1.
Interviewer: We're here at The Tortoisean Times interviewing rap superstar Clayton Jokythur, who recently reappeared after more than a year and announced a brand new EP, Tortoise 1.5, for June 18th. So Clayton, where did this EP come from, like, all of a sudden?
Clayton: Well, I was organizing some potential Tortoise II stuff, and it hit me that there was a lot of lyrics or even recorded songs that didn't represent what things were like nowadays, it was mostly stuff from the past, so I decided to get this stuff and put it in an intermediate record, which is Tortoise 1.5.
2.
I: What about Tortoise II then?
CJ: It'll be restarted almost from scratch, meticulously planned, written, recorded and, as much as I'd like to show it to all my fans right now, the quality I intend to give it will make it so that it will have to take its time to be finished. There's not really much to talk about it as there's almost nothing done or even properly planned about it. But I can say, though not guarantee, that I plan on doing some experimentations, different sounds, shit like that. But worry not, as the Clayton you all love will be there for sure, if not an even better version of him. All this worry about the quality and all may seem exaggerated at first sight, but shit man, that may be my goodbye from the rap world, it's gotta be grand!
3.
I: What!? Are you retiring from rap after Tortoise II???
CJ: Well, nothing is for sure, I may and I may not leave the rap scene after Tortoise II, and I acknowledge that by saying this I give people the chance to make jokes saying that I'll never stop rapping haha. But you see, man, you're, what? 50 years old? You're young, you have your whole life in front of you, you have a lot of shit you'll still do and go through... Me? I'm more than fucking 70, I mean, half of my life is past, even more... I've been through a LOT of things, heck, I've even been a politician AND a military at different times. Rapping takes a lot of you, even more if you wanna make something as nice as what Tortoise II will be; thinking, writing, recording, touring. The time will come when all of this is just too much for me, and I'm one of those people who'd rather "die as hero than see myself become a villain", as said in that awesome Batman film. So, yeah, [Tortoise II] MAY end my rapping career, but, as I like to say, it also may not.
4.
I: Ok, back to the EP. Why make it an EP if it's that big? I mean, why not just call it a mixtape or even a free album, since you said it has to be free 'cause of that sample stuff anyway?
CJ: You see, this is part of my marketing; I can't explain it to you as it'd ruin all the plan I and my assessors made for this record. Of course, this was a play that became possible only because of the sample issues. To be honest, getting the samples cleared was a matter of time, but as I wanted to deliver something fast, I opted not to wait until they were cleared. Thus, it is free and, because of this AND marketing schemes which will be very successful, as you'll see, it became an EP. Also, I followed the example my bro Kendrick Lamar gave when he made a very big EP and didn't give a fuck about what people thought of this. So long as it's good, who cares what it is classified as, right?
5.
I: And this samples, could you tell us from what songs they are? Or artist? Just a little peek at this upcoming record?
CJ: Well, I have been insistently instructed by my assessors so as not to reveal any information, as it would, according to them, be harmful to all the process surrounding the release of Tortoise 1.5. But this interview has been going nice, and I'm pretty sure it won't hurt nobody or nothing if I tell you just a tiny detail. So here it is: there is a Jay-Z sample.
6.
I: There's been some rumors about what you've been doing for the last year or so and why it has mostly kept you away from releasing new music or even being much seen around; could you tell us what it was that you were doing?
CJ: Well, I'll be honest with you, it's no secret after all; I mean, it is, since you apparently don't know... Ok, what I was doing was studying. I felt like studies weren't part of what made my character; wars, drugs, fame, a lot of things made me who I am, but not my studies. And people in the movies always stressed about the importance of studying, of having this knowledge you can use in so many different situations; even Kanye says some shit like that in College Dropout! So I thought "well, I think I should study", and this idea got control of my mind and made me forget about a lot of other things, such as rap - and I apologize for that - and I went there and studied. I went to my 2nd favorite country, Brazil, found a nice place to study and did it; of course, with this little time I couldn't become any expert or whatever, but I learned a lot of valuable lessons and gained important knowledge which I know will help me a lot of times, even with rap for example.
7.
I: And this place in which you studied...? Can you tell us the name?
CJ: I'm sorry man, I signed a contract that didn't let me say I went there, can't say nothing about this, except it's in São Paulo.
8.
I: Since you mentioned, what do you like about Brazil?
CJ: Oh man, a lot of stuff! There's those paradisiac beaches, full of alcohol, drugs, bad bitches, it's like... Wow! You should go there. There are a lot of nice cities to visit, incredibly nice people, even those who aren't super hot girls! And there's some nice regional music; every place you go has its own touch to the music made there, it's so very interesting for me as an artist, you know? And then there's soccer, man, you should see how well people play there, you wouldn't even believe, it's fucking incredible! I was once invited to watch a simple high school tournament in São Paulo, which by the way is home for the team with the same name that is undoubtedly the best in the country, you have probably heard about it. Anyway, I went there to watch this match of 17-year-olds, and man, was I stunned! The kids made magic with that ball, it was unbelievable, you should have seen it. If I'm not mistaken the name of the team that played the best was 8 Pac, a tribute to our beloved Shakur. The other team was something arab, Al Bottle maybe? I don't know for sure, I just remember that there were a lot of fat boys in that team, but they were very good nonetheless. Albeit compared do 8 Pac, they were total shit. This Pac team had a player, a tall guy, shirt number four I think, man, he was a fucking myth! He was a defender, but he passed, crossed, and scored some gorgeous goals. Also he knew some skill moves so complicated that I couldn't even understand what he was doing. I remember wishing I was him, just for that moment...
9.
I: Now Clayton, tell us more about your music. It has been said that you belong to that "category" of rappers that are too "material", talk about money, hoes and...just that. Your fans disagree, but what do you have to say about the matter?
CJ: Look man, I don't know who said that shit, and I don't even want you to tell me, otherwise you'll tempt me to go there and beat him up so hard he won't even remember having said such bullshit. But ok, if you want more of a direct comment, here it goes: I am in no way that kind of rapper. I have been through a whole lot of stuff in my life and I have all of it to talk about, and the "money and hoes" are a part of it, but honestly, as good as that can be, if it comes to importance, that's by far just the tip of the iceberg of what my life has been about till now. I have plenty of experience to tell about friendship, about pain, about my country, about justice and equality, about the mother of those who dared labeling me as "material", about grocery fucking bags... Even about love maybe...
10.
I: Well that's great! And since you just mentioned it, about love... There has been rumors about you dating Rihanna and having some trouble with Chris Brown, is that real? The tabloids are dying to know.
CJ: What the fuck man? Rihanna? No, these tabloids, tablets, whatever, must be smoking some crack, I would never date Rihanna, no matter how hot she is, I felt greatly disturbed by the news that she was doing some of that S&M shit with tortoises. I'm not into this, to hell with 50 shades of grey, I didn't like this attitude of hers not a bit. Of course, now you say, I recall a party in which we MAY have settled this uncomfortable situation with some sexual stuff... Hmm, and maybe Chris got a little pissed, but if I remember correctly it was more because I said that I wasn't with him on "Grindin' Overseas", since that fake-red-headed bitch loves fucking other guys. You can tell those tabloids I'm 99% sure she fucked Drake and J. Cole and maybe even Kendrick Lamar, if not more than one of them at once. Anyway, Chris is my homie, he just got a little mad for having too many drinks and "not being with me" on the song, and just maybe also because RiRi was all like "oh, I can't sit down, oh!" or something like that... But Chris and I are still homies, we've already left our problems behind.
11.
I: The "Abercrombie & Fitch guy", or "lbicha" which often appears in song is some kind of personal enemy? Can you tell us something about him?
CJ: Oh man, I don't like to talk about this... I can assure you he's a motherfucking bastard that should be hated by everyone, but...my history with him goes back to my time at [human] school. He didn't find it very normal for a Tortoise to be at a human's school, even more with the tortoise being stronger and smarter than him. So we had quite a few misunderstandments, with the result not being very nice for either of us... But I really don 't want to talk about that bitch...
12.
I: And the brand itself? A&F? Anything against it?
