[Lyric] Scene 67: “I Am Bwana Dik” Dialog Protection Reel (Frank Zappa & The Mothers)

Hello, there
All the guys in the band pretending to get ready so they can go out and find some pussy
Woah, I wonder where the action is in this town
Every musician likes to find some pussy
Boy, I could've really scored last night
But every night, it's the same thing
Aynsley gets there first
He's so fast, it must be from playing the drums or something
I mean, if those girls over there only knew my secret identity
But, but how could thеy? How, how could they know that I am Bwana Dik?
Where's my hair dryеr?
Got to look lovely for the girls
After all, I am Bwana Dik

Each guy has his own speciality for getting the girl of his dreams
I sprayed my pits, I put on a new tie-dye T-shirt, I brushed my teeth
I cleaned my glasses
I buffed my nails

I bought a copy of DownBeat so I could carry it around and look like I knew what was happening
I left my shirt unbuttoned at the top
I stuffed three pair of socks and a bar of beauty soap down the front of my pants
I just know I'm gonna get laid tonight
I'm not taking any chances
But this little jar of tinsel glitter here
The same brand Danny Hutton puts on his face
Makes him look all glistening and seductive
Just put a little on here
The cheeks, the chin
Mmm, near the quivering lips
I'm so commercial I could die