAA-NAAAAA. AAXUXAASSUAA-AAAA.
Number 3: C'mon, you're not gonna make me partner up with him, are you?
Tyrone: (To Number 3:) SSSHH! Don't be rude. (To Paper Jam Dipper:) Hey, buddy hey. It's okay.
Paper Jam Dipper: AAAA-KKKKKKKXXX-KKKKXXX-A.
Dipper: Okay. Just one more clone.
Cut to Pacifica on a stage.
Pacifica: (Singing:) Always means forever (closes eyes), ALWAAAAAYYYSS! (her high voice breaks a plastic cup; whispering and points) Forever.
Grenda: I used to sing like that before my voice changed.
Soos: Pacifica pulls ahead!
Pacifica: Try and top that! (Hands Mabel the microphone) Oh, and Grenda, by the way, you sound like a professional wrestler.
Grenda: I WANNA PUT HER IN A HEADLOCK AND MAKE HER FEEL PAIN!
Mabel: It's not over 'til it's over, sisters! Watch this. (Runs onstage) Soos! Give me the 80s-ist, crowd-pleasing-ist, rock ballad-y-ist song you got!
Soos: (Puts on Don't Start Un-Believing)
Mabel: Excellent. (Singing:) Don't start UN-BELIEVING!
Never don't not feel your feelings! (Everyone cheers)
(Twirls her mic around)
WATCH ME DO A FLIP! (lands on her face)
THAT WAS FOR YOU GUYS!
Everyone cheers except Pacifica, who looks at the crowd, and Dipper whispers something in Soos' ear.
Soos: Dudes, would the owner of a silver and red dirt bike please report outside. It is being stolen right now.
Robbie: Wait, WHAT?!
Clones 3 and 4 rides Robbie's bike away from the shack and laugh.
Robbie: (Chasing them) Hey, come back here!
Dipper: (To Wendy:) Oh, tough break. I wonder who those guys are who aren't me because I'm right here.
Soos: Now we're gonna bring it down for a minute. Ladies, dudes, now's the time.
Wendy: Oh snap, I love this song. (Sways her head in time to the music)
Mabel: (Runs over to Dipper) Hey Goofus, now's your chance to ask Wen–(Dipper covers Mabel's mouth. They move away from Wendy) Now's your chance to ask Wendy to dance! C'mon! Go!
Dipper: Ok, ok. (Struggles to go over) I-uh, (Runs away in the opposite direction) Uh, I'll be right back!
Cut to Tyrone and Dipper pacing around each other in the attic
Tyrone: Oh, I agree. You can't just go and DANCE with her.
Dipper: The dance floor is a minefield, a MINEFIELD, Tyrone!
Tyrone: What if there's a glitch in the sound system?
Dipper: Stan might get in the way.
Tyrone: Robbie might come back.
Dipper: There's too many variables. We need help.
Dipper: makes 6 more clones of himself.
Dipper: Alright, Dippers! Gather round! Now's the time! You all clear on want to do?
The clones nod monotonously and leave the attic. Number 10 walks up the Soos.
Number 10: Hey, Soos, look! A glowing dot!
Soos: Oh man, I'm so glad I turned my head. That dot does not disappoint.
While Soos is distracted, number 10 puts in a disc labeled "Wendy Mix." The rest of the clones do their jobs as well. Number 8, who is sitting above the party, puts a dollar on a fishing rod and dangles it in front of Stan.
Stan: Right, like I'm gonna fall for that. (pretends not to notice, then tries to grab the money) GIVE ME THAT... (Chases it away) MONEY, MONEY!
While Stan is distracted, Number 6 rings a bell.
Tyrone: There's your cue. It's the perfect moment to ask Wendy to dance. Good luck, me!
Dipper: I don't need luck. I have a plan. (Leaves attic and sees Wendy in the hallway) AH!
Wendy: Oh hey, man. What's up?
Dipper: W-What are you doing here? I mean, wouldn't you rather be out on the dance floor, (looks at watch) uh, in like exactly 42 seconds?
Wendy: I'm just waiting for the bathroom.
Dipper: Um, uh, okay. (Pulls out his list, to himself:) Small talk, small talk, small talk!
Wendy: So hey, let's say everyone at this party gets stuck on a desert island. Who do you think the leader would be?
Dipper: I, uh...
Wendy: I think I'd go with this lunatic. (Points at a short, sweaty man dancing)
Dipper: Ha, ha, ha. (Puts list away) I'd probably go for Stretch over there, uh, because tall people can reach coconuts? (points at a tall man doing the moonwalk)
Wendy: Speaking of tall, wanna see something? (Pulls out a picture with her thumb over one of her brothers) Those are my brothers, and I'm, (Lifting her thumb) boooop.
