Title: One-Two-Three Go... Previously on Suits
RACHEL: I have a list here of the signing bonuses of the top three associates who have come into this firm. An advance plus my salary will cover my tuition.
JESSICA: Those numbers don't add up.
RACHEL: Summer associates work as lawyers, and I can do the same.
JONATHAN SIDWELL: It's an offer letter. We're investment bankers. Our job blows yours out of the water.
DONNA: Harvey, Stephanie Liston just called me. She said they just brought Mike in for questioning.
ERIC WOODALL: You're a dirty lawyer, and now you're on my radar.
MIKE: I'm tired of putting the people I care about in jeopardy. I called Jonathan Sidwell this afternoon. I took the job.
HARVEY: Mike Ross never went to law school. I knew it, and I hired him anyway.
SCOTTY: Whispering I still can't stay, Harvey.
HARVEY: I'm sorry.
MIKE: Give me permission to go.
Opening Montage
[Rachel gets out of the shower as Mike is still lying in bed]
MIKE: Going to work or school?
RACHEL: Both.
MIKE: Think you have time for some of this?
RACHEL: Laughs Maybe if you will loan me your limo.
MIKE: Hmm. I'm sure we can work something out.
RACHEL: Mm-hmm.
CUT TO: JEFF MALONE'S APARTMENT
[Before she leaves, Jessica places a note saying "Thursday 9PM, Casablanca and Apocalypse Now" on Jeff's pillow]
CUT TO: HARVEY'S APARTMENT
HARVEY: Thought you were getting dressed.
WOMAN: I did get dressed.
HARVEY: And then you got undressed.
WOMAN: I got a little hot.
HARVEY: Yes. You did.
[The woman removes her bra]
HARVEY: Come to think of it, it is getting a little warm in here.
End of Opening Montage
[Mike enters the conference room where WALTER Gillis is waiting]
MIKE: Mr. Gillis. Mike Ross. Nice to meet you.
WALTER GILLIS: You should know I'm only doing this as a courtesy to Jonathan Sidwell. But I'll tell you right now, the answer is no.
MIKE: Good.
WALTER GILLIS: Why good?
MIKE: Because a yes is always so much better when it starts as a no.
WALTER GILLIS: You're a confident young man, but I know what my distribution centers are worth.
MIKE: You know what they're worth to you. This is what they're worth to me.
WALTER GILLIS: This is bigger than I expected.
MIKE: I've heard that before.
WALTER GILLIS: Okay, fun time's over. I'm not interested in selling to someone who I don't know where they're coming from.
MIKE: Let me tell you where I'm coming from. I do my homework. These centers are a beacon to every predator out there that you haven't laid the groundwork to get out of the DVD business.
WALTER GILLIS: Sounds to me like where you're coming from is trying to scare me.
MIKE: No, no, I'm not trying to scare you. I'm trying to help you. They're circling, and you know it. You don't do this, you might as well send out an invitation asking for a hostile takeover.
WALTER GILLIS: This number can't be real.
MIKE: It is.
WALTER GILLIS: Then what the hell are you gonna do with my distribution centers?
MIKE: I'll be happy to tell you that five seconds after I buy them. Walter, I know you want your people to be okay, and I give you my word they will be. But these centers have become a headache, and you need cash for when those predators come knocking.
WALTER GILLIS: Let them knock. I'm not answering the door.
MIKE: No, you're not hearing me. If you don't raise enough money, they're coming in whether you answer that door or not. The offer's good for another hour.
[Mike leaves the conference room]
CUT TO: HARVEY'S OFFICE
JESSICA: You are not my hair-gelled partner in crime.
RACHEL: I haven't used hair gel since ninth grade. I was trying to avoid the frizzy look.
JESSICA: Where is he?
RACHEL: Donna said that he had a morning meeting outside of the office.
JESSICA: And where is Donna?
[Donna enters the office]
DONNA: Right here. I prefer to appear at the exact moment I'm needed.
JESSICA: I wish I could say the same for Harvey.
DONNA: Oh, well, Harvey has a very--
JESSICA: Interrupts Donna Save it. She may have been born yesterday, but I know that morning meeting doesn't mean "morning meeting."
RACHEL: Everyone knows that. It's just not my place to say it.
DONNA: Not mine either. He did it yesterday too.
JESSICA: When he resurfaces, tell Specter Pearson wants to see him.
[Jessica leaves the office]
DONNA: I used mousse in high school. It was the '90s.
RACHEL: Was it?
DONNA: While leaving the office I heard that.
CUT TO: SIDWELL INVESTMENT GROUP
[Mike walks towards his office]
AMY: Did you bring me lunch?
MIKA: Chen Dynasty.
AMY: How many egg rolls are in here?
MIKE: Two.
AMY: You closed Gillis.
MIKE: No, I killed Gillis.
AMY: Well, I hope you told them no mushrooms in the lo mein.
MIKE: You never told me that.
AMY: I didn't think I had to.
MIKE: Aren't you supposed to be the one taking care of me?
AMY: Ugh, how am I supposed to do that when there are mushrooms in my lo mein?
MIKE: Why do I keep you around again?
AMY: Deal memo on Friedman Technologies, engagement letter signed by Stillman, and, oh, two front-row tickets to Daft Punk for you and Rachel tonight.
MIKE: But why do I keep you around?
AMY: Mike, Sidwell's in there waiting for you. Be careful, okay? He's not in a good mood.
MIKE: It's okay. You know why? 'Cause I killed it with Gillis. Hey, Amy.
AMY: Yeah?
MIKE: Eat the mushrooms. They're good for you.
AMY: Screw you.
[Mike enters his office where Jonathan Sidwell is waiting]
MIKE: Morning.
SIDWELL: Where have you been?
MIKE: Oh, you know, just getting Walter Gillis to sell us all of his distribution centers.
[Mike hands Sidwell the Gillis contract]
SIDWELL: Oh.
[Sidwell throws the contract in the trashcan]
MIKE: What the hell are you doing?
SIDWELL: What's it look like I'm doing? I'm sending a message. We're not a convent. We're in business to make money.
MIKE: And this deal does that.
SIDWELL: You did this deal to retain those people's jobs.
MIKE: And to make us 30%.
SIDWELL: We're a hedge fund. If we don't make 50%, we might as well buy time-shares and hope for the best.
MIKE: That's bullshit. This deal is solid.
SIDWELL: No, what's bullshit is you've been here for three months. All you've done is hit singles, and I need a goddamn home run.
MIKE: Jonathan, listen.
SIDWELL: I don't want to hear it. I want you to get your head out of your ass. Stop trying to save people's jobs, and start making us some real money. Or go back to being a lawyer.
Opening Theme
CUT TO: PEARSON SPECTER
[Harvey enters Jessica's office]
HARVEY: I heard you wanted to see me.
JESSICA: That was three hours ago.
HARVEY: If you knew what I was doing three hours ago, I don't think you would've wanted to see me.
JESSICA: I know what you were doing three hours ago.
HARVEY: Well, then, you should have come on over. Maybe you should try having some morning meetings yourself.
JESSICA: Clicks tongue Don't you worry about my mornings. What you need to worry about is Logan Sanders.
HARVEY: What? He drive one of his father's subsidiaries into bankruptcy?
JESSICA: The opposite. Boy got his shit together. Max is retiring, and Logan's taking over.
HARVEY: Let me guess. He wants a meeting.
JESSICA: He's got one. With you, tomorrow morning 10AM
HARVEY: Great. Push it a week.
JESSICA: Harvey, this kid considers himself a young lion. He's gonna want to make his mark, and the easiest way for him to do that is to change lawyers.
HARVEY: Maybe, but the last thing a lion wants is to have his dinner handed to him on a silver platter.
JESSICA: You're gonna give him a hunt. Did you think of that all on your own?
HARVEY: I'm extra sharp. I haven't worked a minute all morning. See, that's funny, 'cause I was late from all the sex.
JESSICA: Get the hell out of my office.
HARVEY: Bow chicka bow bow
CUT TO: HARVEY'S OFFICE
[Harvey enters his office where Mike is waiting]
HARVEY: Look what the cat dragged in. And you're wearing a vest.
MIKE: Here it comes.
HARVEY: Here what comes? Mazel tov. Congratulations on your special day.
MIKE: That's a good one.
[Donna enters the office]
DONNA: Harvey, leave him alone. He looks better than you do.
MIKE: Thank you, Donna.
DONNA: You're welcome. Oh, and Mr. Peanut called, and he said he'd be happy to lend you his top hat.
MIKE: Are you two finished?
DONNA: I could go all day.
HARVEY: I think the vest has had enough.
DONNA: Yeah.
HARVEY: So you come all the way down here just to let me know that you were right about Walter Gillis?
MIKE: I came all the way over here to tell you I am done playing in the kiddie pool.
HARVEY: I'm listening.
MIKE: I'm going after a whale.
HARVEY: I think I'm in love. Let's go to war.
MIKE: That's the thing. We're not going to war.
HARVEY: Mike, the second whoever it is finds out that you've got 5% of their company, we're going to war whether you like it or not.
MIKE: They're not gonna find that out because I don't own 5%.
HARVEY: Do I need to give you a tutorial on the procedure? You start by buying shares.
MIKE: I know what the procedure is, Harvey.
HARVEY: Well, how many shares have you bought?
MIKE: None.
HARVEY: This phrase, "I know what the procedure is," I don't think it means what you think it means.
MIKE: Well, as inconceivable as it might be to you, Harvey, I'm actually not going in hostile.
HARVEY: What are you talking about?
MIKE: I'm talking about approaching someone to buy their company in order to keep it alive, instead of selling it for parts.
HARVEY: You're offering someone hugs and rainbows.
MIKE: I'm offering someone the chance to survive and banking that they'll take that chance rather than give up.
HARVEY: You don't have the money, do you?
MIKE: No, I don't. But even if I did, I wouldn't use it.
HARVEY: Well, welcome to what every person who doesn't have money has ever said.
MIKE: Oh, I get it. You think this is the meeting where you make fun of my idea. No, no, no, no, no, no. This is the meeting where you realize that my idea is happening whether you like it or not.
HARVEY: Where's the fun in that meeting?
MIKE: Oh, the fun? It's all right over here on this side of the table. Hey, I'll give you a chance to get acquainted with the new reality.
I'll be in my office. Get back to me by the end of the day.
[Mike leaves Harvey's office]
DONNA: Wow. Looks like our baby boy's all growns up.
MIKE: Hey, tell me, sweetheart, you guys validate parking?
DONNA: Oh, yeah, sure thing. Gives Mike the finger I've got it right here.
MIKE: And how many hours is that good for?
DONNA: What's it matter? We're just gonna charge it back to you anyway.
MIKE: You know my secretary is, like, so much younger and fitter and funnier than you?
DONNA: Start running
[Mike leaves]
DONNA: Did he say "fitter"?
CUT TO: KATRINA'S OFFICE
[Louis enters]
KATRINA: What did you find out?
