[Lyric] Scene 17: “When Do We Get Paid?” Dialog Protection Reel (Frank Zappa & The Mothers)

I hear birds
Calm down, you're supposed to be calm, you know?
Like you're just gonna work yourself into a frenzy
Would you like a Coke?
I hear birds in here
I want a beer, Motorhead
Yeah, here they come
It's about time
Oh, Frank looks tired, he must've just done an interview
Hello lads, shall we begin?
Sure

I should get their names first for the big story I'm going to write
My name is Don Preston, also know as Don De Wilde or Bif Debris
Depending on thе spiritual evolvement of thе role I'm supposed to play
I'm Jimmy Carl Black, I'm the Indian of the group
What group?
Oh, forget it
I'm Euclid James Motorhead Sherwood
And I came in last in the baritone sax category of the Down Beat Readers Poll for 1970
Uh, gentlemen, I'm sure you're all aware of the fact that we are in an imaginary town
Sure, I could tell right away
Right, the vibes
What's your name supposed to be?
My real name is Theodore Bikel
But for the purposes of the movie, you must call me Rance Muhammitz
Right on, Rance
The functioning of our senses has been spiritually impaired and chemically corrupted
By the fake artificial food coloring
Yeah
We must evolve
Yeah
We must progress
Progress
There must be growth
Yeah, microbiotic food and tie-dye shirts
Listen, man, I just wanna know two things
Is there any beer in this fake nightclub?
And when do we get paid?

What sort of beer do you drink, Jimmy Carl Black?
This is good human interest material for the big story I'm going to write
Let me rephrase that question
What kind of beer do you drink, Jimmy Carl Black?
Any old kind I can get my mouth on, honey, it don't make a shit to me
Gentlemen, gentlemen
In a moment or two, you'll be able to get your hands on all the imaginary beer that you want
For the moment, I would like to explain some of the things that you'll all be doing in this movie
I've been wondering about that
For Sherwood
Yeah?
We have a vacuum cleaner scheduled
A vacuum cleaner?
And a potential epileptic seizure during a production number later on
A vacuum cleaner
Oh, a vacuum
I thought the two of you would like to get acquainted
It says here that you are supposed to be in love

This abnormal relationship will be great for the big story I'm going to write
And maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe just good friends
Yes
Now, Mr. Preston, you will be playing a highly evolved and spiritual role
So I guess we'll have to call you Bif Debris for the rest of the movie
What am I supposed to do?
Says you're my nephew
You are wise because you've traveled the world
You've been to Paris, to London, to Berlin
You, uh, know the ropes
You meditate, you practice yoga, you play the synthesizer
You operate a fake light show in this imaginary nightclub
You will be Motorhead's guru
Guru?
And what is more, Jimmy Carl Black owes you five dollars
I thought I was going to get a chance to act, to emote
Wear a big cape and a black hat
Wait a minute
It says here that you get to wear a big cape
And a black hat
And you can turn into a monster any time you want to
The very presence of a monster person in this imaginary town
Has a definite bearing on the news value of the TV special they will make
From the big story I'm going to write
Listen, man, I just wanna know one thing
When do we get paid?
Look, look, look
Don't you even care what you do?
As long as I get some beer and I get paid, you can make me do anything
I'm professional
I'm deeply offended by your lack of artistic sense
Look here, Muhammitz, or whatever the fuck they call you
I don't even give a shit, man
I got five fucking kids at home and
Can she lend me a couple of bucks until the end of the week?
Who are you, anyway?
Oh, she writes for the imaginary rock and roll newspaper in San Francisco
San Franci—
My niece, my niece
I didn't know she was a blood relation
Just 'til the weekend
Wait a minute
Says here I'm supposed to lend you five bucks so you can owe it to me
Oh, thanks Donny
But, uh, just a minute, will ya?
You got any bread?

You got any bread?
What's he saying?
He wants to know if you can lend him a couple bucks 'til the weekend
What's he saying?
He wants to know if you can lend him a couple bucks 'til the weekend
I have to go now and write the big story I'm going to write
Where can I read it?
I'll send you a copy
Thank you
You have any idea where you're gonna be living in the next six months?
Ah
She fuck?