CJ: Nah, their clothes are very cool, I just don't think ther are cool enough to appear on my albums/mixtapes/singles/EPs cover... I mean, ok, it's nice, but hey, how could it stand a chance against my bare body?? I'll tell you something I don't tell a lot of people, but you made me remember, so... When I was 26, at the highest of mt hotness (which is not very different from now), I was offered to work for A&F, being one of those models that stand still on the store entrance to attract dumb girls that just wanna know about the man's body (or gay men, whatever). I obviously declined the offer, but it got me thinking...can you imagine how many dumb girls would have gone there just to see (maybe touch?) my delicious body? Yeah man, a whole fucking lot! Maybe I could even manage to take some of them home, though the offer clearly stated that this was not allowed. Oh well, I'm way better not having done this.
13.
I: Talking about music, what do you like?
CJ: Hmm, first of all, myself of course. It's so great to listen to your own music haha. But, I like a looot of other rappers, so I won't list 'em just because I may forget someone and then I don't want 'em to be mad because I forgot. So, leaving rap aside, I mostly like Rock. I also listen to some pop or electronic music sometimes, but I don't really like it, unless it's some very good singer like Skylar Grey for instance. But, back to Rock, I like great guitar solos, even bass solos, I find it very beautiful and nice, I wish I were a rockstar sometimes, but then I remeber I'm a rapstar so I feel fine.
14.
I: Do you think there's room for a greater intercation between rap and rock?
CJ: Hell yeah I do, I mean, hip hop beats that have a guitar, as simple as it may be, so long as it's not exaggerated, and even better if it's beautiful melody or solo, are the best ones in my opinion. If I could the play the guitar, I'd surely make way better beats, I tell you. Who know, maybe one day I'll learn it. I think rappers and rockstars and guitar players and everyone, whatever, should take a more careful look at his thoughts on this interaction, 'cause I tell you, if it happens more often, we'll see nothing but great results. Shout out to my nigga Leo!
15.
I: Just to finish... I have a friend who's studying to become a jornalist, he actually lives in Brazil, in the South of the country, and he needs to do an essay on grocery bags and their impact on the modern world. You, being a kind of expert in the subject, should have very valuable words about it. Do you mind sharing some to help this friend of mine?
CJ: No problem man. [COF COF COF! HUM HUM.....] Well, grocery bags are, in my humble-but-valuable-according-to-you opinion, a revolution apart. Apart from all the industrial revolutions and these shits, you know. Grocery bags at first sight have a simple and single purpose: storing your groceries. But it goes far beyond that. I mean, nowadays you see such strange things on the streets, things you would have never thinked of doing, like giving objects a totally different meaning than they first had, that I don't even have to tell you the thousands of uses a grocery bag can have, you can surely figure them out on your own, or go the street and do a field research. But, just for the sake of leaving the abstract field, I can say an example of a different use for grocery bags, which is actually something you have probably already seen once, although you probably wouldn't remember by just thinking about grocery bags. Well, here it is: using it on your head, like a disguise or something; ask children, you make two little holes for the eyes, two more for the nostrils, one for the mouth, and done, there is your grocery-bag mask, or...whatever you wanna call it. But this matter of different uses isn't the main part of my argument. The revolution of grocery bags is, in some kinds, metaforical. A light peace of paper, industrially folded and shaped, made to resist the weight of the provisions you buy and deliver them, along with you, or the deliveryman, safely back home. I mean, stop for a while and think about it, about what that represents to rational beings. You always need to take things with you, wherever you go or wherever your life is taking you; and, mostly, it is not just a few things that go with you, it's a lot, it's complicated, it's hard to carry all of it without losing something or having to do a lot of effort. But then, out of nowhere, or out of the progress of civilization, whatever, comes a bag, a bag in which you can store various things, that will resist the gravity, the force trying to rip it apart, and will store your things in a practical, orderly way and endure the challenge of the process of carrying them and not staying still out of fear that they may be lost or broken or whatever. The grocery bag holds everything together. Now tell me that ain't revolutionary?
I: Ok, this ends our exclusive interview with Clayton Jokythur, be sure to stay tuned for the other news he's posting "one-and-a-half-day"ly on Twitter and, of course, for the official release of Tortoise 1.5 on the 18th. Thank you very much Clayton!
CJ: You're welcome. Tortoise 1.5 coming, bitches!