LOUIS: Woodall's resurfacing.
KATRINA: Me too. When?
LOUIS: Next week.
KATRINA: Me too. Where?
LOUIS: S.E.C.
KATRINA: Me too. Title?
LOUIS: Supervisor.
KATRINA: Director.
LOUIS: Me too. I just threw that in to make sure you weren't yes-man-ing me. Talk to me.
KATRINA: I found out the name of the man Woodall's sending after us. Jeff Malone.
LOUIS: Jeff Malone is a beast.
KATRINA: Well, the only way to beat a beast is with a bigger beast.
LOUIS: I need to get in there before everyone else and let Harvey and Jessica know that I had the foresight to look for it, the cunning to find it, and the balls to stop it.
KATRINA: Then you take on Malone.
LOUIS: Next stop: Name partner.
KATRINA: Pearson Specter Litt.
LOUIS: Okay, you know what? Just let's not count our chickens before they hatch. But just for shits and giggles, say it one more time. Leave out Specter.
CUT TO: DONNA'S DESK
HARVEY: Donna, I got Paul Porter's annual restructuring proposal.
Can you file it under "I don't give a shit"?
DONNA: What about Mike? You want me to have Rachel prepare a dog and pony show for him?
HARVEY: That won't be necessary.
DONNA: Why not?
[Louis approaches Harvey]
LOUIS: Harvey, I need to talk to you right now about something very important.
[Harvey and Donna ignore Louis]
DONNA: Harvey, why won't it be necessary?
HARVEY: 'Cause you don't beg the girl to go out with you. You wait. She'll call.
DONNA: That's not even--
[Louis interrupts Donna]
Excuse me. Hold on a second. Um, what if they don't call?
HARVEY: They always call.
LOUIS: Well, what about people who aren't you?
HARVEY: You mean you?
LOUIS: Yeah, of course I do.
HARVEY: If they don't call, then they don't call. But once they smell your desperation, they won't respect you, and you'll never get what you want anyway. I'm sorry, did you want to talk to me about something?
LOUIS: It can wait.
[Louis leaves]
HARVEY: Come to think of it, tell Rachel when she's back from school she can have the rest of the day off.
[Donna follows Harvey as he enters his office]
DONNA: Harvey. You do that, you might as well send Mike a telegram that says, "I'm not putting any thought into your idea."
HARVEY: Yeah, might as well.
DONNA: Okay, are you sure that's how you want to play this?
HARVEY: Didn't I just answer that?
DONNA: You did, but this isn't about whether or not Mike calls back. This is about you not letting Mike call the shots.
HARVEY: I let him call the shots, all he's gonna do is shoot himself in the foot.
DONNA: Maybe. But if this was anybody other than Mike, you wouldn't be acting like this.
HARVEY: Bullshit. I don't let Tony Gianopolous push me around. You think I'm gonna let Mike Ross?
DONNA: No, of course you don't let Tony push you around, but I've never seen you mock one of his ideas.
HARVEY: Yeah, because his ideas aren't ridiculous.
DONNA: This is Mike's first big idea.
HARVEY: And I just told you, his first big idea sucks.
DONNA: And if you use Rachel to deliver that message, this is gonna end badly.
HARVEY: Okay, thanks, mom, but I think I'm gonna keep playing ball in the house.
DONNA: Okay, act like a child who doesn't want to be told what to do, but Mike's a client, and you need to start treating him like one.
HARVEY: Donna, the next time I need help figuring out how to treat a client, I'll let you know.
DONNA: Okay, great.
[Donna leaves the office]
CUT TO: PEARSON SPECTER HALLWAY
[Harvey approaches Jessica as she exits the elevator]
JESSICA: Harvey, what can I do for you?
HARVEY: There's a Jeff Malone waiting in the conference room wanting to see both of us. Any idea who he is?
JESSICA: I've run into him before. He's a hotshot at the S.E.C.
HARVEY: What do you think he wants?
JESSICA: Let's go find out.
[Jessica and Harvey enter the conference room]
JEFF: Ms. Pearson. You must be Harvey Specter. I'm Jeff Malone.
HARVEY: I know who you are. My question is, why are you here?
JEFF: You seem hostile.
HARVEY: You investigate publicly traded companies. We're not publicly traded.
JEFF: No, but your clients are.
JESSICA: Hence his question and our hostility.
JEFF: Our?
JESSICA: We tend to stick together when an uninvited guest interrupts our dinner.
JEFF: Well, I didn't bring any wine, but when I go, I hope you'll be happy that I dropped by.
HARVEY: Yeah, I doubt that.
JESSICA: So why don't you tell us which client you're here for and be on your way?
JEFF: All of them.
JESSICA: Since when does the S.E.C. go around intimidating law firms by going after their clients?
JEFF: They don't, but they will when Eric Woodall starts there next week.
HARVEY: He comes at our clients after what he did, this time, he won't get fired, he'll end up in jail.
JESSICA: Except it won't be Woodall who's coming. It'll be him.
JEFF: Exactly. Listen, I'm gonna be getting a vaguely worded assignment with a not-so-vague agenda of getting up your clients' asses with the full power of the S.E.C. And when they ask why - and they always ask why - I'm gonna be expected to tell them that it's because they're clients of your firm.
HARVEY: Why are you telling us this?
JESSICA: Because he doesn't want to work for Woodall. He wants to work here.
JEFF: I've always heard how good you were. It's nice to see it's true. Anyway, here's the thing. I'm really tired of being a public servant, and more importantly, I've always thought that Eric Woodall was a, um-- oh, shit, I'll just go ahead and say it. He's a dick.
HARVEY: Finally, something we can agree on.
JEFF: Seems to me the only thing left for us to agree on, Harvey, is my starting salary. Chuckles I'm just kidding. I'm sure all your new senior partners get paid the same.
JESSICA: Before you start picking out floor patterns for your new office, I'd like to discuss this with my partner first.
JEFF: I'd expect nothing less. Oh, uh, just one more thing. I haven't been formally given this assignment yet, so I have no conflict. But in one more week I will, which means this offer will be gone.
JESSICA: Is that a threat?
JEFF: I would never threaten someone that I want to be in business with, Jessica. It's just the truth.
[Jeff leaves the conference room]
HARVEY: I like him.
CUT TO: LOUIS' OFFICE
[Katrina enters the office]
KATRINA: How did it go with Harvey?
LOUIS: It didn't.
KATRINA: What do you mean "it didn't"? You're the only man here who can take on Jeff Malone. How could he not see that?
LOUIS: I didn't bring it up.
KATRINA: Louis, winter is coming.
LOUIS: I know, and I'm the Night's Watch. But right now we need to be patient.
KATRINA; Patience is not your strong suit.
LOUIS: Well, today it is. Because if there's one thing that I've always known, it's that you do not call the pretty girl. You wait for her to call you.
KATRINA: Louis, I'm seeing someone.
LOUIS: I'm happy for you, though I have no idea why you're saying that right now. Katrina, trust me. They're gonna find out about Jeff Malone soon enough 'cause he's gonna come calling. And when he does, they're gonna come right over to me.
CUT TO: PEARSON SPECTER HALLWAY
[Jessica and Harvey walk towards Jessica's office]
JESSICA: Like him all you want. I'm not hiring him.
HARVEY: Why not?
JESSICA: Why do you think?
HARVEY: Because you don't like making decisions staring down the barrel of a shotgun.
JESSICA: Jessica Pearson. Nice to meet you.
[Jessica and Harvey enter her office]
HARVEY: Jessica, the man walked in here and offered to fight for us.
If it's not him, who's it gonna be?
JESSICA: The guy in the office next door.
HARVEY: Louis?
JESSICA: Harvey, Louis knows everything there is to know about the S.E.C. He's damn good, and you know it.
HARVEY: This guy isn't damn good. He's a killer.
JESSICA: And he's a prosecutor. We need a defender.
HARVEY: If I'm in a dark alley, I'd take the killer over the defender seven days a week. And Eric Woodall's gonna put us in a dark alley.
JESSICA: Louis is a known quantity. And right now Jeff Malone's biggest selling point is telling us that Woodall is coming.
HARVEY: Louis sure as hell didn't, which means he either didn't know or he wasn't man enough to come in here and take the job for himself.
JESSICA: Harvey, do you know why I don't like being strong-armed into decisions? Because I'll never be able to trust the person who did it.
HARVEY: Then figure out a way to get someone as good or hire this guy and come to terms with it. Because if it's Louis against Malone in a street fight, I'm picking that dude.
[Harvey leaves the office]
CUT TO: SIDWELL INVESTMENT GROUP
[Mike walks towards his office and is handed a file from a female coworker]
MIKE: Oh, thank you.
AMY: Hey, how'd your meeting go with the mysterious Harvey Specter?
MIKE: Being a dick doesn't make him mysterious.
AMY: Well, then I guess you're an open book.
[Amy follows Mike into his office]
MIKE: You know, I was gonna give you those Daft Punk tickets, but now after that, I think I'll give them to Edna.
AMY: Okay, first of all, Edna was 63 when Daft Punk was born.
MIKE: Really? With that skin?
AMY: You know what, I worked hard to get you those things. Why aren't you going?
MIKE: I dropped the hammer on Harvey, which means Rachel's gonna be working all night.
[Rachel enters the office, and Amy leaves]
MIKE: Hey, what are you doing here?
RACHEL: Donna texted me when I was at Columbia and told me that Harvey gave me the rest of the day off because I'm kicking ass.
MIKE: He's giving you the rest of the day off?
RACHEL: Mmhmm, so I figured we could celebrate over dinner before the concert.
[Mike looks puzzled]
RACHEL: What, are you jealous 'cause he never did that for you?
MIKE: Laughs Um, no. That's great. You pick a place. I'll meet you there. I got to set up some meetings for tomorrow first.
RACHEL: What about The Little Owl?
MIKE: Yeah.
RACHEL: Okay.
CUT TO: HARVEY'S APARTMENT
[Harvey opens the door, and Mike enters]
HARVEY: Mike, what are you doing here?
MIKE: You delivered a message, so now I'm delivering one. Pearson Specter is formally in review.
HARVEY: What did you just say to me?
MIKE: You want my business, you're gonna have to earn it.
HARVEY: I have earned it.
MIKE: By shiting on my plan?
HARVEY: You don't have a plan. You're running into a wall. It's not my job to crash into it with you.
MIKE: Crash into it? You didn't even ask me who I'm going after.
HARVEY: I didn't have to because it doesn't matter. But go ahead. Who is it?
MIKE: Gillis industries.
HARVEY: That's not a whale, that's a monster. A man like Walter Gillis isn't gonna listen to a guy like you offering to save him with sunshine and rainbows.
MIKE: That's exactly what you said to me before I got him to sell me his distribution centers.
HARVEY: Congratulations. You got to walk his dog. That doesn't mean he's gonna let you marry his daughter.
MIKE: Listen to me. You want to be my guy? You stop telling me why I can't do this, and you start figuring out how I can.
