[Lyric] Scene 87: “Penis” Dialog Protection Reel (Frank Zappa & The Mothers)

Your dick
Your dick
Your dork
Your dork
Your prick
Your prick
Your pork (Your pork?)
Pork?

Who calls it a pork?
These men and the stuff they call a wee-wee

A wee-wee?

You mean a penis, don't you?

A penis?

Penis is such an ugly word

It's not that ugly, really
Sure, I use it all the time

Sure, sure, we all say it every once in a while, listen
Penis

Ew

Penis
Penis

Ew, it sounds so revolting the way you guys say it
Ew, ka-ka

Ka-ka

A penis can be a very useful organ

Yeah, and very exciting too once you get to know me

Penis

It sounds so overwhelmingly medicinal

A penis sounds likе something a doctor would have hanging off him

None of thе men I know and love in the rock 'n roll business got "penises"
They all got cocks or dicks at least
Sure, you wanna go strap on a pop star and he wants to stick a "penis" up you, where is that at?

Let's ask our studio audience

Will you trade what he has in his pants for what I have behind this curtain?

What is it?

You mean what's in his pants?

I know what's in his pants, he's a lonely guy

(Take the money)

You have to choose before the big wheel stops whirling
You, hey buddy, sky marshal, go whirl the big wheel

Can I just take the money?

There isn't any money, just the curtain and

The lonely guy

(Take the money)

Time is running out
Think it over carefully
The curtain

I want the money

Wait

What could it be in there?

In his pants?

In the curtain

Doesn't anybody care what's in my pants?