[Lyric] Pirates of the Ice Cream Parlor (64studios101)

[Intro]
Hear ye, hear ye, my scurvy sea dogs
Hear ye! I have a story to tell... about one of our own
So sit back, my hearties, and listen...

[Verse 1]
There was once a Pirate with a long golden beard
That shined throughout the ocean on which he was feared
He commanded a ship of men thirsty for blood
But as a leader he was honestly a bit of a dud
“Let’s plunder that island!” his crew oft declared
But he always yelled “No!” because he was too scared

[Chorus 1 (Instrumental)]
Hahahahahahahahahah!
Get on with it!

[Verse 2]
Years ago his eye was shot out by a dart
And his teeth were now rotting, as was his heart
In place of a hand he had a metal hook
And it had been years since he picked up a book
But he spent all his days in bed having dreams
About leaving this life for one of eating ice creams
[Chorus 2 (Instrumental)]
Quiet... quiet!

[Verse 3]
One day when his men asked him to steal some treasure
He decided he’d tired of this lack of leisure
They started to beg, which he chose to ignore
As he turned the pirate ship t’wards the ice cream store
He grinned ear to ear, and it shined like a star
As he told his sad men that the store wasn’t far

[Chorus 3 (Instrumental)]
Aaargghhh!
Hahahahahahahahahah!

[Verse 4]
In just a few hours the journey was complete
But his angry crew felt the sting of defeat
It felt like bees had plunged their skin with a syringe
They thus felt betrayed, and decided on revenge
As the Pirate glided to his golden temple
The men made a plan, effective, though simple

[Chorus 4 (Instrumental)]
How long is this thing?
Waaaay too long
[Verse 5]
When the Pirate gave the cashier a green bill
The crew snuck into position for the kill
Each man was prepared to break the Pirate’s bones
But he whirled around, holding two ice cream cones
“I warn you,” he said, “Fall back in your seats
Don’t try to beat a man armed with frozen treats!”

[Chorus 5]
La La La La La La La La La La La La
La La La La La La La La La La La La

[Verse 6]
The men still advanced, snottily snarling like dogs
Thrusting their swords as if they were cutting logs
The Pirate crossed the cones into a large x
And let out a roar like he was a T-Rex
He parried each sword with the cones’ pointy tips
And chased the crew away by throwing chocolate chips

[Chorus 6]
La La La La La La La La La La La La
La La La La La La La La La La La La

[Verse 7]
The men scurried up their ship’s plank like large ants
They had become crying and screaming infants
The Pirate was stranded in the ice cream shop
His blood had been boiling, but began to stop
“Alas,” he cried as he jumped up happily
“That dumb ship is gone, so I’m finally free!”
[Chorus 7 (Instrumental)]
Free!
Free!
Muhahahahaha!

[Verse 8]
And so the Pirate lived the rest of his days
Eating cones of ice cream in a content haze
The workers at first would all eye him with fear
But soon they felt the butterflies disappear
The Pirate looked scary enough to cause screams
But he really just wanted to eat his ice creams

[Final Chorus (Instrumental)]
La La La La La La La La La La La La
La La La La La La La La La La La La

[Outro]
And that's the story of the pirate
I hope you enjoyed that
Now I could really use a little refreshment...
I think I'll have a scoop of double chocolate chip