[Lyric] Penis Dimension (Frank Zappa & The Mothers)

Penis dimension
Penis dimension
Penis dimension is worrying me
I can't hardly sleep at night 'cause of penis dimension
Do you worry?
Do you worry a lot?
No
Do you worry?
Do you worry and moan
That the size of your cock is not monstrous enough?
It's your penis dimension
Penis dimension
Wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah
Hiya, friends
Now, just be honest about it
Did you ever consider the possibility that your penis, and in the case of many dignified ladies, that the size of the titties themselves might provide elements of subconscious tension?
Weird, twisted anxieties that could force a human being to have to become a politician, a policeman, a Jesuit monk, a rock and roll guitar player, a wino, you name it
Or in the case of the ladies, the ones that can't afford a silicone beef-up may become writers of hot books
Manuel, the gardener, placed his burning phallus in her quivering quim
Yes, or they become Carmelite nuns
Gonzo, the lead guitar player, placed his mutated member in her slithering slit
Ooh, or racehorse jockeys
There is no reason why you or your loved one should suffer
Things are bad enough without the size of your organ adding even more misery to the troubles of the world
Right on, right on
Now, if you're a lady and you've got munchkin tits, you can console yourself with this age-old line from primary school
Anything over a mouthful is wasted
Yes, and isn't it the truth?
And if you're a guy, one night you're at a party and you're trying to be cool
I mean, you aren't even wearing any underwear you're being so cool
And somebody hits on you one night and he looks you up and down and he says, uh
Eight inches or less?
Well, let me tell you, brothers
That's the time when you gotta turn around and look that son of a bitch right between the eyes
And you gotta tell him these words