Interviewer: We're here at The Tortoisean Times interviewing rap superstar Clayton Jokythur, who recently reappeared after more than a year and announced a brand new EP, Tortoise 1.5, for June 18th. So Clayton, where did this EP come from, like, all of a sudden?
Clayton: Well, I was organizing some potential Tortoise II stuff, and it hit me that there was a lot of lyrics or even recorded songs that didn't represent what things were like nowadays, it was mostly stuff from the past, so I decided to get this stuff and put it in an intermediate record, which is Tortoise 1.5.
2.
I: What about Tortoise II then?
CJ: It'll be restarted almost from scratch, meticulously planned, written, recorded and, as much as I'd like to show it to all my fans right now, the quality I intend to give it will make it so that it will have to take its time to be finished. There's not really much to talk about it as there's almost nothing done or even properly planned about it. But I can say, though not guarantee, that I plan on doing some experimentations, different sounds, shit like that. But worry not, as the Clayton you all love will be there for sure, if not an even better version of him. All this worry about the quality and all may seem exaggerated at first sight, but shit man, that may be my goodbye from the rap world, it's gotta be grand!
3.
I: What!? Are you retiring from rap after Tortoise II???
CJ: Well, nothing is for sure, I may and I may not leave the rap scene after Tortoise II, and I acknowledge that by saying this I give people the chance to make jokes saying that I'll never stop rapping haha. But you see, man, you're, what? 50 years old? You're young, you have your whole life in front of you, you have a lot of shit you'll still do and go through... Me? I'm more than fucking 70, I mean, half of my life is past, even more... I've been through a LOT of things, heck, I've even been a politician AND a military at different times. Rapping takes a lot of you, even more if you wanna make something as nice as what Tortoise II will be; thinking, writing, recording, touring. The time will come when all of this is just too much for me, and I'm one of those people who'd rather "die as hero than see myself become a villain", as said in that awesome Batman film. So, yeah, [Tortoise II] MAY end my rapping career, but, as I like to say, it also may not.
4.
I: Ok, back to the EP. Why make it an EP if it's that big? I mean, why not just call it a mixtape or even a free album, since you said it has to be free 'cause of that sample stuff anyway?
CJ: You see, this is part of my marketing; I can't explain it to you as it'd ruin all the plan I and my assessors made for this record. Of course, this was a play that became possible only because of the sample issues. To be honest, getting the samples cleared was a matter of time, but as I wanted to deliver something fast, I opted not to wait until they were cleared. Thus, it is free and, because of this AND marketing schemes which will be very successful, as you'll see, it became an EP. Also, I followed the example my bro Kendrick Lamar gave when he made a very big EP and didn't give a fuck about what people thought of this. So long as it's good, who cares what it is classified as, right?
5.
I: And this samples, could you tell us from what songs they are? Or artist? Just a little peek at this upcoming record?
CJ: Well, I have been insistently instructed by my assessors so as not to reveal any information, as it would, according to them, be harmful to all the process surrounding the release of Tortoise 1.5. But this interview has been going nice, and I'm pretty sure it won't hurt nobody or nothing if I tell you just a tiny detail. So here it is: there is a Jay-Z sample.
6.
I: There's been some rumors about what you've been doing for the last year or so and why it has mostly kept you away from releasing new music or even being much seen around; could you tell us what it was that you were doing?
CJ: Well, I'll be honest with you, it's no secret after all; I mean, it is, since you apparently don't know... Ok, what I was doing was studying. I felt like studies weren't part of what made my character; wars, drugs, fame, a lot of things made me who I am, but not my studies. And people in the movies always stressed about the importance of studying, of having this knowledge you can use in so many different situations; even Kanye says some shit like that in College Dropout! So I thought "well, I think I should study", and this idea got control of my mind and made me forget about a lot of other things, such as rap - and I apologize for that - and I went there and studied. I went to my 2nd favorite country, Brazil, found a nice place to study and did it; of course, with this little time I couldn't become any expert or whatever, but I learned a lot of valuable lessons and gained important knowledge which I know will help me a lot of times, even with rap for example.
7.
I: And this place in which you studied...? Can you tell us the name?
CJ: I'm sorry man, I signed a contract that didn't let me say I went there, can't say nothing about this, except it's in São Paulo.
