[Lyric] Cameron’s Christmas Poem Christmas Is Crazy This Year (Episode One)

Well, Christmas is totally crazy this year
Kids nowadays got no holiday cheer
They'd rather use social media than drink Christmas beer
Yup, Christmas is officially crazy this year

Nobody wants to dress in red or green
Ever since a little thing called Covid-19
Now kids nowadays would rather just look at a screen
On their personal iPhone machine

And apparently we all have to social distance this holiday season
This crazy thing called the Omicron seems to be the reason
Kids nowadays hate Christmas for no good reason
They'd rather search TikTok on their devices this season

Yup, Christmas has gone crazy thanks to these apps
Like Twitter, and еBay, and Spotify, and Google Maps
Nowadays these kids would rathеr send Snaps
Than listen to Santa's flying reindeers flap

Nowadays the reindeers have different names
Donner got replaced with Videogames
And because nowadays kids think Rudolph is lame
Rudolph has also been replaced with Videogames
And this year Mrs. Claus has been replaced with an e-girl
And it's due to Covid-19 all over the world
Yup Christmas is so crazy this year it makes you want to hurl
This year kids nowadays want NFTs instead of gold gems or pearls

Yep, even Christmas Eve is crazy this year, it's shocking
Kids nowadays just want to hang virtual stockings
These kids nowadays prefer rapping over rocking
And instead of drinking Christmas eggnog, they're blogging

Ever since this crazy Covid-19 virus
The elves are out of work, they're shouting "Please hire us!"
Kids nowadays just want to use their touchscreen stylus
And smoke their vape pens to increase their highness

Even the yule log is now just online
Kids nowadays would rather just commit crime
Than spend time with their families at Christmastime
Thanks to a crazy little thing called Covid One-Nine

This year the jingle bells have been replaced by jingle ringtones
And the north pole has been replaced by a quarantine zone
The nice and naughty list is on Santa's notes app in his phone
And his sleigh has been replaced with a state-of-the-art drone

This year, instead of singing "Jingle Bells," they're singing "Batman Smells"
And nowadays instead of Christmas carolers there are drug cartels
Yep, Christmas is crazy this year, just ask the elves
Yep, this year they're listening to podcasts instead of jingle bells
On December 25th this year you'll think it's Halloween
Due to this year's scary and crazy theme
There's no mistletoe this year it seems
Thanks to this crazy little variant of this crazy little virus known as Covid-19

Yup, this year kids are getting cancelled instead of getting coal
And kids nowadays would rather eat bussin snacks than Christmas casserole
And the kids nowadays are no longer under their parent's control
And kids nowadays don't respect the police on patrol

Yup, this year it seems the Grinch isn't just a character in a book
And this year it seems like Ebenezer Scrooge isn't just a character in a book
Yep, this year Jack Skellington isn't just a character in a movie or a book
Nowadays, it seems like John McClane came to life out of a movie not a book

Instead of snow this year, Christmas will just be rainy
And instead of playing outside, these couch-potato kids nowadays are just lazy
And this virus called Covid-19's variants just keep changing
Yup, this year it really seems Christmas is crazy

And it's all thanks to a man named Barack
And a woman named Hill
And an old man I won't name who I'd sure like to kill
FN SCAR 20S from the top of a hill
That'll show you and your pea-brained wife Jill