HARVEY: I already told you how you can. You get some money, start buying some shares, and you walk in there with a club and the balls to use it if you have to.
MIKE: Harvey, when I told you my plan's happening whether you like it or not, I meant it. I'm interviewing law firms tomorrow. You show up with a better attitude and another move, or you just lost a client.
[Mike leaves]
CUT TO: MIKE AND RACHEL'S APARTMENT
[Mike and Rachel are getting ready for their night out]
RACHEL: You want talk about it?
HARVEY: Talk about what?
RACHEL: About whatever's going on with you and Harvey.
[Mike doesn't respond]
RACHEL: Sighs Why does everybody think that I was born yesterday? I tell you that he gives me the rest of the day off work, you vanish until dinner, and then you're pissed off for the rest of the night, so it doesn't take a rocket scientist.
MIKE: Clearly. I meant "I love you."
RACHEL: Mmhmm, nice recovery. Doesn't get you out of answering my question.
MIKE: You really want to know? I'll tell you. Harvey was Michael Jordan. Now it's Lebron's time, and he can't take it.
RACHEL: That's a pretty big accusation to make.
MIKE: Well, there's more to the story than you know.
RACHEL: What?
MIKE: Right, so come on. I said I didn't want to get between you two.
RACHEL: What?
MIKE: Sighs Let's just say that you kicking ass for him isn't the reason you got the day off.
CUT TO: PEARSON SPECTER HALLWAY
Harvey and Rachel are walking towards Harvey's office]
HARVEY: I thought you had law school today.
RACHEL: I do right after this.
HARVEY: He told you.
RACHEL: Did you think he wouldn't? Look, if you want to send a message to Mike, go right ahead. If you want me to send a message to Mike, tell me when and where, but Please don't ever use me like that again.
HARVEY: You're right.
RACHEL: I'm what now?
HARVEY: I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry.
RACHEL: Is it April fools' day?
HARVEY: No, but don't ever let it be said that I can't admit when I'm wrong.
RACHEL: Then I will stop saying that.
HARVEY: Didn't you say you have class today?
RACHEL: I'm on my way.
[Rachel leaves as they reach Donna's desk]
DONNA: What was that all about?
HARVEY: Just some administrative stuff.
DONNA: Administrative stuff. You and Rachel.
HARVEY: I don't want to talk about it.
RACHEL: You mean about how everything I said would happen happened, and now you realize I was right the whole time?
HARVEY: No one likes a gloater, Donna.
RACHEL: Well, then I guess the Harvey Specter University of gloating is gonna have to shut down.
HARVEY: I can still give lectures on the weekend.
[Rachel points to her ear]
HARVEY: You want to hear it? You were right.
[Donna sighs]
HARVEY: Call Ray. I'm gonna go let Mike know I'm his lawyer.
[As Harvey is about to leave, Logan Sanders shows up]
LOGAN: You're gonna push a meeting with me?
DONNA: Harvey, Logan Sanders is here to see you.
CUT TO: HARVEY'S OFFICE
HARVEY: First of all, I don't appreciate you stomping into my office with an attitude.
LOGAN: Yeah, well, I don't appreciate being put off, especially when I know that you never pushed a meeting with my father.
HARVEY: Your father never went to Jessica to set a meeting with me.
LOGAN: Then I assume that next time I call you directly, you'll pick up the phone.
HARVEY: Logan, let me give you the ABCs of me. I don't take meetings, I set them. And my respect isn't demanded, it's earned.
LOGAN: That's only two things. What's "C"?
HARVEY: "C" is for people who show me they know "A" and "B."
LOGAN: Well, since we're quoting Jerry Maguire, all I want is for you to show me the money.
HARVEY: You just took step number one towards earning my respect. And I dig that about you.
LOGAN: Great. Would it be too much trouble for me to discuss my business now?
HARVEY: Well, I was gonna move on to Crimson Tide, but, yeah, go ahead. Knock yourself out.
LOGAN: You ever hear of a family called the Winwards?
HARVEY: No. Should I?
LOGAN: In 1950, they were worth the equivalent of a billion dollars. By 1988, one of them owned a couple of dry cleaners. And it didn't happen because they squandered it. It happened because they stayed a dinosaur.
HARVEY: You don't want to become a dinosaur.
LOGAN: No. Sighs I like to think of myself as a shark. Keep moving forward or die.
HARVEY: You're talking hostile takeover.
LOGAN: You think I'd be here if I wasn't?
HARVEY: You just took step number two towards earning my respect. What's the company?
LOGAN: Gillis Industries, and I already own 4.9%.
HARVEY: Logan, we have to end this conversation right now.
LOGAN: What are you talking about? I thought I just earned your respect.
HARVEY: You did, but we have a conflict.
LOGAN: What do you mean, you have a conflict?
HARVEY: I mean we have a conflict.
LOGAN: What are you gonna do about it?
HARVEY: I'm gonna go and resolve it.
LOGAN: Well, you better do it fast, because I am in on this. And that means you're either with me or against me. That includes all $1 billion of my business.
[Harvey leaves the office]
CUT TO: PEARSON SPECTER CAFETERIA
[Katrina approaches Louis]
LOUIS: Hey. Prunie?
KATRINA: What is that?
LOUIS: It's a prune smoothie. I invented it myself.
KATRINA: Rain check. Louis, guess who stopped by yesterday for an impromptu meeting with Jessica and Harvey.
LOUIS: Please tell me it was Dick Cheney.
KATRINA: Why would you want it to be Dick Cheney?
LOUIS: Why wouldn't I want it to be Iron Dick? Holy shit, I think I know who you were talking about.
KATRINA: I think you do too.
LOUIS: Is it a certain S.E.C. beast whose name happens to rhyme with schmeff schmalone?
KATRINA: Schmess it is, and schmess it does.
LOUIS: Well, schmuck me.
[Harvey approcahes]
HARVEY: Louis, we have a problem.
LOUIS: What's the problem? Looks at Katrina and chuckles As if I didn't know.
HARVEY: I just got out of a meeting with Logan Sanders.
LOUIS: Logan Sanders? This isn't about...
HARVEY: About what?
LOUIS: Then-never mind. What's the problem?
HARVEY: He wants to go after the same company that Mike pitched me first.
LOUIS: So what's the problem? Mike brought it to you first. You're obligated to stick with him.
HARVEY: The problem is Mike formally put us in review.
LOUIS: Holy shit. That's why you're coming to me. You're gonna lose Mike, and you want to know if there's any way around it?
HARVEY: Is there?
LOUIS: No. Harvey, I'm sorry, but you're gonna have to drop Mike.
CUT TO: LOUIS' OFFICE
KATRINA: What happened with Harvey?
LOUIS: Nothing. He had an emergency with Mike.
KATRINA: Fine, but don't you think now is the time to act for yourself?
LOUIS: No, we have a good plan, and we're sticking to it. They're stewing on Malone, and the more they stew--
KATRINA: The more leverage we have.
KATRINA AND LOUIS: Name partner.
LOUIS: And as I've said, all we need to do is be patient.
KATRINA: Well, patience may be one of your virtues, but it is not one of mine.
[KATRINA hands Louis a Pearson Specter Litt business card saying "Louis Litt, Senior Partner"]
KATRINA: I didn't want to jinx it.
LOUIS: You didn't. Katrina, this is one of the sweetest things anyone's ever done for me.
KATRINA: I want to make sure you don't waste your opportunity to get this.
LOUIS: I promise I won't.
[Louis looks at the business card and shutter]
CUT TO: JEFF MALONE'S OFFICE
[Jessica enters]
JEFF: What are you doing here? We shouldn't be seen together.
JESSICA: You had no problem walking into my place of business. Why should I have a problem walking into yours?
JEFF: Because unless you're here to tell me that I have the job, then you're putting my position here in jeopardy.
JESSICA: How do you think I felt when I found the man that I'm sleeping with standing in my conference room?
JEFF: Jessica, will you please lower your voice?
JESSICA: Not only that, but you stood there with a shit-eating grin on your face and tried to strong-arm me into giving you a job.
JEFF: Are you as turned on as I am right now? Laughs
JESSICA: You're not funny. Why didn't you come to me first with this?
JEFF: Because if I had come to you with this first, you would have thought I was trading on our relationship.
JESSICA: Aren't you?
JEFF: No. And if we weren't together, I would have gone to both of you, all right? So I went to both of you. Now it may not have been perfect, but There was no perfect way of doing it, unless I hadn't done it.
JESSICA: Now that sounds pretty perfect to me.
JEFF: What are you so afraid of?
JESSICA: Do I have to draw you a picture? I'm not the one that made up the saying "you don't shit where you eat."
JEFF: Am I the shit or the food in this little painting of yours? Because if we're just a fling, then what difference does it make whether I work with you or not?
JESSICA: I didn't say we're just a fling.
JEFF: Then if there really is a chance for us, then why not go for both?
JESSICA: Because I've seen what happens when things go south between partners, and I'm not willing to put my business in jeopardy.
JEFF: Your business?
JESSICA: Yes, my business. The one that I have fought tooth and nail to keep together, the same business that you strolled into with a shotgun and said, "marry me, or I'll start shooting."
JEFF: Jess, if you want me to apologize for the way that I asked, then I will. But I don't ask for things that I don't want. And what I want is to work at Pearson Specter and to keep seeing you.
JESSICA: Those two things are not both gonna happen.
[Jessica walks towards the door]
JEFF: Then I guess you have to decide what's more important to you, what we have or what you have.
CUT TO: MIKE'S INTERVIEW ROOM
[Amy enters the room with Harvey following]
AMY: Hey, Mike. There's another prospect here to see you, but he's late, and his tie's too fat. Should I let him in?
HARVEY: You tell her to say all that garbage?
AMY: He didn't need to, Johnny fat tie.
MIKE: Yeah, I guess I have time for one more meeting.
HARVEY: Mike, I need to talk to you--
MIKE: Although, I'm sorry, sir. You've missed the pastries. I can call you some up--
HARVEY: Listen to me. I came down here because I wanted to tell you if you want to run through this wall, I'm ready to run through it with you.
MIKE: Good.
HARVEY: But I can't.
MIKE: What?
HARVEY: What I can do is tell you I'm ready to run through another one.
MIKE: What the hell are you talking about?
HARVEY: We have a conflict.
MIKE: Bullshit. Who is it?
HARVEY: It's not bullshit.
MIKE: Then who is it?
HARVEY: You know I can't tell you that.
MIKE: No, what I know is that it's very convenient that you suddenly have a conflict the day after you tell me that my idea isn't good enough.
HARVEY: I don't find it convenient at all, but you put us in review, and now I have to go with the other client.
MIKE: I put you in review because you refused to get on board.
HARVEY: And I just told you, I want to run through another wall with you, and we still can if you drop this.
MIKE: And why should I be the one to drop it?
HARVEY: Because they're not going to, and I have to stick with them. And I'm telling you, you're gonna lose.
MIKE: What, because you're on the other side?