8.
I: Since you mentioned, what do you like about Brazil?
CJ: Oh man, a lot of stuff! There's those paradisiac beaches, full of alcohol, drugs, bad bitches, it's like... Wow! You should go there. There are a lot of nice cities to visit, incredibly nice people, even those who aren't super hot girls! And there's some nice regional music; every place you go has its own touch to the music made there, it's so very interesting for me as an artist, you know? And then there's soccer, man, you should see how well people play there, you wouldn't even believe, it's fucking incredible! I was once invited to watch a simple high school tournament in São Paulo, which by the way is home for the team with the same name that is undoubtedly the best in the country, you have probably heard about it. Anyway, I went there to watch this match of 17-year-olds, and man, was I stunned! The kids made magic with that ball, it was unbelievable, you should have seen it. If I'm not mistaken the name of the team that played the best was 8 Pac, a tribute to our beloved Shakur. The other team was something arab, Al Bottle maybe? I don't know for sure, I just remember that there were a lot of fat boys in that team, but they were very good nonetheless. Albeit compared do 8 Pac, they were total shit. This Pac team had a player, a tall guy, shirt number four I think, man, he was a fucking myth! He was a defender, but he passed, crossed, and scored some gorgeous goals. Also he knew some skill moves so complicated that I couldn't even understand what he was doing. I remember wishing I was him, just for that moment...
9.
I: Now Clayton, tell us more about your music. It has been said that you belong to that "category" of rappers that are too "material", talk about money, hoes and...just that. Your fans disagree, but what do you have to say about the matter?
CJ: Look man, I don't know who said that shit, and I don't even want you to tell me, otherwise you'll tempt me to go there and beat him up so hard he won't even remember having said such bullshit. But ok, if you want more of a direct comment, here it goes: I am in no way that kind of rapper. I have been through a whole lot of stuff in my life and I have all of it to talk about, and the "money and hoes" are a part of it, but honestly, as good as that can be, if it comes to importance, that's by far just the tip of the iceberg of what my life has been about till now. I have plenty of experience to tell about friendship, about pain, about my country, about justice and equality, about the mother of those who dared labeling me as "material", about grocery fucking bags... Even about love maybe...
10.
I: Well that's great! And since you just mentioned it, about love... There has been rumors about you dating Rihanna and having some trouble with Chris Brown, is that real? The tabloids are dying to know.
CJ: What the fuck man? Rihanna? No, these tabloids, tablets, whatever, must be smoking some crack, I would never date Rihanna, no matter how hot she is, I felt greatly disturbed by the news that she was doing some of that S&M shit with tortoises. I'm not into this, to hell with 50 shades of grey, I didn't like this attitude of hers not a bit. Of course, now you say, I recall a party in which we MAY have settled this uncomfortable situation with some sexual stuff... Hmm, and maybe Chris got a little pissed, but if I remember correctly it was more because I said that I wasn't with him on "Grindin' Overseas", since that fake-red-headed bitch loves fucking other guys. You can tell those tabloids I'm 99% sure she fucked Drake and J. Cole and maybe even Kendrick Lamar, if not more than one of them at once. Anyway, Chris is my homie, he just got a little mad for having too many drinks and "not being with me" on the song, and just maybe also because RiRi was all like "oh, I can't sit down, oh!" or something like that... But Chris and I are still homies, we've already left our problems behind.
11.
I: The "Abercrombie & Fitch guy", or "lbicha" which often appears in song is some kind of personal enemy? Can you tell us something about him?
CJ: Oh man, I don't like to talk about this... I can assure you he's a motherfucking bastard that should be hated by everyone, but...my history with him goes back to my time at [human] school. He didn't find it very normal for a Tortoise to be at a human's school, even more with the tortoise being stronger and smarter than him. So we had quite a few misunderstandments, with the result not being very nice for either of us... But I really don 't want to talk about that bitch...
12.
I: And the brand itself? A&F? Anything against it?
