[Lyric] Lo​-​Pie Beats To Listen To While Baking a Pie​/​Eating a Pie​/​Ascending Episode 3 (Philly Pies)

You suck at cooking, yeah you totally suck

So, we're gonna get the pie crust ready here
You wanna take four or five slices of whole-grain bread
Cut off the crust, and then gently press that into a pie shell
Just keep spinning and pressing until you get a nice, smooth texture
And then brush off the extra crust, and there's your shell

So we're gonna take our wild pumpkin and cut the top off, and slide that can out
Give it a good rinse to get the guts off it
Get that pumpkin into a bowl
We're gonna throw in two bagged eggs
3/4 cup of white sugar, this'll help the pie to taste just a touch sweeter
Half a teaspoon of salt
And the spices

So we're gonna use 2 1/4 teaspoons of pumpkin pie spice
And we just wanna wang-jang all this together really good
And once you've got that mixed, pouring it into another bowl is totally unnecessary

In my family we usually add the cream directly from the udder of a cow
But since I can't fit a cow in my kitchen
I've got this condiment squeezer
And I'm just gonna squeeze the udder while I slowly mix in the cream
Until that's way soupier than you would ever expect
You're gonna be like "no way is this a pie filling"
But guess what, you're wrong, it's a pie filling
Ondo's on 420-fundo
And we're gonna cook that for 15 minutes at this hot temperature
So that way we can get maximum crispy crustitude
And then, after 15 minutes we're gonna lower that to 350
And you'll bake that between 30 and 45 minutes

The way you're gonna test this is by checking for the wobble
Just give it a hit and if there's still a significant wobble, that pie's not cooked all the way through
You want some turgidiness in the wobbliness and the jiggliness of the pumpkin pie filling
That's how you know it's done

And then once it's done you're gonna leave that to sit for at least an hour, if not longer
And then all you have to do is decide how you wanna whipped cream it

You can do the mohawk
The fluffy bake cloud
The stupid
Feel free to do the rim job
You can go with the nihilist
The volcano
Or the anarchist

You're gonna be like "no way is this a pie filling"
But guess what, you're wrong, it's a pie filling