HARVEY: Because their plan is better.
MIKE: Says the professional bullshit-er who has a brand-new vested interest in me bowing out.
HARVEY: I'm gonna let that go. But if you don't let this go, I can't represent you on anything until it's over.
MIKE: Then I guess we're done here.
[Harvey leaves]
CUT TO: HARVEY'S APARTMENT
[Harvey enters the apartment and finds Jessica in his kitchen cooking]
HARVEY: You cook?
JESSICA: You come home to this in your kitchen, and that's what you're going to ask me?
HARVEY: Well, I was gonna ask you how the hell you got into my apartment, but I knew you weren't gonna tell me.
JESSICA: Do you remember when you told me I should think about taking some morning meetings?
HARVEY: I can't say that it's never crossed my mind, but you really think it's a good idea--
JESSICA: Jeff Malone.
HARVEY: Well, he's not my type. You gotta be kidding me. Why didn't you tell me yesterday?
JESSICA: Because I wasn't gonna hire him yesterday, so it was none of your business. But today I might, so now it is.
HARVEY: And you want to know how I feel about it.
JESSICA: You're my partner.
HARVEY: Well, I already told you how I feel about hiring him. This doesn't change that.
JESSICA: Good to know.
HARVEY: Seems like something else is on your mind.
JESSICA: He doesn't just want to work together. He wants us to keep seeing each other.
HARVEY: And you don't want to risk the one to have the other.
JESSICA: No. I don't.
HARVEY: I've been there.
JESSICA: I know.
HARVEY: Then you need to figure out which is more important.
JESSICA: I guess I do.
HARVEY: So you two have, um..
JESSICA: Yes.
HARVEY: So he's seen you naked?
JESSICA: That's usually how these things work.
[Harvey looks into the air and smiles a little]
JESSICA: Are you picturing me naked right now?
HARVEY: Maybe. Yes.
JESSICA: Go wash your hands. And don't spend too much time in that bathroom.
CUT TO: JONATHAN SIDWELL'S OFFICE
SIDWELL: Let me get this straight. You come to me with a killer idea, and all of a sudden you don't want to do it anymore 'cause you lost your BFF?
MIKE: I don't want to do it because it's not a killer idea anymore.
SIDWELL: Why the hell not?
MIKE: Because Harvey has a conflict, which means somebody already has a dog in the fight.
SIDWELL: Who gives a shit?
MIKE: I do. 'Cause whoever it is is already buying shares.
SIDWELL: You didn't come in here to give up. You came in here to get my money.
MIKE: You're damn right I did.
SIDWELL: I give you my money, now I have downside.
MIKE: Jonathan, look. You said you wanted a home run. You gotta pull out your checkbook, 'cause I can't compete without it.
SIDWELL: You could yesterday.
MIKE: Now it's today.
SIDWELL: And you're still going in there another banker in a suit, hoping he'll trust you based on nothing.
MIKE: I've got more than nothing.
SIDWELL: What the hell are you talking about?
MIKE: Trust me. I did my homework.
SIDWELL: Batter up.
CUT TO: WALTER GILLIS' HOME
[Gillis opens the door]
GILLIS: What are you doing here?
MIKE: I said I'd tell you what we were gonna do with your centers five seconds after we closed.
GILLIS: When did we close?
MIKE: About three seconds ago.
[Mike hands Gillis a file]
GILLIS: I guess we better hurry.
[Mike enters Gillis' house]
GILLIS: All right, what's going to happen to my employees?
MIKE: We're going to sell your distribution centers to a pharmaceutical company as distribution centers. They use your workers. They hit the ground running. Win-win.
GILLIS: You're a man of your word. But that's not why you're here.
MIKE: No, it isn't.
GILLIS: I'm not interested in selling my business.
MIKE: I know that, because I know why you've thrown your whole life into this company and why you chose the movie business in the first place.
GILLIS: What's your point?
MIKE: Phillip. Your son. You loved watching movies together. That's why you started this company and why you won't let go of what it's become for any amount of money.
GILLIS: How do you know that?
MIKE: I told you. I do my homework. You lost him, and you needed an outlet, and that's what this company is to you now - your family.
GILLIS: I told you, I'm not selling.
MIKE: And I told you, they're coming after you whether you like it or not. And the difference between me and them is they want to tear your company apart, and I want to keep it together.
GILLIS: You don't have the resources to do that.
MIKE: Yes. I do.
[Mike puts a document in front of Gillis]
MIKE: As of an hour ago, I started investing. So by this time next week, I will own 4.9%. I didn't have to tell you that.
GILLIS: And that's supposed to make me trust you?
MIKE: I lost both of my parents when I was 11 years old, so I know a little something about needing family. Walter I can't guarantee you we'll win, but I can guarantee you that I will never sell you out.
GILLIS: All right, I'm in.
CUT TO: RACHEL'S OFFICE
[Rachel enters her office and finds Harvey waiting behind her desk]
RACHEL: Impersonates Harvey Listen, Zane, I want that goddamn filing on my desk nine seconds ago, or you can forget you ever worked here. Now excuse me. I've got to go be a dick to someone.
HARVEY: Sit down.
RACHEL: Sighs Is this about you and Mike?
HARVEY: Listen to me. This is gonna be a street fight, and there's only gonna be one man standing when it's over. So I'm only gonna ask you this once.
RACHEL: You don't need to. I don't want out. I want in. And when I said, "you want me to send a message to Mike?" I meant it.
HARVEY: I was just gonna ask if you were comfortable getting me coffee in the mornings.
RACHEL: I'm serious. I didn't back down from a fight with my dad, and I'm not going to back down from one with Mike.
HARVEY: Good. Now, I actually am gonna get coffee.
[Harvey gets up to leave]
RACHEL: Great. One sugar, a splash of cream, and don't skimp on the hazelnut.
[Harvey stops and looks at her unimpressed]
RACHEL: Too soon.
HARVEY: Instead of failing to be charming, why don't you do something useful and get moving on drawing up a tender offer for Logan Sanders?
RACHEL: Logan? No, you mean Max Sanders.
HARVEY: I keep forgetting that you're in law school half the time. Max is retired. It's Logan's show now.
[Harvey leaves]
[Rachel sighs]
CUT TO: HARVEY'S OFFICE
[Harvey enters his office and finds Logan Sanders waiting for him]
LOGAN: You wanted to see me?
HARVEY: We need to move up our timeline.
LOGAN: Well, I'm buying shares as fast as I can.
HARVEY: I'm talking about a tender offer.
LOGAN: The plan is shock and awe. If we rush a tender offer, we won't have enough leverage to force people to vote with us.
HARVEY: It's fine to have shock and awe when you're the only one in the game, but Walter Gillis knows we're coming, and he got himself an ally.
LOGAN: How do you know that?
HARVEY: Because I do.
LOGAN: Your conflict, who is it?
HARVEY: I can't talk about it.
LOGAN: Well, when the hell can you?
HARVEY: In another hour.
[Logan sighs and leaves]
[Donna walks up to Harvey as he is leaving his office]
HARVEY: You have it for me?
DONNA: Harvey, you know you can still get out of this if you want to. Mike's not gonna sign that thing if you tell him not to.
HARVEY: It's too late for that.
DONNA: Whispering Oh, my God.
[Harvey leaves, and Donna turns around to find Louis waiting at her desk]
LOUIS: Hey, just the woman I wanted to see. Donna, would you happen to have the measurements to Hardman's old office?
DONNA: Louis, get out of my way.
LOUIS: Whoa. What's going on, Donna?
DONNA: What's going on? That bullshit Harvey told you about waiting for the girl to call, it's bullshit. He waited, and now it's too late.
[Louis leaves]
CUT TO: KATRINA'S OFFICE]
[Louis enters]
LOUIS: Change of plans. Cancel anything you have. We're staying here all night.
KATRINA: What for?
LOUIS: The S.E.C.'s coming, Jessica's hiring one person to fight 'em, and first thing tomorrow, we need to convince her that person's me.
CUT TO: JEFF MALONE'S APARTMENT
[Jeff opens the door]
JEFF: Hey. I see you have the movies.
JESSICA: Mmhmm.
JEFF: I guess that means you've decided which relationship you want us to have.
JESSICA: I have. But it's not what you might think.
[Jessica enters the apartment]
JESSICA: If you still want the job, it starts tomorrow.
JEFF: I do.
JESSICA: Then tonight is our last night.
JEFF: We'll see if you still think that in four hours.
JESSICA: Oh, you want to go three times?
JEFF: Oh, I was including one of the movies.
JESSICA: No.
JEFF: No.
[They start kissing and walk towards the bedroom]
CUT TO: MIKE'S OFFICE
[Harvey enters]
HARVEY: Finally got yourself an office.
MIKE: Maybe you forgot, but I had an office before. I just gave it back.
HARVEY: I remember, as a show of loyalty.
MIKE: Yeah, well, that was then. This is now. What you got there, Harvey?
HARVEY: You think you could meet with Walter Gillis and I wouldn't find out?
MIKE: No, I knew you'd find out. I just didn't care.
[Harvey pulls out a file]
HARVEY: Then maybe you won't mind signing this.
MIKE: Laughs Let me guess. You want me to waive the conflict that you still have after hearing my plan first.
HARVEY: I sure didn't come here to see your shity office.
MIKE: Laughs Aren't you supposed to be nice to the person you need something from?
HARVE: They're still coming whether you sign it or not.
MIKE: If I don't sign it, they won't be coming with you.
HARVEY: True. Of course, if you don't sign it, it may cause some people to say you're afraid of me. And by "some people," I mean me.
MIKE: Of course, if I sign it just because you said that, then it might cause some people to say you baited me. But I knew you were coming the second I went to see Walter Gillis, so I went ahead and signed one for you.
[Mike gets up and hands Harvey a file]
HARVEY: I guess it's on.
MIKE: I guess it is. You think we need to lay out some ground rules?
HARVEY: Rules? In a knife fight?
MIKE: Chuckles I guess somebody ought to yell, "one, two, three, go."
HARVEY: One, two, three, go.
[Harvey leaves]
MIKE: You know, usually when someone gets a new office, you're supposed to bring them something, right?
[Harvey smiles as he's leaving]
MIKE: Like an orchid or something? No? Nothing?
CUT TO: MIKE AND RACHEL'S APARTMENT
[Mike enters]
RACHEL: You signed the waiver, didn't you?
MIKE: You know I did. Not gonna back down from Harvey.
RACHEL: Mm. And I suppose you got Gillis on board with your plan?
MIKE: I wouldn't have needed to sign the waiver if I didn't.
[Rachel looks away]
MIKE: Hey. Hey, it's gonna be okay. This thing between me and Harvey, it doesn't have to affect us. We won't let it.
RACHEL: I didn't know that Logan Sanders took over his father's company until today.
MIKE: What does that have to do with anything?
RACHEL: He's Harvey's client.
MIKE: Yeah, so?
RACHEL: Do you remember when I told you that I That I once had an affair with a married man? It was him.