Dipper: Ha, you were a freak! (Covers mouth)
Wendy: Yep.
Dipper: You know, kids used to make fun of my birthmark before I started hiding it all the time.
Wendy: Birthmark?
Dipper: Uh, no! It's nothing! I-I was-I wa–why did I say that?
Wendy: No way, dude! Now you have to show me! Show me, show me!
Dipper: (Lifts his bangs up to show his forehead, revealing a Big Dipper-like birthmark)
Wendy: The Big Dipper! That's how you got your nickname! I thought your parents just hated you or something. Hey, I guess we're both freaks. (They clink cups and laugh as Pacifica exits the bathroom) Wait here? (Goes into the bathroom)
Dipper: Of course.
Tyrone: (Coming in with the rest of the clones behind him) Hey! What are you doing up here? Number 10 has been distracting Soos for 15 minutes; he's gonna get tired of that dot eventually!
Soos: (Off-screen:) Never!
Dipper: You won't believe it guys! I bumped into Wendy accidentally and things are actually going great!
Tyrone: That's nice, but not the plan. Do we have to remind you?
Clones: (Read some steps from the list asynchronously)
Dipper: Oh man, you guys sound crazy. Look, maybe we don't need the plan anymore, you know? Maybe I could just go talk to her like a normal person.
Clones: (Gasp)
Number 7: You bite your tongue!
Number 5: If you're not gonna stick to the plan, maybe you shouldn't be the Dipper to dance with Wendy.
Clones: Yes/If you think about it... Five/Number Five's got a point.
Dipper: Guys, c'mon. We said we weren't gonna turn on each other.
Tyrone: I think we all knew we were lying.
Clones: (Grab Dipper and pull him away)
Dipper: No, no, hey, hey! AAAAAH!
Clones: (Throw Dipper in a closet)
Dipper: No, wait!
Clones: (Close the door)
Dipper: (Trying to trick Tyrone) Ahh, I can't breathe in here!
Tyrone: Yes you can! Plus there's snacks and a coloring book in there for you!
Dipper: (Sigh, eats a cracker angrily) Omnomnom...
Tyrone: Okay, now that Original Dipper or "Dipper Classic" is no longer fit for it, I nominate myself to dance with Wendy instead. I've been around the longest, so it should be me. Right? I mean logically. Logically, guys.
Number 10: Fair point, fair point. Counterpoint, maybe I should get to dance with Wendy because I've been around her the least.
Number 5: That makes, like, zero sense.
Number 10: (Pushes number 5) YOU MAKE ZERO SENSE!
Number 5: (Shoves number 10) Watch it!
Number 6: (Shoves number 5) Don't shove people!
Paper Jam Dipper: NANANANANA-AAAAAAA!
Tyrone: Hey, you want some cheese and crackers, buddy?
Paper Jam Dipper KKSSKSKSS.
Tyrone: (Tries to give Paper Jam Dipper a cracker but realizes he has no mouth) Yikes. (To the rest of the clones:) Hey, guys, what would you do if you were trapped in a closet?
Number 5 to 10: Break out. (Looks at closet to see that it's open)
Tyrone: (Facepalm)
Dipper: (Runs downstairs and to balcony) WEND-!
Number 5: (Covers his mouth and drags him back to the other clones)
Tyrone: C'mon, man. Give it up. You're overpowered.
Dipper: Hold on guys, think about it. We're exact equals mentally and physically. If we start fighting, it'll just go on for infinity.
As the clones agree, Dipper punches Tyrone. The clones stare at them and there is an awkward pause.
Number 9: CLONE FIGHT!
The clones start fighting each other.
Number 5: (Slapping Dipper) Quit hitting myself, quit hitting myself! (Is tackled by Number 8)
Numbers 5 and 8 hold Tyrone back as 10 slaps him in the stomach
Tyrone: Guys guys, c'mon it's me!
As the clones fight, Dipper crawls through the crowd and nearly gets away. They notice Dipper and the fight stops.
Number 10: Hey! Classic Dipper's getting away!
Dipper: No friends, it's me, Number 7.
The clones stare at the real Number 7.
Number 7: (Shaking his head and panicking) That's not me guys, that's not me!
The fake #7 mark on Dipper's hat peels off.
Number 9: Get him!
The clones march toward Dipper cornering him & Dipper backs away from them.
Dipper: Stay back, stay back!
Dipper: (Fires a party popper, which turns on the sprinkler, causing the clones to melt)
Clones: Boo! C'mon! Lame! This stinks! Boo!
