Goddamn right I'm gettin' drunk, you asshole
And I thought I was supposed to be the one who's a tad slow
I'm sure you can tell by my facial expressions
That I've got a severe case of either the room or the head spins
As well as what they call a crippling disease
But that seems silly 'cus I still got my legs and my knees
Its a drinking problem, not type two diabetes
I'm lookin' less Ron Santo and more Ace Freely
I'm not cool enough to feel Gene Simmons
I'll leave that to whatever his skank wife's name is
If I end up famous it'll be for the wrong reasons
Ditchin' Amanda Bynes' corpse off at the Four Seasons
It really was an accident, you see
Poor girl thought she could binge drink with Uncle Tairy
That's a scary proposition for all but a few of my friends, sir
I put the ER in the word bender
I'm gonna drink all the booze in this convenience store
And when they kick me out at two I'mma need more
Go find one that's open 'til four
Stock up and drink 'til I'm at Morality's door
Knock, knock motherfucker
Smack the goodie-two-shoes with a full rubber
Inseminate his sister when the condom breaks
And now they're at the same store paternally testing Fate
Its mine, no support for the child
Your brother's a nice guy, stay with him for a while
I hear he's got no backbone and turns his cheek
That's why I ditch his lame ass every time I wanna drink
(Dude, you stink)
Yea I know it. My pores ooze alcohol and anti-showbiz
I remember being twelve, seein' Jennifer Lopez
And thinkin' I'd need a Steel Reserve to plug her holes in
But my dick wasn't yet the girth of a can
Yet I knew if P.Diddy hit it then I had a chance
So I grabbed a white suit and made a shitty pop song
Shouted out a dead rapper and the masses sang along
Next thing I know I've got a pair of tongs
Pickin' up her contaminated panties at arms length
Now I drink to escape
Lopez Eskimo blisters breakin' out on my face
I've been a disgrace ever since I started poppin' pills
Chasin' it with Jack, vomit on my friend's dad's grill
I'm a DUI without gettin' a DUI
Drunk Inhibited Idiot takin' servers by surprise
Alcoholics arise, awake from your slumber
Grab your superhero livers and cans of boy wonder
And drink yourself under to maintain mental health
If you aren't lettin' go then you aren't bein' yourself
And I thought I was supposed to be the one who's a tad slow
I'm sure you can tell by my facial expressions
That I've got a severe case of either the room or the head spins
As well as what they call a crippling disease
But that seems silly 'cus I still got my legs and my knees
Its a drinking problem, not type two diabetes
I'm lookin' less Ron Santo and more Ace Freely
I'm not cool enough to feel Gene Simmons
I'll leave that to whatever his skank wife's name is
If I end up famous it'll be for the wrong reasons
Ditchin' Amanda Bynes' corpse off at the Four Seasons
It really was an accident, you see
Poor girl thought she could binge drink with Uncle Tairy
That's a scary proposition for all but a few of my friends, sir
I put the ER in the word bender
I'm gonna drink all the booze in this convenience store
And when they kick me out at two I'mma need more
Go find one that's open 'til four
Stock up and drink 'til I'm at Morality's door
Knock, knock motherfucker
Smack the goodie-two-shoes with a full rubber
Inseminate his sister when the condom breaks
And now they're at the same store paternally testing Fate
Its mine, no support for the child
Your brother's a nice guy, stay with him for a while
I hear he's got no backbone and turns his cheek
That's why I ditch his lame ass every time I wanna drink
(Dude, you stink)
Yea I know it. My pores ooze alcohol and anti-showbiz
I remember being twelve, seein' Jennifer Lopez
And thinkin' I'd need a Steel Reserve to plug her holes in
But my dick wasn't yet the girth of a can
Yet I knew if P.Diddy hit it then I had a chance
So I grabbed a white suit and made a shitty pop song
Shouted out a dead rapper and the masses sang along
Next thing I know I've got a pair of tongs
Pickin' up her contaminated panties at arms length
Now I drink to escape
Lopez Eskimo blisters breakin' out on my face
I've been a disgrace ever since I started poppin' pills
Chasin' it with Jack, vomit on my friend's dad's grill
I'm a DUI without gettin' a DUI
Drunk Inhibited Idiot takin' servers by surprise
Alcoholics arise, awake from your slumber
Grab your superhero livers and cans of boy wonder
And drink yourself under to maintain mental health
If you aren't lettin' go then you aren't bein' yourself
( DRTYUNCL )
www.ChordsAZ.com