RACHEL: I have a list here of the signing bonuses of the top three associates who have come into this firm. An advance plus my salary will cover my tuition.
JESSICA: Those numbers don't add up.
RACHEL: Summer associates work as lawyers, and I can do the same.
JONATHAN SIDWELL: It's an offer letter. We're investment bankers. Our job blows yours out of the water.
DONNA: Harvey, Stephanie Liston just called me. She said they just brought Mike in for questioning.
ERIC WOODALL: You're a dirty lawyer, and now you're on my radar.
MIKE: I'm tired of putting the people I care about in jeopardy. I called Jonathan Sidwell this afternoon. I took the job.
HARVEY: Mike Ross never went to law school. I knew it, and I hired him anyway.
SCOTTY: Whispering I still can't stay, Harvey.
HARVEY: I'm sorry.
MIKE: Give me permission to go.
Opening Montage
[Rachel gets out of the shower as Mike is still lying in bed]
MIKE: Going to work or school?
RACHEL: Both.
MIKE: Think you have time for some of this?
RACHEL: Laughs Maybe if you will loan me your limo.
MIKE: Hmm. I'm sure we can work something out.
RACHEL: Mm-hmm.
CUT TO: JEFF MALONE'S APARTMENT
[Before she leaves, Jessica places a note saying "Thursday 9PM, Casablanca and Apocalypse Now" on Jeff's pillow]
CUT TO: HARVEY'S APARTMENT
HARVEY: Thought you were getting dressed.
WOMAN: I did get dressed.
HARVEY: And then you got undressed.
WOMAN: I got a little hot.
HARVEY: Yes. You did.
[The woman removes her bra]
HARVEY: Come to think of it, it is getting a little warm in here.
End of Opening Montage
[Mike enters the conference room where WALTER Gillis is waiting]
MIKE: Mr. Gillis. Mike Ross. Nice to meet you.
WALTER GILLIS: You should know I'm only doing this as a courtesy to Jonathan Sidwell. But I'll tell you right now, the answer is no.
MIKE: Good.
WALTER GILLIS: Why good?
MIKE: Because a yes is always so much better when it starts as a no.
WALTER GILLIS: You're a confident young man, but I know what my distribution centers are worth.
MIKE: You know what they're worth to you. This is what they're worth to me.
WALTER GILLIS: This is bigger than I expected.
MIKE: I've heard that before.
WALTER GILLIS: Okay, fun time's over. I'm not interested in selling to someone who I don't know where they're coming from.
MIKE: Let me tell you where I'm coming from. I do my homework. These centers are a beacon to every predator out there that you haven't laid the groundwork to get out of the DVD business.
WALTER GILLIS: Sounds to me like where you're coming from is trying to scare me.
MIKE: No, no, I'm not trying to scare you. I'm trying to help you. They're circling, and you know it. You don't do this, you might as well send out an invitation asking for a hostile takeover.
WALTER GILLIS: This number can't be real.
MIKE: It is.
WALTER GILLIS: Then what the hell are you gonna do with my distribution centers?
MIKE: I'll be happy to tell you that five seconds after I buy them. Walter, I know you want your people to be okay, and I give you my word they will be. But these centers have become a headache, and you need cash for when those predators come knocking.
WALTER GILLIS: Let them knock. I'm not answering the door.
MIKE: No, you're not hearing me. If you don't raise enough money, they're coming in whether you answer that door or not. The offer's good for another hour.
[Mike leaves the conference room]
CUT TO: HARVEY'S OFFICE
JESSICA: You are not my hair-gelled partner in crime.
RACHEL: I haven't used hair gel since ninth grade. I was trying to avoid the frizzy look.
JESSICA: Where is he?
RACHEL: Donna said that he had a morning meeting outside of the office.
JESSICA: And where is Donna?
[Donna enters the office]
DONNA: Right here. I prefer to appear at the exact moment I'm needed.
JESSICA: I wish I could say the same for Harvey.
DONNA: Oh, well, Harvey has a very--
JESSICA: Interrupts Donna Save it. She may have been born yesterday, but I know that morning meeting doesn't mean "morning meeting."
RACHEL: Everyone knows that. It's just not my place to say it.
DONNA: Not mine either. He did it yesterday too.
JESSICA: When he resurfaces, tell Specter Pearson wants to see him.
[Jessica leaves the office]
DONNA: I used mousse in high school. It was the '90s.
RACHEL: Was it?
DONNA: While leaving the office I heard that.
CUT TO: SIDWELL INVESTMENT GROUP
[Mike walks towards his office]
AMY: Did you bring me lunch?
MIKA: Chen Dynasty.
AMY: How many egg rolls are in here?
MIKE: Two.
AMY: You closed Gillis.
MIKE: No, I killed Gillis.
AMY: Well, I hope you told them no mushrooms in the lo mein.
MIKE: You never told me that.
AMY: I didn't think I had to.
MIKE: Aren't you supposed to be the one taking care of me?
AMY: Ugh, how am I supposed to do that when there are mushrooms in my lo mein?
MIKE: Why do I keep you around again?
AMY: Deal memo on Friedman Technologies, engagement letter signed by Stillman, and, oh, two front-row tickets to Daft Punk for you and Rachel tonight.
MIKE: But why do I keep you around?
AMY: Mike, Sidwell's in there waiting for you. Be careful, okay? He's not in a good mood.
MIKE: It's okay. You know why? 'Cause I killed it with Gillis. Hey, Amy.
AMY: Yeah?
MIKE: Eat the mushrooms. They're good for you.
AMY: Screw you.
[Mike enters his office where Jonathan Sidwell is waiting]
MIKE: Morning.
SIDWELL: Where have you been?
MIKE: Oh, you know, just getting Walter Gillis to sell us all of his distribution centers.
[Mike hands Sidwell the Gillis contract]
SIDWELL: Oh.
[Sidwell throws the contract in the trashcan]
MIKE: What the hell are you doing?
SIDWELL: What's it look like I'm doing? I'm sending a message. We're not a convent. We're in business to make money.
MIKE: And this deal does that.
SIDWELL: You did this deal to retain those people's jobs.
MIKE: And to make us 30%.
SIDWELL: We're a hedge fund. If we don't make 50%, we might as well buy time-shares and hope for the best.
MIKE: That's bullshit. This deal is solid.
SIDWELL: No, what's bullshit is you've been here for three months. All you've done is hit singles, and I need a goddamn home run.
MIKE: Jonathan, listen.
SIDWELL: I don't want to hear it. I want you to get your head out of your ass. Stop trying to save people's jobs, and start making us some real money. Or go back to being a lawyer.
Opening Theme
CUT TO: PEARSON SPECTER
[Harvey enters Jessica's office]
HARVEY: I heard you wanted to see me.
JESSICA: That was three hours ago.
HARVEY: If you knew what I was doing three hours ago, I don't think you would've wanted to see me.
JESSICA: I know what you were doing three hours ago.
HARVEY: Well, then, you should have come on over. Maybe you should try having some morning meetings yourself.
JESSICA: Clicks tongue Don't you worry about my mornings. What you need to worry about is Logan Sanders.
HARVEY: What? He drive one of his father's subsidiaries into bankruptcy?
JESSICA: The opposite. Boy got his shit together. Max is retiring, and Logan's taking over.
HARVEY: Let me guess. He wants a meeting.
JESSICA: He's got one. With you, tomorrow morning 10AM
HARVEY: Great. Push it a week.
JESSICA: Harvey, this kid considers himself a young lion. He's gonna want to make his mark, and the easiest way for him to do that is to change lawyers.
HARVEY: Maybe, but the last thing a lion wants is to have his dinner handed to him on a silver platter.
JESSICA: You're gonna give him a hunt. Did you think of that all on your own?
HARVEY: I'm extra sharp. I haven't worked a minute all morning. See, that's funny, 'cause I was late from all the sex.
JESSICA: Get the hell out of my office.
HARVEY: Bow chicka bow bow
CUT TO: HARVEY'S OFFICE
[Harvey enters his office where Mike is waiting]
HARVEY: Look what the cat dragged in. And you're wearing a vest.
MIKE: Here it comes.
HARVEY: Here what comes? Mazel tov. Congratulations on your special day.
MIKE: That's a good one.
[Donna enters the office]
DONNA: Harvey, leave him alone. He looks better than you do.
MIKE: Thank you, Donna.
DONNA: You're welcome. Oh, and Mr. Peanut called, and he said he'd be happy to lend you his top hat.
MIKE: Are you two finished?
DONNA: I could go all day.
HARVEY: I think the vest has had enough.
DONNA: Yeah.
HARVEY: So you come all the way down here just to let me know that you were right about Walter Gillis?
MIKE: I came all the way over here to tell you I am done playing in the kiddie pool.
HARVEY: I'm listening.
MIKE: I'm going after a whale.
HARVEY: I think I'm in love. Let's go to war.
MIKE: That's the thing. We're not going to war.
HARVEY: Mike, the second whoever it is finds out that you've got 5% of their company, we're going to war whether you like it or not.
MIKE: They're not gonna find that out because I don't own 5%.
HARVEY: Do I need to give you a tutorial on the procedure? You start by buying shares.
MIKE: I know what the procedure is, Harvey.
HARVEY: Well, how many shares have you bought?
MIKE: None.
HARVEY: This phrase, "I know what the procedure is," I don't think it means what you think it means.
MIKE: Well, as inconceivable as it might be to you, Harvey, I'm actually not going in hostile.
HARVEY: What are you talking about?
MIKE: I'm talking about approaching someone to buy their company in order to keep it alive, instead of selling it for parts.
HARVEY: You're offering someone hugs and rainbows.
MIKE: I'm offering someone the chance to survive and banking that they'll take that chance rather than give up.
HARVEY: You don't have the money, do you?
MIKE: No, I don't. But even if I did, I wouldn't use it.
HARVEY: Well, welcome to what every person who doesn't have money has ever said.
MIKE: Oh, I get it. You think this is the meeting where you make fun of my idea. No, no, no, no, no, no. This is the meeting where you realize that my idea is happening whether you like it or not.
HARVEY: Where's the fun in that meeting?
MIKE: Oh, the fun? It's all right over here on this side of the table. Hey, I'll give you a chance to get acquainted with the new reality.
I'll be in my office. Get back to me by the end of the day.
[Mike leaves Harvey's office]
DONNA: Wow. Looks like our baby boy's all growns up.
MIKE: Hey, tell me, sweetheart, you guys validate parking?
DONNA: Oh, yeah, sure thing. Gives Mike the finger I've got it right here.
MIKE: And how many hours is that good for?
DONNA: What's it matter? We're just gonna charge it back to you anyway.
MIKE: You know my secretary is, like, so much younger and fitter and funnier than you?
DONNA: Start running
[Mike leaves]
DONNA: Did he say "fitter"?
CUT TO: KATRINA'S OFFICE
[Louis enters]
KATRINA: What did you find out?
LOUIS: Woodall's resurfacing.