Paper Jam Dipper NANANANANANA-KSCKSKSSOSKS
(Subtitled:) It's better this way for Paper Jam Dipper
Dipper: Huh, how 'bout that. (Notices Tyrone standing behind him)
Tyrone: You!
Dipper: Uh-oh.
Cut to the party room. Mabel is doing the worm.
Soos: One more song, dudes, and then it's time for the bestowing of the party crown. It's gonna be the– (plays an explosion sound with the keyboard) Nailed it.
Mabel: Pacifica, I just wanna say that whoever wins, it's been a super fun party.
Pacifica: Tsk. Awwww, it thinks it's gonna win. Hey, did you hear that? (Mabel cups her hand next to her ear) People clapping for the weird girls? Yeah, me neither.
Cut back to Dipper and Tyrone fighting.
Tyrone: Say it! Say I can dance with Wendy!
Dipper: Never!
Dipper and Tyrone: (Hear Wendy laughing and stop fighting) Wendy?
Wendy: (Listening to something Robbie is saying and laughing.) Robbie! (Hits him) Shut up! (Laughs)
Dipper and Tyrone: (Sigh) We blew it, man. (Sit down)
Tyrone: I don't know, you wanna go grab a couple sodas or something?
Cut to the party room.
Soos: Let the party crown voting commence! (plays bell sound)
Pacifica: (Sarcastically:) Good luck, Mabel.
Soos: Applaud to vote for Mabel.
The crowd applauds loudly.
Soos: Let's check the applause meter. (Raises hand) Oh, oh, very good.
Mabel: (Smiles)
Soos: And the next contestant: Pacifica.
The crowd applauds quietly, but Pacifica glares at them angrily. More people reluctantly start to clap for her.
Soos: Uh-oh, a tie! This has like, never happened before.
Pacifica: (Looks around and sees Old Man McGucket sleeping on a bench. She runs to him and gives him a dollar)
Old Man McGucket: (Clapping) Ha! Haha! Hahahahaha!
Soos: Ladies and gentlemen, we-we have a winner. (Disappointed) The winner of the contest is Pacifica Northwest. (Gives Pacifica the crown)
Pacifica: Thank you, Jorge. Thank you, everyone! Everyone comes to the after-party at my parents' boat! Woo-hoo!
Crowd: (Carrying her off) Pacifica! Pacifica! Pacifica!
Mabel: (To Grenda and Candy:) Sorry I let you guys down. I understand if you wanna leave.
Candy: But then, we will miss the sleepover.
Mabel: The what?
Grenda: We want to call our moms and see if we can sleep over here with you. You're like, a total rock star!
Candy: (Pulls a magazine out of her bag) I have magazine boys.
Mabel: Really? You GUUYS!
Candy: Maybe we don't have as many friends as Pacifica, but we have each other, and that is pretty good I think.
Mabel: (to Soos:) Soos! Play another song! This thing's going all night!
Soos: Way ahead of you, hambone. (Plays a song)
Mabel: (Dancing) This is it! This is it!
Candy: (Dancing) Dance! Dance! Dance!
Cut to the roof, Dipper passes Tyrone a can of soda.
Tyrone: Some night, huh?
A shooting star flies across the starry night. Dipper and Tyrone open the cans.
Dipper: You think we even have a chance with Wendy? I mean she's 15, we're 12.
Tyrone: I don't know man, I hope so, but we're making zero progress the way we're doin' it. The only good conversation you had with her is when you didn't do anything in that list stuff.
Dipper: I know. Mabel was right, I do get in my own way.
Dipper and Tyrone: Literally!
Tyrone: Wow! (makes an explosion sound).
Dipper and Tyrone: (Touch cans and drink the soda)
Tyrone: (Stomach melts) Oh boy, don't look now.
Dipper: Tyrone!
Tyrone: It's okay dude, I had a good run. Remember what we talked about.
Dipper: Uh-uh, of course.
Tyrone: Hey, and quit being such a wimp around Wendy okay? For my sake... (Melts completely) BLBLBLBLBLBL!
Dipper: Tyrone! You were the only one who understood. (Pours soda on where Tyrone melted and drinks what's left. He goes to the front door and looks in the window.)
Stan: (Counting money) Hahaha!
Soos is playing music and the girls are dancing. Wendy is by the side nodding her head to the beat. Dipper prepares to go in, then stops and rips up the list and goes inside the shack.
Mabel: Dipper! Where have you been? Meet my girlfriends!
End credits.
Soos: (Presses the keyboard buttons one by one. The last one is the thunder) Found it.
( Gravity Falls )
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