[Lyric] The Legend of Ganondorf: A Zelda Song (Random Encounters)

I wake up in the morning!
I put on my ugly face!
I make myself some breakfast!
I spritz myself with mace!

I get my trusty notebook!
I mix myself a drink!
I grab my pen and sit and then
Find ways to murder Link!

Like I could throw some balls of magic
Or I'll form a shadow clone!
Or I could sit and play my organ
Or just wait on Hyrule's throne!

Or maybe turn into a puppet
Or a giant, crazy snake...
But one thing's sure! You see, each plan will be
A freaking huge mistake!

Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf! Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf!
Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf! Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf!
“Sing it, ladies!”
Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf! Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf!
Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf! Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf!
I check my daily planner!
It tells me what to do!
It says to kidnap Zelda
And take the Triforce, too!

I'll come invade her castlе
'Cause Zelda's pretty hot!
Shе'll be my Gerudo princess
Or stay in jail to rot!

'Cause I've got giant, rippling muscles
And abs the size of hams
A neck that's thick and made of iron
And buttocks as strong as rams!
So if you can't get past my eyebrows
Or my complexion puts you off
Then just pretend I'm your boyfriend
And that my name is Sephiroth!

Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf! Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf!
Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf! Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf!
“Let’s get funky now!”
Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf! Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf!
Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf! Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf!

I'll break out of the Dark World!
The Sacred Realm's a joke!
The Twilight Realm can't hold me!
The Master Sword is broke!
No matter how you slay me
I'll come back just the same
Except in Link's Adventure
'Cause Zelda II is lame!

So get yourself some Heart Containers
And a shiny Magic Shield!
A pimped-out boomerang that sparkles
And a sword too big to wield!

You'd better gather seven sages
Or some maidens or some tears!
But hurry back, 'cause I'll attack again
In another hundred years!

Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf! Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf!
Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf! Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf!
“I can’t hear you!”
Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf! Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf!
Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf! Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf!

See, life can be quite fragile
When you're evil and you're feared...
You've got a drinking problem
And no one likes your beard...
You've got multiple personalities
Because you turn into a swine...
You deny all memory of a trilogy
That was made for CD-i!

So I'll just hire a thousand Bulbins and invite them to my tower
And we can throw a raucous kegger using my Triforce of Power!
Cause there'll be Booby Traps, Dodongos, Wizzrobes, Gidbos, Stalfos, too!
And poor old Link won't be invited cause he's a goody-two-shoes noob!

Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf! Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf!
Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf! Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf!

Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf! Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf!
Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf! Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf!

Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf! Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf!
Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf! Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf!