[Lyric] This Has Got to Be I’m Sure This Is Newsworthy (Hypothetical Vomit)

[Verse doesn’t appropriately describe what’s about to happen, so inste’d I’ll refer to it as a fat lump]
We’re on the scene, somebody has to be
I’ve been on the hunt for news, for a story
This is better better worse than I could have ever asked for
If there’s one thing that’s not in my mind, it’s doubt
It’s pretty cut and dry what’s going on here
Hmm, “irrefutable” you might say if you were overthinking it
Are you even thinking about it?
Please tell me you’re thinking about it
This will be the talk throughout the dunes!

[Still not a verse, nor the hook, sort of a thinner lump]
Where are the cameras?
Where is the crew?
Why’m I the only one here, I ask?
Explain to my family
What’s it I do?
In moments like these, even I’m not really sure

[Verse]
I’ve got so many answers
Here they are
Number 1: the bakery is threatening to close its doors
Number 3: there were multiple vehicles involved
Number 2: this all happened in the span of a few seconds
Number 1 again: the bakery is threatening to close its doors!
Number 4: there are still witnesses being withheld from me
Number- actually no, I wanna harp on number 1: where will the bread come from???
I make purchases here every day
I’m one of their customers
I can’t eat
[The “tell everyone” section]
Tell everyone
Tell all, tell well
I can’t think of anyone who doesn’t need to know

[Do we want a Chorus?]
Alert the presses
This is pressing
I’m depressed
Feeling pressure
To scoop it out
X4