CJ: Nah, their clothes are very cool, I just don't think ther are cool enough to appear on my albums/mixtapes/singles/EPs cover... I mean, ok, it's nice, but hey, how could it stand a chance against my bare body?? I'll tell you something I don't tell a lot of people, but you made me remember, so... When I was 26, at the highest of mt hotness (which is not very different from now), I was offered to work for A&F, being one of those models that stand still on the store entrance to attract dumb girls that just wanna know about the man's body (or gay men, whatever). I obviously declined the offer, but it got me thinking...can you imagine how many dumb girls would have gone there just to see (maybe touch?) my delicious body? Yeah man, a whole fucking lot! Maybe I could even manage to take some of them home, though the offer clearly stated that this was not allowed. Oh well, I'm way better not having done this.
13.
I: Talking about music, what do you like?
CJ: Hmm, first of all, myself of course. It's so great to listen to your own music haha. But, I like a looot of other rappers, so I won't list 'em just because I may forget someone and then I don't want 'em to be mad because I forgot. So, leaving rap aside, I mostly like Rock. I also listen to some pop or electronic music sometimes, but I don't really like it, unless it's some very good singer like Skylar Grey for instance. But, back to Rock, I like great guitar solos, even bass solos, I find it very beautiful and nice, I wish I were a rockstar sometimes, but then I remeber I'm a rapstar so I feel fine.
14.
I: Do you think there's room for a greater intercation between rap and rock?
CJ: Hell yeah I do, I mean, hip hop beats that have a guitar, as simple as it may be, so long as it's not exaggerated, and even better if it's beautiful melody or solo, are the best ones in my opinion. If I could the play the guitar, I'd surely make way better beats, I tell you. Who know, maybe one day I'll learn it. I think rappers and rockstars and guitar players and everyone, whatever, should take a more careful look at his thoughts on this interaction, 'cause I tell you, if it happens more often, we'll see nothing but great results. Shout out to my nigga Leo!
15.
I: Just to finish... I have a friend who's studying to become a jornalist, he actually lives in Brazil, in the South of the country, and he needs to do an essay on grocery bags and their impact on the modern world. You, being a kind of expert in the subject, should have very valuable words about it. Do you mind sharing some to help this friend of mine?
CJ: No problem man. [COF COF COF! HUM HUM.....] Well, grocery bags are, in my humble-but-valuable-according-to-you opinion, a revolution apart. Apart from all the industrial revolutions and these shits, you know. Grocery bags at first sight have a simple and single purpose: storing your groceries. But it goes far beyond that. I mean, nowadays you see such strange things on the streets, things you would have never thinked of doing, like giving objects a totally different meaning than they first had, that I don't even have to tell you the thousands of uses a grocery bag can have, you can surely figure them out on your own, or go the street and do a field research. But, just for the sake of leaving the abstract field, I can say an example of a different use for grocery bags, which is actually something you have probably already seen once, although you probably wouldn't remember by just thinking about grocery bags. Well, here it is: using it on your head, like a disguise or something; ask children, you make two little holes for the eyes, two more for the nostrils, one for the mouth, and done, there is your grocery-bag mask, or...whatever you wanna call it. But this matter of different uses isn't the main part of my argument. The revolution of grocery bags is, in some kinds, metaforical. A light peace of paper, industrially folded and shaped, made to resist the weight of the provisions you buy and deliver them, along with you, or the deliveryman, safely back home. I mean, stop for a while and think about it, about what that represents to rational beings. You always need to take things with you, wherever you go or wherever your life is taking you; and, mostly, it is not just a few things that go with you, it's a lot, it's complicated, it's hard to carry all of it without losing something or having to do a lot of effort. But then, out of nowhere, or out of the progress of civilization, whatever, comes a bag, a bag in which you can store various things, that will resist the gravity, the force trying to rip it apart, and will store your things in a practical, orderly way and endure the challenge of the process of carrying them and not staying still out of fear that they may be lost or broken or whatever. The grocery bag holds everything together. Now tell me that ain't revolutionary?
I: Ok, this ends our exclusive interview with Clayton Jokythur, be sure to stay tuned for the other news he's posting "one-and-a-half-day"ly on Twitter and, of course, for the official release of Tortoise 1.5 on the 18th. Thank you very much Clayton!
CJ: You're welcome. Tortoise 1.5 coming, bitches!
( Clayton Jokythur )
www.ChordsAZ.com