[Lyric] Scene 84-85: Penis Dimension Dialog Protection Reel (Frank Zappa & The Mothers)

Penis dimension
Penis dimension
Penis dimension is worrying me
I can hardly sleep at night
'Cause of penis dimension

Do you worry?
Do you worry a lot?
No

Do you worry?
Do you worry and moan
That the size of your cock
Is not monstrous enough?
It's your penis dimension
Penis dimension

Wah, wah-wah-wah
Wah, wah-wah-wah

Hiya, friends
Now just be honest about it
Did you ever consider the possibility that your penis
And in the case of many dignified ladies
That the size of the titties themselves
Might provide elements of subconscious tension?
Weird, twistеd anxieties
That could force a human bеing to have to become a politician?
A policeman?
A Jesuit monk?
A rock and roll guitar player?
A wino? You name it
Or in the case of the ladies
The ones that can't afford a silicone beef-up
They become writers of hot books
"Manuel, the gardener
Placed his burning phallus in her quivering quim, ha"
Yes, or they become Carmelite nuns
"Gonzo, the lead guitar player
Placed his mutated member in her slithering slit, hahaha"
Ooh, or racehorse jockeys
There is no reason why you, or your loved one should suffer
Things are bad enough
Without the size of your organ adding even more misery to the troubles of the world
Right on, right on!
Now, if you're a lady and you've got munchkin tits
You can console yourself with this age-old line
From primary school
"Anything over a mouthful is wasted"
Yes, and isn't it the truth?
And if you're a guy
And one night you're at a party and you're trying to be cool, I mean
You aren't even wearing any underwear you're being so cool
And somebody hits on you one night
And he looks you up and down and he says, uh
"Eight inches or less?"
Well, let me tell you, brothers
That's the time when you've got to turn around and look that son of a bitch right between the eyes
And you gotta tell him these words