[Verse 1]
I know what I'm here to do. Don't you tell me different
All these years I been lost. Thought that there was something missin'
Coastin' through my life. Not thinking what I wanna be
I gotta choose based on what my mom and dad wanted me
Versus my undecided mind. I gotta think
Is there something that separates me from the brink
Of all this normalcy? I don't wanna be like everybody else
I wanna show the world that I'm not afraid to be myself
I just wanna stand out and walk to my own beat
Make an impact on some lives. I gotta eat
I gotta feed my family. I appreciate the sacrifices
That they made for me growing up. Their love's enticing
Made me wanna work to the bone to earn my way
In this life and provide for everyone to be ok
I saw the opportunity with what I could achieve
With my raps. I studied everything and didn't sleep
From the flow to the message. I had to make it perfect
Step by step. Every piece. I had to learn it
I dropped all my friends to dedicate myself
To this music. I studied on my own with some help
It became my life and it made me really hate
Where I was in the moment. Then I had to face
All these demons that I thought I never had
Being so depressed. I was always so sad
I lied to my family. Told them I was fine
Even though I was slowly dying on the inside
I had to find a way how to get it off my chest
Without being judged. I was sick and so stressed
With everything around me. The world is so dark
Through my eyes. I don't think that I can be the spark
I think about X, Lil Peep, and Juice
I balled my fuckin' eyes out when I got the news
Of Kobe and his daughter dying. This life sucks
Why'd you take 'em God? Everything is fucked up
If those 5 are not alive, then I don't wanna be either
The world is not for me. I don't wanna this shit neither
All I do is breakdown and hate myself
There's only so much I can do. I never feel well
I got a knife in my room I tried to cut my arm with
Almost went through with it until my fuckin' heart split
I put that shit away. This is tough for me to handle
All I do is melt like some wax off a candle
I know I'm unstable. But the people that I've met
Made me this way. Don't make me put a rope around my neck
And try to end it. This world is not a place for me
Too much for me stomach. Can't you see
All this shit that's been goin' on? Too many innocent
Lives being taken by a pig. I'm sick of witnessin'
All these black lives being erased every second
By a crooked cop and their piss poor weapon
Seein' this makes me hate the fact that I'm white
I'm the opposite of you scumbags who take flight
And try to ruin everything for all of us
Now you wonder why we always have to discuss
This every single chance that we get
I don't understand. I'm fuckin' tired of this shit
While I got that on my mind, I got something outweighing it
Think that it's regret. But I know I keep surveying it
I think about the time that I abandoned you
Cause I met some other people who were not a fan of you
I was desperate at the time to feel wanted
I been alone for so long. Let me be one hundred
You reached out to me when nobody else would
We were real tight. We were both misunderstood
You got to know me and I got to know you
You let me crash on your couch. So I thank you
For everything you did for me. I wish I could've been a better friend
Like you were to me. I hated seein' this end
I apologize for the way I left you
I hope you're doing good. Wishing nothin' but the best for you
I know you're doing better than I am
Everything is crashing. Just suffocate me in the sand
My grandpa is dead and I don't have a job anymore
I just feel lost without an answer to explore
I just wish something would go my way for once
I'm sick of all the let downs every fuckin' month
I will not escape this cause all it does is follow me
Every fuckin' time. But I always hear it callin' me
It's never gonna stop. So I might as well accept it
This is who I am. So I guess I can't deflect it
I know what I'm here to do. Don't you tell me different
All these years I been lost. Thought that there was something missin'
Coastin' through my life. Not thinking what I wanna be
I gotta choose based on what my mom and dad wanted me
Versus my undecided mind. I gotta think
Is there something that separates me from the brink
Of all this normalcy? I don't wanna be like everybody else
I wanna show the world that I'm not afraid to be myself
I just wanna stand out and walk to my own beat
Make an impact on some lives. I gotta eat
I gotta feed my family. I appreciate the sacrifices
That they made for me growing up. Their love's enticing
Made me wanna work to the bone to earn my way
In this life and provide for everyone to be ok
I saw the opportunity with what I could achieve
With my raps. I studied everything and didn't sleep
From the flow to the message. I had to make it perfect
Step by step. Every piece. I had to learn it
I dropped all my friends to dedicate myself
To this music. I studied on my own with some help
It became my life and it made me really hate
Where I was in the moment. Then I had to face
All these demons that I thought I never had
Being so depressed. I was always so sad
I lied to my family. Told them I was fine
Even though I was slowly dying on the inside
I had to find a way how to get it off my chest
Without being judged. I was sick and so stressed
With everything around me. The world is so dark
Through my eyes. I don't think that I can be the spark
I think about X, Lil Peep, and Juice
I balled my fuckin' eyes out when I got the news
Of Kobe and his daughter dying. This life sucks
Why'd you take 'em God? Everything is fucked up
If those 5 are not alive, then I don't wanna be either
The world is not for me. I don't wanna this shit neither
All I do is breakdown and hate myself
There's only so much I can do. I never feel well
I got a knife in my room I tried to cut my arm with
Almost went through with it until my fuckin' heart split
I put that shit away. This is tough for me to handle
All I do is melt like some wax off a candle
I know I'm unstable. But the people that I've met
Made me this way. Don't make me put a rope around my neck
And try to end it. This world is not a place for me
Too much for me stomach. Can't you see
All this shit that's been goin' on? Too many innocent
Lives being taken by a pig. I'm sick of witnessin'
All these black lives being erased every second
By a crooked cop and their piss poor weapon
Seein' this makes me hate the fact that I'm white
I'm the opposite of you scumbags who take flight
And try to ruin everything for all of us
Now you wonder why we always have to discuss
This every single chance that we get
I don't understand. I'm fuckin' tired of this shit
While I got that on my mind, I got something outweighing it
Think that it's regret. But I know I keep surveying it
I think about the time that I abandoned you
Cause I met some other people who were not a fan of you
I was desperate at the time to feel wanted
I been alone for so long. Let me be one hundred
You reached out to me when nobody else would
We were real tight. We were both misunderstood
You got to know me and I got to know you
You let me crash on your couch. So I thank you
For everything you did for me. I wish I could've been a better friend
Like you were to me. I hated seein' this end
I apologize for the way I left you
I hope you're doing good. Wishing nothin' but the best for you
I know you're doing better than I am
Everything is crashing. Just suffocate me in the sand
My grandpa is dead and I don't have a job anymore
I just feel lost without an answer to explore
I just wish something would go my way for once
I'm sick of all the let downs every fuckin' month
I will not escape this cause all it does is follow me
Every fuckin' time. But I always hear it callin' me
It's never gonna stop. So I might as well accept it
This is who I am. So I guess I can't deflect it
( Satisfy )
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