Now and then I think of what I learned in high school Like AP Bio an-d British Literature Is that igneous or metamorphic? I don't need to write in Iambic And I'll admit I don't know %#@! about Millard Fillmore Why did I have to learn this stuff? It has never come in handy Never used it for nothing Why did we read The Scarlett Letter? Puritans...Learn More

Be our guest Be our guest Eating solo is the best Use the napkin you still have, cherie From ordering Chinese I am old I am older You use me as a potholder Try the grey stuff, it's delicious Don't believe us? Ask the dishes! Fuck Off! We can break Paper plates Saving time to masturbate You bought me because you wanted to lose weight Seriously...Learn More

Come one! Come all! To the greatest of all Of the Internet's many diversions We've got pics, we've got LOLs We've got gifs large and small And even a couple perversions I'm a corgi in a costume I'm a tasteful nude I'm a goat cheese frittata I'm having brunch dude! Welcome to your Tumblr feed So click reload, there's more to see Shorts,...Learn More

[Vocalizing] [Chorus] If I had the money that Bezos has Think of all the things I could do If I had the money that Bezos has Think of all the things I could do [Verse 1] I could buy a home for the homeless And turn around their luck And after ending homelessness in the USA I'd still have fourteen billion bucks I could pay for cancer...Learn More

[Verse 1] No, I don't want no Trump A Trump is a guy that can't get no vote from me [Verse 2] Christie Close up the bridge and blame the incident On your assistants Chris Christie [Verse 3] Jeb! I need somebody Jeb! To run this country Jeb! Said I need some Bush, yeah Jeb! [Verse 4] I did Benghazi I did Benghazi [Verse 5] And it seems to me You...Learn More

[Verse 1] She's my number pi 3.14159 2653589 Sweet number piii! [Verse 2] Sittin' on the Blackwater Bay Watching the ships burn away, ooh I'm just sittin' on the Blackwater Bay Catchin' fire [Verse 3] Started from Nevada, now we're here Started from Nevada Now we're over fuckin' here Started from Nevada, now we're here Started from Nevada Now...Learn More

[Verse 1] And I said Haaaaaaaeee Haaaaaeeee I said Hae "What's with Adnan?" And I said Jaaaaaay-- [Verse 2] We're indicting Bobby Ney Ney Ney Ney Ney And the aides of Tom Delay Lay Lay Lay Lay 'Cause they accepted pay Pay Pay Pay Pay From Abramoff! Abramoff! [Verse 3] I love Dr. Scholl's So put some more gel In my sneakers, baby [Verse 4] Then...Learn More

Mitt Romney Style Romney Style I got a horse in the Olympics girl But I don't even watch 'em In and out of tax loopholes Cause I'm so fuckin' awesome Bitch it's Friday night You know we benefit hoppin' Check my conspicuous consumption I got distinguished hair And a private jet that flies me way up in the air Buy and sell ya company with so much...Learn More