[Lyric] This Band Does Not Suck (Matthew Ebel)

People of Earth:
Do not be alarmed
We come in peace
My name is Prodo-1
And I know what you are thinking:
You are upset
You may even be frightened
But I have seen the future
And I can assure you
With all sincerity and certainty
That this band does not suck

This band does not suck

This band does not suck

I know the urge to run away may be strong;
That when you first heard the drummer warming up
You asked for the check
You reached for the screen
To thumb this track down
The din of some indie band
You've never heard of
Is the last thing you want in your head tonight
I understand
Your mind is already taxed enough:
Famine
War
Poverty
Disco
That hottie ten feet to your left
That you keep making eye contact with
But you can't tell if they're together
Or they're just friends
These are the tasks that overclock your CPU tonight
So what fresh hell is this noise
Pouring from the stage into your ears
Like sap: pervasive and indelible?
I assure you, this noise—
These auditory constructions
—are here to help preserve your sanity
Not to destroy it
For this band does not suck
This band does not suck

This band does not suck

You can feel yourself begin to relax
Order another beer
The seat grows more comfortable
The floor spacious and inviting
In this place
In this moment
You
Are
Safe
A sanctuary within a sanctuary
For beyond the auditory reach of
This music we humbly offer tonight
Your life may seem burdensome
Complicated
Uncertain
However
The wretched turmoil of the world
Outside this venue
Seems like a kindergarten
When compared with the cold, unfeeling eternity
Of the black universe
Remember this—
And take this to heart
For there may be little else to console you with
One truth shines through
The eternal darkness:
This band does not suck

This band does not suck

This band

Does

Not

Suck