KATRINA: Me too. When?
LOUIS: Next week.
KATRINA: Me too. Where?
LOUIS: S.E.C.
KATRINA: Me too. Title?
LOUIS: Supervisor.
KATRINA: Director.
LOUIS: Me too. I just threw that in to make sure you weren't yes-man-ing me. Talk to me.
KATRINA: I found out the name of the man Woodall's sending after us. Jeff Malone.
LOUIS: Jeff Malone is a beast.
KATRINA: Well, the only way to beat a beast is with a bigger beast.
LOUIS: I need to get in there before everyone else and let Harvey and Jessica know that I had the foresight to look for it, the cunning to find it, and the balls to stop it.
KATRINA: Then you take on Malone.
LOUIS: Next stop: Name partner.
KATRINA: Pearson Specter Litt.
LOUIS: Okay, you know what? Just let's not count our chickens before they hatch. But just for shits and giggles, say it one more time. Leave out Specter.
CUT TO: DONNA'S DESK
HARVEY: Donna, I got Paul Porter's annual restructuring proposal.
Can you file it under "I don't give a shit"?
DONNA: What about Mike? You want me to have Rachel prepare a dog and pony show for him?
HARVEY: That won't be necessary.
DONNA: Why not?
[Louis approaches Harvey]
LOUIS: Harvey, I need to talk to you right now about something very important.
[Harvey and Donna ignore Louis]
DONNA: Harvey, why won't it be necessary?
HARVEY: 'Cause you don't beg the girl to go out with you. You wait. She'll call.
DONNA: That's not even--
[Louis interrupts Donna]
Excuse me. Hold on a second. Um, what if they don't call?
HARVEY: They always call.
LOUIS: Well, what about people who aren't you?
HARVEY: You mean you?
LOUIS: Yeah, of course I do.
HARVEY: If they don't call, then they don't call. But once they smell your desperation, they won't respect you, and you'll never get what you want anyway. I'm sorry, did you want to talk to me about something?
LOUIS: It can wait.
[Louis leaves]
HARVEY: Come to think of it, tell Rachel when she's back from school she can have the rest of the day off.
[Donna follows Harvey as he enters his office]
DONNA: Harvey. You do that, you might as well send Mike a telegram that says, "I'm not putting any thought into your idea."
HARVEY: Yeah, might as well.
DONNA: Okay, are you sure that's how you want to play this?
HARVEY: Didn't I just answer that?
DONNA: You did, but this isn't about whether or not Mike calls back. This is about you not letting Mike call the shots.
HARVEY: I let him call the shots, all he's gonna do is shoot himself in the foot.
DONNA: Maybe. But if this was anybody other than Mike, you wouldn't be acting like this.
HARVEY: Bullshit. I don't let Tony Gianopolous push me around. You think I'm gonna let Mike Ross?
DONNA: No, of course you don't let Tony push you around, but I've never seen you mock one of his ideas.
HARVEY: Yeah, because his ideas aren't ridiculous.
DONNA: This is Mike's first big idea.
HARVEY: And I just told you, his first big idea sucks.
DONNA: And if you use Rachel to deliver that message, this is gonna end badly.
HARVEY: Okay, thanks, mom, but I think I'm gonna keep playing ball in the house.
DONNA: Okay, act like a child who doesn't want to be told what to do, but Mike's a client, and you need to start treating him like one.
HARVEY: Donna, the next time I need help figuring out how to treat a client, I'll let you know.
DONNA: Okay, great.
[Donna leaves the office]
CUT TO: PEARSON SPECTER HALLWAY
[Harvey approaches Jessica as she exits the elevator]
JESSICA: Harvey, what can I do for you?
HARVEY: There's a Jeff Malone waiting in the conference room wanting to see both of us. Any idea who he is?
JESSICA: I've run into him before. He's a hotshot at the S.E.C.
HARVEY: What do you think he wants?
JESSICA: Let's go find out.
[Jessica and Harvey enter the conference room]
JEFF: Ms. Pearson. You must be Harvey Specter. I'm Jeff Malone.
HARVEY: I know who you are. My question is, why are you here?
JEFF: You seem hostile.
HARVEY: You investigate publicly traded companies. We're not publicly traded.
JEFF: No, but your clients are.
JESSICA: Hence his question and our hostility.
JEFF: Our?
JESSICA: We tend to stick together when an uninvited guest interrupts our dinner.
JEFF: Well, I didn't bring any wine, but when I go, I hope you'll be happy that I dropped by.
HARVEY: Yeah, I doubt that.
JESSICA: So why don't you tell us which client you're here for and be on your way?
JEFF: All of them.
JESSICA: Since when does the S.E.C. go around intimidating law firms by going after their clients?
JEFF: They don't, but they will when Eric Woodall starts there next week.
HARVEY: He comes at our clients after what he did, this time, he won't get fired, he'll end up in jail.
JESSICA: Except it won't be Woodall who's coming. It'll be him.
JEFF: Exactly. Listen, I'm gonna be getting a vaguely worded assignment with a not-so-vague agenda of getting up your clients' asses with the full power of the S.E.C. And when they ask why - and they always ask why - I'm gonna be expected to tell them that it's because they're clients of your firm.
HARVEY: Why are you telling us this?
JESSICA: Because he doesn't want to work for Woodall. He wants to work here.
JEFF: I've always heard how good you were. It's nice to see it's true. Anyway, here's the thing. I'm really tired of being a public servant, and more importantly, I've always thought that Eric Woodall was a, um-- oh, shit, I'll just go ahead and say it. He's a dick.
HARVEY: Finally, something we can agree on.
JEFF: Seems to me the only thing left for us to agree on, Harvey, is my starting salary. Chuckles I'm just kidding. I'm sure all your new senior partners get paid the same.
JESSICA: Before you start picking out floor patterns for your new office, I'd like to discuss this with my partner first.
JEFF: I'd expect nothing less. Oh, uh, just one more thing. I haven't been formally given this assignment yet, so I have no conflict. But in one more week I will, which means this offer will be gone.
JESSICA: Is that a threat?
JEFF: I would never threaten someone that I want to be in business with, Jessica. It's just the truth.
[Jeff leaves the conference room]
HARVEY: I like him.
CUT TO: LOUIS' OFFICE
[Katrina enters the office]
KATRINA: How did it go with Harvey?
LOUIS: It didn't.
KATRINA: What do you mean "it didn't"? You're the only man here who can take on Jeff Malone. How could he not see that?
LOUIS: I didn't bring it up.
KATRINA: Louis, winter is coming.
LOUIS: I know, and I'm the Night's Watch. But right now we need to be patient.
KATRINA; Patience is not your strong suit.
LOUIS: Well, today it is. Because if there's one thing that I've always known, it's that you do not call the pretty girl. You wait for her to call you.
KATRINA: Louis, I'm seeing someone.
LOUIS: I'm happy for you, though I have no idea why you're saying that right now. Katrina, trust me. They're gonna find out about Jeff Malone soon enough 'cause he's gonna come calling. And when he does, they're gonna come right over to me.
CUT TO: PEARSON SPECTER HALLWAY
[Jessica and Harvey walk towards Jessica's office]
JESSICA: Like him all you want. I'm not hiring him.
HARVEY: Why not?
JESSICA: Why do you think?
HARVEY: Because you don't like making decisions staring down the barrel of a shotgun.
JESSICA: Jessica Pearson. Nice to meet you.
[Jessica and Harvey enter her office]
HARVEY: Jessica, the man walked in here and offered to fight for us.
If it's not him, who's it gonna be?
JESSICA: The guy in the office next door.
HARVEY: Louis?
JESSICA: Harvey, Louis knows everything there is to know about the S.E.C. He's damn good, and you know it.
HARVEY: This guy isn't damn good. He's a killer.
JESSICA: And he's a prosecutor. We need a defender.
HARVEY: If I'm in a dark alley, I'd take the killer over the defender seven days a week. And Eric Woodall's gonna put us in a dark alley.
JESSICA: Louis is a known quantity. And right now Jeff Malone's biggest selling point is telling us that Woodall is coming.
HARVEY: Louis sure as hell didn't, which means he either didn't know or he wasn't man enough to come in here and take the job for himself.
JESSICA: Harvey, do you know why I don't like being strong-armed into decisions? Because I'll never be able to trust the person who did it.
HARVEY: Then figure out a way to get someone as good or hire this guy and come to terms with it. Because if it's Louis against Malone in a street fight, I'm picking that dude.
[Harvey leaves the office]
CUT TO: SIDWELL INVESTMENT GROUP
[Mike walks towards his office and is handed a file from a female coworker]
MIKE: Oh, thank you.
AMY: Hey, how'd your meeting go with the mysterious Harvey Specter?
MIKE: Being a dick doesn't make him mysterious.
AMY: Well, then I guess you're an open book.
[Amy follows Mike into his office]
MIKE: You know, I was gonna give you those Daft Punk tickets, but now after that, I think I'll give them to Edna.
AMY: Okay, first of all, Edna was 63 when Daft Punk was born.
MIKE: Really? With that skin?
AMY: You know what, I worked hard to get you those things. Why aren't you going?
MIKE: I dropped the hammer on Harvey, which means Rachel's gonna be working all night.
[Rachel enters the office, and Amy leaves]
MIKE: Hey, what are you doing here?
RACHEL: Donna texted me when I was at Columbia and told me that Harvey gave me the rest of the day off because I'm kicking ass.
MIKE: He's giving you the rest of the day off?
RACHEL: Mmhmm, so I figured we could celebrate over dinner before the concert.
[Mike looks puzzled]
RACHEL: What, are you jealous 'cause he never did that for you?
MIKE: Laughs Um, no. That's great. You pick a place. I'll meet you there. I got to set up some meetings for tomorrow first.
RACHEL: What about The Little Owl?
MIKE: Yeah.
RACHEL: Okay.
CUT TO: HARVEY'S APARTMENT
[Harvey opens the door, and Mike enters]
HARVEY: Mike, what are you doing here?
MIKE: You delivered a message, so now I'm delivering one. Pearson Specter is formally in review.
HARVEY: What did you just say to me?
MIKE: You want my business, you're gonna have to earn it.
HARVEY: I have earned it.
MIKE: By shiting on my plan?
HARVEY: You don't have a plan. You're running into a wall. It's not my job to crash into it with you.
MIKE: Crash into it? You didn't even ask me who I'm going after.
HARVEY: I didn't have to because it doesn't matter. But go ahead. Who is it?
MIKE: Gillis industries.
HARVEY: That's not a whale, that's a monster. A man like Walter Gillis isn't gonna listen to a guy like you offering to save him with sunshine and rainbows.
MIKE: That's exactly what you said to me before I got him to sell me his distribution centers.
HARVEY: Congratulations. You got to walk his dog. That doesn't mean he's gonna let you marry his daughter.
MIKE: Listen to me. You want to be my guy? You stop telling me why I can't do this, and you start figuring out how I can.
