[Lyric] Hell Froze Over Today (The Foremen)

[Spoken intro]
Well I don't know if you read about this
But the law of gravity expires soon
And Congress is working overtime on new gravity legislation
That says you can stay on the Earth, that's okay
But if you haven't found a job after two years
Pfft, you float away
Anyway, here's a song about a lot of other stories in today's newspaper that you may not have read about

[Verse 1]
They installed a condom dispenser at the Vatican
Yasser Arafat said he'd never wear that hat again
Germans gave every Holocaust survivor a Mercedes-Benz
And the Tutsis and the Hutus madе amends

[Chorus]
Hell froze ovеr today
And I made good on several debts I never thought I'd have to pay
They discovered Jimmy Hoffa in a houseboat on Lake Erie
Someone proved conclusively the single-bullet theory was wrong
[Verse 2]
Woody Allen walked hand-in-hand with Louis Farrakhan
Face the Nation had Cindy Crawford and Bo Derek on
The Earth fell out of its orbit and careened into the sun
And Bob Dole ran for president and won

[Chorus]
Hell froze over today
And I made good on several debts I never thought I'd have to pay
They awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor to Timothy Leary
Someone proved conclusively the single-bullet theory was wrong

[Bridge]
Uncle Sam made reparations for repressions great and small
By creating a society with liberty and dignity
And equal opportunity and justice for all

[Verse 3]
Well that Earth Goddess program on Channel 3 went national
Iran and Iraq became one country called Irrational
Every commuter in greater Los Angeles learned how to ride the bus
And the rich folks said "please tax the shit out of us"

[Chorus]
Hell froze over today
And I made good on several debts I never thought I'd have to pay
They served something tasty and nutritious in a high school cafeteria
Someone proved conclusively the single-bullet theory
Yeah, someone proved conclusively the single-bullet theory
Was wrong