HARVEY: I already told you how you can. You get some money, start buying some shares, and you walk in there with a club and the balls to use it if you have to.
MIKE: Harvey, when I told you my plan's happening whether you like it or not, I meant it. I'm interviewing law firms tomorrow. You show up with a better attitude and another move, or you just lost a client.
[Mike leaves]
CUT TO: MIKE AND RACHEL'S APARTMENT
[Mike and Rachel are getting ready for their night out]
RACHEL: You want talk about it?
HARVEY: Talk about what?
RACHEL: About whatever's going on with you and Harvey.
[Mike doesn't respond]
RACHEL: Sighs Why does everybody think that I was born yesterday? I tell you that he gives me the rest of the day off work, you vanish until dinner, and then you're pissed off for the rest of the night, so it doesn't take a rocket scientist.
MIKE: Clearly. I meant "I love you."
RACHEL: Mmhmm, nice recovery. Doesn't get you out of answering my question.
MIKE: You really want to know? I'll tell you. Harvey was Michael Jordan. Now it's Lebron's time, and he can't take it.
RACHEL: That's a pretty big accusation to make.
MIKE: Well, there's more to the story than you know.
RACHEL: What?
MIKE: Right, so come on. I said I didn't want to get between you two.
RACHEL: What?
MIKE: Sighs Let's just say that you kicking ass for him isn't the reason you got the day off.
CUT TO: PEARSON SPECTER HALLWAY
Harvey and Rachel are walking towards Harvey's office]
HARVEY: I thought you had law school today.
RACHEL: I do right after this.
HARVEY: He told you.
RACHEL: Did you think he wouldn't? Look, if you want to send a message to Mike, go right ahead. If you want me to send a message to Mike, tell me when and where, but Please don't ever use me like that again.
HARVEY: You're right.
RACHEL: I'm what now?
HARVEY: I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry.
RACHEL: Is it April fools' day?
HARVEY: No, but don't ever let it be said that I can't admit when I'm wrong.
RACHEL: Then I will stop saying that.
HARVEY: Didn't you say you have class today?
RACHEL: I'm on my way.
[Rachel leaves as they reach Donna's desk]
DONNA: What was that all about?
HARVEY: Just some administrative stuff.
DONNA: Administrative stuff. You and Rachel.
HARVEY: I don't want to talk about it.
RACHEL: You mean about how everything I said would happen happened, and now you realize I was right the whole time?
HARVEY: No one likes a gloater, Donna.
RACHEL: Well, then I guess the Harvey Specter University of gloating is gonna have to shut down.
HARVEY: I can still give lectures on the weekend.
[Rachel points to her ear]
HARVEY: You want to hear it? You were right.
[Donna sighs]
HARVEY: Call Ray. I'm gonna go let Mike know I'm his lawyer.
[As Harvey is about to leave, Logan Sanders shows up]
LOGAN: You're gonna push a meeting with me?
DONNA: Harvey, Logan Sanders is here to see you.
CUT TO: HARVEY'S OFFICE
HARVEY: First of all, I don't appreciate you stomping into my office with an attitude.
LOGAN: Yeah, well, I don't appreciate being put off, especially when I know that you never pushed a meeting with my father.
HARVEY: Your father never went to Jessica to set a meeting with me.
LOGAN: Then I assume that next time I call you directly, you'll pick up the phone.
HARVEY: Logan, let me give you the ABCs of me. I don't take meetings, I set them. And my respect isn't demanded, it's earned.
LOGAN: That's only two things. What's "C"?
HARVEY: "C" is for people who show me they know "A" and "B."
LOGAN: Well, since we're quoting Jerry Maguire, all I want is for you to show me the money.
HARVEY: You just took step number one towards earning my respect. And I dig that about you.
LOGAN: Great. Would it be too much trouble for me to discuss my business now?
HARVEY: Well, I was gonna move on to Crimson Tide, but, yeah, go ahead. Knock yourself out.
LOGAN: You ever hear of a family called the Winwards?
HARVEY: No. Should I?
LOGAN: In 1950, they were worth the equivalent of a billion dollars. By 1988, one of them owned a couple of dry cleaners. And it didn't happen because they squandered it. It happened because they stayed a dinosaur.
HARVEY: You don't want to become a dinosaur.
LOGAN: No. Sighs I like to think of myself as a shark. Keep moving forward or die.
HARVEY: You're talking hostile takeover.
LOGAN: You think I'd be here if I wasn't?
HARVEY: You just took step number two towards earning my respect. What's the company?
LOGAN: Gillis Industries, and I already own 4.9%.
HARVEY: Logan, we have to end this conversation right now.
LOGAN: What are you talking about? I thought I just earned your respect.
HARVEY: You did, but we have a conflict.
LOGAN: What do you mean, you have a conflict?
HARVEY: I mean we have a conflict.
LOGAN: What are you gonna do about it?
HARVEY: I'm gonna go and resolve it.
LOGAN: Well, you better do it fast, because I am in on this. And that means you're either with me or against me. That includes all $1 billion of my business.
[Harvey leaves the office]
CUT TO: PEARSON SPECTER CAFETERIA
[Katrina approaches Louis]
LOUIS: Hey. Prunie?
KATRINA: What is that?
LOUIS: It's a prune smoothie. I invented it myself.
KATRINA: Rain check. Louis, guess who stopped by yesterday for an impromptu meeting with Jessica and Harvey.
LOUIS: Please tell me it was Dick Cheney.
KATRINA: Why would you want it to be Dick Cheney?
LOUIS: Why wouldn't I want it to be Iron Dick? Holy shit, I think I know who you were talking about.
KATRINA: I think you do too.
LOUIS: Is it a certain S.E.C. beast whose name happens to rhyme with schmeff schmalone?
KATRINA: Schmess it is, and schmess it does.
LOUIS: Well, schmuck me.
[Harvey approcahes]
HARVEY: Louis, we have a problem.
LOUIS: What's the problem? Looks at Katrina and chuckles As if I didn't know.
HARVEY: I just got out of a meeting with Logan Sanders.
LOUIS: Logan Sanders? This isn't about...
HARVEY: About what?
LOUIS: Then-never mind. What's the problem?
HARVEY: He wants to go after the same company that Mike pitched me first.
LOUIS: So what's the problem? Mike brought it to you first. You're obligated to stick with him.
HARVEY: The problem is Mike formally put us in review.
LOUIS: Holy shit. That's why you're coming to me. You're gonna lose Mike, and you want to know if there's any way around it?
HARVEY: Is there?
LOUIS: No. Harvey, I'm sorry, but you're gonna have to drop Mike.
CUT TO: LOUIS' OFFICE
KATRINA: What happened with Harvey?
LOUIS: Nothing. He had an emergency with Mike.
KATRINA: Fine, but don't you think now is the time to act for yourself?
LOUIS: No, we have a good plan, and we're sticking to it. They're stewing on Malone, and the more they stew--
KATRINA: The more leverage we have.
KATRINA AND LOUIS: Name partner.
LOUIS: And as I've said, all we need to do is be patient.
KATRINA: Well, patience may be one of your virtues, but it is not one of mine.
[KATRINA hands Louis a Pearson Specter Litt business card saying "Louis Litt, Senior Partner"]
KATRINA: I didn't want to jinx it.
LOUIS: You didn't. Katrina, this is one of the sweetest things anyone's ever done for me.
KATRINA: I want to make sure you don't waste your opportunity to get this.
LOUIS: I promise I won't.
[Louis looks at the business card and shutter]
CUT TO: JEFF MALONE'S OFFICE
[Jessica enters]
JEFF: What are you doing here? We shouldn't be seen together.
JESSICA: You had no problem walking into my place of business. Why should I have a problem walking into yours?
JEFF: Because unless you're here to tell me that I have the job, then you're putting my position here in jeopardy.
JESSICA: How do you think I felt when I found the man that I'm sleeping with standing in my conference room?
JEFF: Jessica, will you please lower your voice?
JESSICA: Not only that, but you stood there with a shit-eating grin on your face and tried to strong-arm me into giving you a job.
JEFF: Are you as turned on as I am right now? Laughs
JESSICA: You're not funny. Why didn't you come to me first with this?
JEFF: Because if I had come to you with this first, you would have thought I was trading on our relationship.
JESSICA: Aren't you?
JEFF: No. And if we weren't together, I would have gone to both of you, all right? So I went to both of you. Now it may not have been perfect, but There was no perfect way of doing it, unless I hadn't done it.
JESSICA: Now that sounds pretty perfect to me.
JEFF: What are you so afraid of?
JESSICA: Do I have to draw you a picture? I'm not the one that made up the saying "you don't shit where you eat."
JEFF: Am I the shit or the food in this little painting of yours? Because if we're just a fling, then what difference does it make whether I work with you or not?
JESSICA: I didn't say we're just a fling.
JEFF: Then if there really is a chance for us, then why not go for both?
JESSICA: Because I've seen what happens when things go south between partners, and I'm not willing to put my business in jeopardy.
JEFF: Your business?
JESSICA: Yes, my business. The one that I have fought tooth and nail to keep together, the same business that you strolled into with a shotgun and said, "marry me, or I'll start shooting."
JEFF: Jess, if you want me to apologize for the way that I asked, then I will. But I don't ask for things that I don't want. And what I want is to work at Pearson Specter and to keep seeing you.
JESSICA: Those two things are not both gonna happen.
[Jessica walks towards the door]
JEFF: Then I guess you have to decide what's more important to you, what we have or what you have.
CUT TO: MIKE'S INTERVIEW ROOM
[Amy enters the room with Harvey following]
AMY: Hey, Mike. There's another prospect here to see you, but he's late, and his tie's too fat. Should I let him in?
HARVEY: You tell her to say all that garbage?
AMY: He didn't need to, Johnny fat tie.
MIKE: Yeah, I guess I have time for one more meeting.
HARVEY: Mike, I need to talk to you--
MIKE: Although, I'm sorry, sir. You've missed the pastries. I can call you some up--
HARVEY: Listen to me. I came down here because I wanted to tell you if you want to run through this wall, I'm ready to run through it with you.
MIKE: Good.
HARVEY: But I can't.
MIKE: What?
HARVEY: What I can do is tell you I'm ready to run through another one.
MIKE: What the hell are you talking about?
HARVEY: We have a conflict.
MIKE: Bullshit. Who is it?
HARVEY: It's not bullshit.
MIKE: Then who is it?
HARVEY: You know I can't tell you that.
MIKE: No, what I know is that it's very convenient that you suddenly have a conflict the day after you tell me that my idea isn't good enough.
HARVEY: I don't find it convenient at all, but you put us in review, and now I have to go with the other client.
MIKE: I put you in review because you refused to get on board.
HARVEY: And I just told you, I want to run through another wall with you, and we still can if you drop this.
MIKE: And why should I be the one to drop it?
HARVEY: Because they're not going to, and I have to stick with them. And I'm telling you, you're gonna lose.
MIKE: What, because you're on the other side?
HARVEY: Because their plan is better.
MIKE: Says the professional bullshit-er who has a brand-new vested interest in me bowing out.
HARVEY: I'm gonna let that go. But if you don't let this go, I can't represent you on anything until it's over.
MIKE: Then I guess we're done here.
[Harvey leaves]
CUT TO: HARVEY'S APARTMENT
[Harvey enters the apartment and finds Jessica in his kitchen cooking]
HARVEY: You cook?
JESSICA: You come home to this in your kitchen, and that's what you're going to ask me?
HARVEY: Well, I was gonna ask you how the hell you got into my apartment, but I knew you weren't gonna tell me.
JESSICA: Do you remember when you told me I should think about taking some morning meetings?
HARVEY: I can't say that it's never crossed my mind, but you really think it's a good idea--
JESSICA: Jeff Malone.
HARVEY: Well, he's not my type. You gotta be kidding me. Why didn't you tell me yesterday?
JESSICA: Because I wasn't gonna hire him yesterday, so it was none of your business. But today I might, so now it is.
HARVEY: And you want to know how I feel about it.
JESSICA: You're my partner.
HARVEY: Well, I already told you how I feel about hiring him. This doesn't change that.
JESSICA: Good to know.
HARVEY: Seems like something else is on your mind.
JESSICA: He doesn't just want to work together. He wants us to keep seeing each other.
HARVEY: And you don't want to risk the one to have the other.
JESSICA: No. I don't.
HARVEY: I've been there.
JESSICA: I know.
HARVEY: Then you need to figure out which is more important.
JESSICA: I guess I do.
HARVEY: So you two have, um..
JESSICA: Yes.
HARVEY: So he's seen you naked?
JESSICA: That's usually how these things work.
[Harvey looks into the air and smiles a little]
JESSICA: Are you picturing me naked right now?
HARVEY: Maybe. Yes.
JESSICA: Go wash your hands. And don't spend too much time in that bathroom.
CUT TO: JONATHAN SIDWELL'S OFFICE
SIDWELL: Let me get this straight. You come to me with a killer idea, and all of a sudden you don't want to do it anymore 'cause you lost your BFF?
MIKE: I don't want to do it because it's not a killer idea anymore.
SIDWELL: Why the hell not?
MIKE: Because Harvey has a conflict, which means somebody already has a dog in the fight.
SIDWELL: Who gives a shit?
MIKE: I do. 'Cause whoever it is is already buying shares.
SIDWELL: You didn't come in here to give up. You came in here to get my money.
MIKE: You're damn right I did.
SIDWELL: I give you my money, now I have downside.
MIKE: Jonathan, look. You said you wanted a home run. You gotta pull out your checkbook, 'cause I can't compete without it.
SIDWELL: You could yesterday.
MIKE: Now it's today.
SIDWELL: And you're still going in there another banker in a suit, hoping he'll trust you based on nothing.
MIKE: I've got more than nothing.
SIDWELL: What the hell are you talking about?
MIKE: Trust me. I did my homework.
SIDWELL: Batter up.
CUT TO: WALTER GILLIS' HOME
[Gillis opens the door]
GILLIS: What are you doing here?
MIKE: I said I'd tell you what we were gonna do with your centers five seconds after we closed.
GILLIS: When did we close?
MIKE: About three seconds ago.
[Mike hands Gillis a file]
GILLIS: I guess we better hurry.
[Mike enters Gillis' house]
GILLIS: All right, what's going to happen to my employees?
MIKE: We're going to sell your distribution centers to a pharmaceutical company as distribution centers. They use your workers. They hit the ground running. Win-win.
GILLIS: You're a man of your word. But that's not why you're here.
MIKE: No, it isn't.
GILLIS: I'm not interested in selling my business.
MIKE: I know that, because I know why you've thrown your whole life into this company and why you chose the movie business in the first place.
GILLIS: What's your point?
MIKE: Phillip. Your son. You loved watching movies together. That's why you started this company and why you won't let go of what it's become for any amount of money.
GILLIS: How do you know that?
MIKE: I told you. I do my homework. You lost him, and you needed an outlet, and that's what this company is to you now - your family.
GILLIS: I told you, I'm not selling.
MIKE: And I told you, they're coming after you whether you like it or not. And the difference between me and them is they want to tear your company apart, and I want to keep it together.
GILLIS: You don't have the resources to do that.
MIKE: Yes. I do.
[Mike puts a document in front of Gillis]
MIKE: As of an hour ago, I started investing. So by this time next week, I will own 4.9%. I didn't have to tell you that.
GILLIS: And that's supposed to make me trust you?
MIKE: I lost both of my parents when I was 11 years old, so I know a little something about needing family. Walter I can't guarantee you we'll win, but I can guarantee you that I will never sell you out.
GILLIS: All right, I'm in.
CUT TO: RACHEL'S OFFICE
[Rachel enters her office and finds Harvey waiting behind her desk]
RACHEL: Impersonates Harvey Listen, Zane, I want that goddamn filing on my desk nine seconds ago, or you can forget you ever worked here. Now excuse me. I've got to go be a dick to someone.
HARVEY: Sit down.
RACHEL: Sighs Is this about you and Mike?
HARVEY: Listen to me. This is gonna be a street fight, and there's only gonna be one man standing when it's over. So I'm only gonna ask you this once.
RACHEL: You don't need to. I don't want out. I want in. And when I said, "you want me to send a message to Mike?" I meant it.
HARVEY: I was just gonna ask if you were comfortable getting me coffee in the mornings.
RACHEL: I'm serious. I didn't back down from a fight with my dad, and I'm not going to back down from one with Mike.
HARVEY: Good. Now, I actually am gonna get coffee.
[Harvey gets up to leave]
RACHEL: Great. One sugar, a splash of cream, and don't skimp on the hazelnut.
[Harvey stops and looks at her unimpressed]
RACHEL: Too soon.
HARVEY: Instead of failing to be charming, why don't you do something useful and get moving on drawing up a tender offer for Logan Sanders?
RACHEL: Logan? No, you mean Max Sanders.
HARVEY: I keep forgetting that you're in law school half the time. Max is retired. It's Logan's show now.
[Harvey leaves]
[Rachel sighs]
CUT TO: HARVEY'S OFFICE
[Harvey enters his office and finds Logan Sanders waiting for him]
LOGAN: You wanted to see me?
HARVEY: We need to move up our timeline.
LOGAN: Well, I'm buying shares as fast as I can.
HARVEY: I'm talking about a tender offer.
LOGAN: The plan is shock and awe. If we rush a tender offer, we won't have enough leverage to force people to vote with us.
HARVEY: It's fine to have shock and awe when you're the only one in the game, but Walter Gillis knows we're coming, and he got himself an ally.
LOGAN: How do you know that?
HARVEY: Because I do.
LOGAN: Your conflict, who is it?
HARVEY: I can't talk about it.
LOGAN: Well, when the hell can you?
HARVEY: In another hour.
[Logan sighs and leaves]
[Donna walks up to Harvey as he is leaving his office]
HARVEY: You have it for me?
DONNA: Harvey, you know you can still get out of this if you want to. Mike's not gonna sign that thing if you tell him not to.
HARVEY: It's too late for that.
DONNA: Whispering Oh, my God.
[Harvey leaves, and Donna turns around to find Louis waiting at her desk]
LOUIS: Hey, just the woman I wanted to see. Donna, would you happen to have the measurements to Hardman's old office?
DONNA: Louis, get out of my way.
LOUIS: Whoa. What's going on, Donna?
DONNA: What's going on? That bullshit Harvey told you about waiting for the girl to call, it's bullshit. He waited, and now it's too late.
[Louis leaves]
CUT TO: KATRINA'S OFFICE]
[Louis enters]
LOUIS: Change of plans. Cancel anything you have. We're staying here all night.
KATRINA: What for?
LOUIS: The S.E.C.'s coming, Jessica's hiring one person to fight 'em, and first thing tomorrow, we need to convince her that person's me.
CUT TO: JEFF MALONE'S APARTMENT
[Jeff opens the door]
JEFF: Hey. I see you have the movies.
JESSICA: Mmhmm.
JEFF: I guess that means you've decided which relationship you want us to have.
JESSICA: I have. But it's not what you might think.
[Jessica enters the apartment]
JESSICA: If you still want the job, it starts tomorrow.
JEFF: I do.
JESSICA: Then tonight is our last night.
JEFF: We'll see if you still think that in four hours.
JESSICA: Oh, you want to go three times?
JEFF: Oh, I was including one of the movies.
JESSICA: No.
JEFF: No.
[They start kissing and walk towards the bedroom]
CUT TO: MIKE'S OFFICE
[Harvey enters]
HARVEY: Finally got yourself an office.
MIKE: Maybe you forgot, but I had an office before. I just gave it back.
HARVEY: I remember, as a show of loyalty.
MIKE: Yeah, well, that was then. This is now. What you got there, Harvey?
HARVEY: You think you could meet with Walter Gillis and I wouldn't find out?
MIKE: No, I knew you'd find out. I just didn't care.
[Harvey pulls out a file]
HARVEY: Then maybe you won't mind signing this.
MIKE: Laughs Let me guess. You want me to waive the conflict that you still have after hearing my plan first.
HARVEY: I sure didn't come here to see your shity office.
MIKE: Laughs Aren't you supposed to be nice to the person you need something from?
HARVE: They're still coming whether you sign it or not.
MIKE: If I don't sign it, they won't be coming with you.
HARVEY: True. Of course, if you don't sign it, it may cause some people to say you're afraid of me. And by "some people," I mean me.
MIKE: Of course, if I sign it just because you said that, then it might cause some people to say you baited me. But I knew you were coming the second I went to see Walter Gillis, so I went ahead and signed one for you.
[Mike gets up and hands Harvey a file]
HARVEY: I guess it's on.
MIKE: I guess it is. You think we need to lay out some ground rules?
HARVEY: Rules? In a knife fight?
MIKE: Chuckles I guess somebody ought to yell, "one, two, three, go."
HARVEY: One, two, three, go.
[Harvey leaves]
MIKE: You know, usually when someone gets a new office, you're supposed to bring them something, right?
[Harvey smiles as he's leaving]
MIKE: Like an orchid or something? No? Nothing?
CUT TO: MIKE AND RACHEL'S APARTMENT
[Mike enters]
RACHEL: You signed the waiver, didn't you?
MIKE: You know I did. Not gonna back down from Harvey.
RACHEL: Mm. And I suppose you got Gillis on board with your plan?
MIKE: I wouldn't have needed to sign the waiver if I didn't.
[Rachel looks away]
MIKE: Hey. Hey, it's gonna be okay. This thing between me and Harvey, it doesn't have to affect us. We won't let it.
RACHEL: I didn't know that Logan Sanders took over his father's company until today.
MIKE: What does that have to do with anything?
RACHEL: He's Harvey's client.
MIKE: Yeah, so?
RACHEL: Do you remember when I told you that I That I once had an affair with a married man? It was him.
( Suits (TV Series) )
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